Chapter 44
Sean
“So,” Callie says, landing back in the passenger seat and hiking her jeans up her legs, hiding the wet patch that’s made itself known on her underwear. Jesus, I swear I could fuck her again right now. “It’s less than two weeks until Christmas break and you haven’t mentioned any plans yet.”
I haven’t mentioned any plans because I don’t have any, my parents are away for two months and Lois is spending Christmas with her new friends. It would be great if I could lie to Callie, I know what’s she’s going to say, she won’t want me spending Christmas alone but I want her to enjoy her break without worrying about me. The only problem is that this woman can read my thoughts without even looking at me and she’ll know immediately if I lie to her.
So instead I opt for a nonchalant shrug. “That’s because I don’t have any plans baby.” I try to avoid looking at her but her beautiful green eyes are like a magnet to me, so I reward myself with one peek and watch as her eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.
“What do you normally do for Christmas break?” She asks, shuffling back up on her chair and shaking out her bouncy curls.
“Well, normally I”d go to my parents’ house but they’re going to Italy for two months.”
There’s the eyebrow scrunch again, this time she’s staring right at me though, assessing me. “Did they not invite you?” She mutters, twisting in her seat to lean back against the door, her body facing me.
I shuffle uncomfortably, having wanted to keep this piece of information to myself. I should have known she’d prise it out of me, woman’s like a bloodhound.
“They did invite me…” I take another peek at her and her softened features make me want to curl up in a ball and die. I know what I”m about to say is going to turn her into a teary mess. “But I said no. I didn’t want to be away from you for that long.” My cheeks flush pink and I feel like a fucking child, how is it she has managed to make me blush twice now since we met?
Her warm palm lands on my thigh and she squeezes gently, sniffing hard and gulping down those tears I knew would spurt the minute I told her why I turned down the chance to spend two months in Italy.
She points her finger at me and twists her face into a warning glare. “Stop that now.”
“Stop what?” I titter at her attempt to be stern, her tiny frame barely filling the passenger seat of my car.
“Being cute,” she says, pursing her lips and trying to avoid joining me in bellowing laughter. “Will you go to Kyle’s for Christmas Day then? His Mum lives only a couple of miles from campus right?”
Fuck, this is the part of the conversation I was hoping to avoid. I shrug again, hoping to convince her I don’t care about spending Christmas alone. The truth is I do care, I don’t like being alone, especially not now I have Callie. All I want to do is be within a metre of her at all times, preferably touching her too. I know she loves me and she won’t want me to be alone at Christmas but I can’t let her ruin her own plans to spend time with her family. With her mum’s condition worsening it’s more important than ever that she goes home for Christmas and I”m not going to let her worry about me. I’m a big boy, I can look after myself. “Sean,” she says, nudging my shoulder and waiting for a response. God this woman will be the death of me one day.
“Nah I won’t go to Kyle’s, I’ll just stay at the house.” I murmur, keeping my expression as neutral as possible until Callie decides to choke on her own saliva and my eyes widen. I reach over to pat her back and she shrugs me off, sitting up straighter and lifting her eyebrows high on her forehead in horror.
“Alone?” She squeaks, “You”ll stay at the house alone?”
She looks absolutely horrified at the idea of me spending Christmas alone, which I fully expected. Back in the days when she used to pretend like she hated me — all the while wanting to dive into whatever I was offering her — she would have rather eaten broken glass than shown me this side of her. The side I fell in love with, the way she cares so deeply about the people she loves and the way she’d make herself unhappy before she saw me unhappy.
I simply nod and her eyebrows shoot even further up into her hairline. “I’ll be fine Cal, honestly.” I pat her thigh and turn on the engine which Callie proceeds to reach across me and turn straight back off again. As hard as I try, she’s not going to let me run away from this conversation. “Absolutely not!” Callie shrieks and I purse my lips to contain my blinding smile. I just love the way she cares about me so much, nobody ever has before her.
I shake my head and let a tiny smile slip out. “Baby, I”m a big boy, I’ll be ok on my own for a week.”
She rolls her eyes in my favourite way and folds her arms over her chest, pushing up her cleavage and giving me an eye full. “No fucking way Sean, you can’t do that, you’re coming home with me.”
Ok, she’s officially lost her damn mind.
“What about Coach? Do you not think he’ll figure out what’s going on between us if I stay at their house with you for an entire week?” She shrugs, any air of worry gone. “You know what? I don’t even think I care anymore. He can know about us, I don’t need to keep you a secret.” “Oh,” I smile, heart thumping a 100 miles per hour. “That’s how it is now?” I take her hand in mine and she scoffs but I can see the beam trying to break onto her freckled face.
