Chapter 41
aimee
Everyone watched the giant projector screen.
It was Lukas’ run.
My family surrounded me. Mom’s hands were on Zara’s shoulders, and it seemed like we were the only ones holding our breaths. The crowd around us was rowdy—energized by the alcohol and the atmosphere. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen.
He whipped around the flags at speeds I wouldn’t dare attempt.
One skier had already wiped out on the crest Lukas was coming up on, and I held my breath. Zara said he’d been practicing nonstop, that he was prepared, that his run would be clean and fast.
I just wanted him down here, I wanted to talk to him, see him…feel his arms around me. Mine around his. I wanted to talk to him and tell him I made some mistakes.
He crested the hill, and I saw it the same time he probably felt it.
My breath caught in my throat.
His left ski went out from under him, and the edge seemed to catch in the snow before Lukas was pitched head first down the slope, flipping.
Ringing started in my ears.
My hands started to tremble.
His poles went flying, one bending at an odd angle. His other ski popped off as he hit the packed snow of the course and kept sliding and skidding—plowing snow with the force and speed of his body.
Air.
There was no air.
I couldn’t breathe.
Lukas wasn’t moving.
My heart was pounding hard in my chest—rapid quick beats that I felt in my whole body.
The pounding echoed loudly in my ears. Distantly, I could hear Zara’s panic.
I could hear someone talking to me. I could feel hands on my shoulders, my face, but I couldn’t see.
I couldn’t see past Lukas lying motionless on the side of the mountain.
I couldn’t see past Asher lying there lifeless.
I pressed my hand down to move myself away, and that’s when I felt the warmth over the cold.
I brought my hand that had been trapped between our bodies up to my face and saw the red.
My body started to shake. From shock, cold, fear—I didn’t know.
But drops of red shook from my hand as I held it up in front of my face.
My brain went back to being fuzzy, back to not understanding what was in front of me.
Maybe someone screamed, the sound tearing from their throat in raw agony, but I couldn’t be sure.
A million things were trying to piece themselves together in my head.
I could hear people calling for medical, for the EMT on standby.
Their voices were a distant echo. Then came this sudden realization that had dread forming a lead ball in the pit of my stomach.
I didn’t care about the pain in my own body, I moved, and scrambled and froze.
I couldn’t tell if my heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to escape from my chest, or if it had stopped all together. My breaths sawed in and out, ragged gasps that made me lightheaded.
Like a gory perverse halo, blood pooled behind his head. His eyes stared blankly at the ceiling.
I thought my knees gave out, but someone’s hands and arms caught me as blackness started to crowd the edges of my vision. My eyes were still glued to the screen, to the medic team that had finally arrived on site.