“Yeah Taylor, that’s how it is. I’m proud to have you, I don’t need to hide it from anyone anymore.”
“Oh shit ok,” I smirk, smacking a kiss to her lips. “What about Lois?” Callie’s hand slides out of mine and she tuts, quietly muttering, “That’s different. And anyway, I think she’s pretty much figured it out herself after you came riding in like a knight in shining armour when I was having a panic attack.”
“Has she mentioned anything to you, asked you about us?”
“No,” she shrugs, “she’s been pretty good at avoiding any mention of you during training.”
“Does that bother you?” I say, running my thumb along her jaw and swallowing down the urge to suck her lips between mine again. She shakes her head, curls bouncing. “No, I understand why she’d feel uncomfortable, that’s why I wanted to avoid telling her.”
“She’ll get over it baby,” I tuck a curl behind her ear, “just give her a bit of time to come to terms with it.”
“Yeah, yeah I know, just kind of sucks that she’s not talking to me much at the moment.”
Note to self, tell Lois to stop being a bitch to my girl.
I feel like I’ve barely had chance to blink and it’s already Christmas break, the light frost covers the ground and I have to walk like my legs are made of wood so I don’t fall on my ass as I make my way to the car. My suitcase is trailing behind me, the door handles frozen as I yank them open, listening to the ice crack. I land in the driver’s seat with a shaky huff, I don’t know why I”m so nervous to spend Christmas break with Callie and her family. I mean, I”m very familiar with her dad — him being my coach and all — but I’ve never met her mum and I”m desperate to make a good impression on her. I have a taste of what Callie must have felt when she met my parents, makes sense now why she was trembling with nerves during our dinner with them. Also, the inevitable fact that Coach is going to find out that I’ve been seeing his daughter in secret for months, I”m totally uncertain of how he’s going to take it and I know Callie isn’t bothered about what he thinks anymore but I am. I’m by far his favourite guy on the team, that’s why he made me Captain and I don’t want that to change. However, in the same breath there’s nothing I wouldn’t give up to be with Callie, that includes my future hockey career.
I’m leaving at 7am this morning for what reason I don’t know, other than the fact that I”m nervous as hell and I need to get to Callie as quickly as possible. As soon as I”m with her I know my nerves will vanish into thin air, seeing her smile makes my heart melt into a puddle and all other emotions evaporate. Callie went to her parents’ house yesterday but I had to stay on campus for an award ceremony that the hockey team host at the end of each year. It was my first one and it’s normally something I”d revel in, going up on stage and being the centre of attention but my mind could focus on nothing but the fluttering in my chest when I thought about spending the entire week at Callie’s house.
The drive goes by way too quickly, although I”m almost certain I’ve been speeding the entire way, the country roads allowing me to press the accelerator to the ground and get to Callie as quick as I can. When I pull up on the side of the road — triple checking the address she sent me yesterday — I stare up at the house, the moss around the windows, the little picket fence and the thin layer of snow that blankets her front garden. This house looks like something out of a fairy tale, the chimney puffing out smoke and the thatched roof remaining me of the stories my mum read to me when I was a little boy. I know Callie’s family don’t have a lot of money but this place is breathtaking, like a story book house and I”m all of a sudden itching to get inside and sit by the open fire. I walk tentatively towards the front door, knowing already that I’ll have to duck to get inside, the door is no more than 6 foot high and there’s no way I won’t have to crane my neck to fit under the snowy canopy. My hand shakes a little as I tap lightly on the door, praying my girl is standing right behind it, waiting for me to arrive. I hear a muffled call and the padding of footsteps before the door swings open and the one face I’ve been dying to see is in front of me, beaming. Callie pants and smiles widely at me like I”m the best thing she’s ever seen and I”m sure my face is mirroring her’s right now. She reaches for my hand, pulling me inside and pinning my back against the front door. “Hi, I missed you.” She whispers, pressing her warm lips against my icy ones.
“I missed you too baby,” my eyes dart around the room. “but maybe we should ease your parents into the fact we’re together, rather than put on a live porno show the second I step foot through the door.” I chuckle, my heart beating hard and warming every crevice of my body now Callie is wrapped around me.
“Nobody is home yet, they went to the shop to get some more food for tomorrow.”
Oh, ok then.
I pick her up immediately, listing to her squeal with childlike joy and carrying her up the stairs over my shoulder, using my nose to locate her bedroom like she used to do to me when we were first together. I push open the squeaky door that screams ‘I”m Callie’s bedroom’ purely from the gymnastics posters that litter the walls and I drop her down onto the bed. I lay my body on top of her’s and breathe her in, her flowery scent mixed with the general christmassy aroma of cinnamon and spices fill the air around us and I feel strangely at home for a place I’ve never been to before.
“So,” Callie giggles, wriggling under my tickling grip on her waist. “Wanna fuck before they get back?”
“God yes,” I groan, dipping my hand into her leggings and pushing my fingers into her warmth.
Maybe this week will be better than I thought.
Callie
Christmas Eve has always been my favourite day of the year, I prefer it to the big day itself purely because I actually get to relax on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day is always pretty chaotic, cooking with my mum, getting the house ready for guests and throwing out the bundles of wrapping paper that end up strewn across the living room floor. Mum and I have always baked on Christmas Eve, she’d let me lick the bowl clean and I’d sit cross legged in front of the oven, keeping my eyes pinned on whatever was baking away in there. But this year is different of course, Sean got here yesterday but my parents didn’t arrive home until late and by that point Sean and I were already curled around each other under my duvet, eyelids drooping with sleep. This morning though is quite different, surprisingly my dad hasn’t even asked why Sean is here or why he slept in my bed last night. And right now the two of them are lounging back on our sofa, hockey game blaring out of the TV as they chat about things I don’t understand, using terms like lip lettuce which immediately makes me want to close my ears for fear of whatever the hell that means. I’d rather not know.
I’m in the kitchen with Mum, mixing a bowl of dried fruit into a blob of much too sniff dough, watching in awe as Sean and my dad tip beers to their lips in unison. The damp air around me is making my hair stick to the back of my neck, the strong smell of baked bread and cinnamon laced candles fill the house and I”m 100 percent here for it. The two men on the couch have me in a trance as they comfortably laugh together, Sean’s taut arm hanging over the back of the sofa like he’s lived here all his life. I’m totally mesmerised by the two of them until my mum comes behind me and gives my waist a loving squeeze.
“So that’s him then? The guy you were bawling over not too long ago?” My mum wiggles her eyebrows and I stifle a laugh, all the while amazed that she can decipher every thought that passes through my brain. I break my fixed gaze from where it rests on Sean and turn towards my mum. “How do you always do that?”
She pats the lump of dough on the counter, watching it wobble. “Mother’s intuition baby, now spill, I want to know everything.”
I heave a sigh, one filled with equal parts happiness and exhaustion from fighting against the ever growing love I have for this man. “Yeah he’s just…” I turn my head back to look at Sean, his dimples deepening as he laughs at something my dad says. “He’s everything Mum.”
Her hand lands on my shoulder as I tear my eyes away from Sean again. “I can tell honey, I’ve never seen you so in love before.”
“Woah, I don’t know if I”m quite there yet Mum,” I hold my hands up, watching her sly smile as she kneads the dough roughly, squashing it against the counter.
Obviously I am there, I”m so fucking there and have been for a while now. A quiet laugh escapes her and she shakes her head. “Oh honey, you’re so there.” She lifts the huge blob of dough from the counter and drops it into a mixing bowl with a strained huff. “And he is too, trust me.” “How can you tell?” I say, taking another peek over my shoulder and immediately catching Sean’s gaze on me. His eyes are soft, warm and comforting, watching me like I”m the only person in the room. Mum shrugs and shuffles past me, bowl of heavy dough in hand. “It’s so obvious Callie, just the way he watches you it’s…”
“How does he watch me?” My eyes are still trapped by Sean’s, like he can hear every word of our conversation his mouth turns up into a smile that makes my chest thump.
“Like he’s waiting to take a bullet for you.” Mum whispers, planting a kiss on my cheek and leaving the kitchen, oven whirring along with my mind as I process what she just said. I’m not stupid, I know how Sean feels about me, he makes it abundantly clear in his words and his actions. But that part of me that always doubts whether I”m good enough for people is still attempting to fight it’s way through the strong wall of self worth I’ve built since being with Sean. The way his eyes are still locked on mine now only confirms what my mum just said, he gestures with his head for me to join him on the couch, shit eating grin still blazing a fire in my chest as I land in the spot next to him. It takes my dad less than a second to pounce, his demeanour changing when he spots Sean’s arm lift over my head and come to rest across my shoulders, hauling me into his side.
His face darkens slightly, stress lines on his forehead deepening. “So, shall we have this conversation now or after dinner?”
My words get stuck in my throat, do I just admit it straight away and deal with his anger or try to deny everything and tell him Sean and I are just friends? Luckily for me I don’t have to decide, Sean sits up straight, pulling me up with him.
“Look Coach, I”m sorry we kept this from you, we should have told you sooner but Callie was worried about your reaction. She tries so god damn hard to please you and all she wants is for you to be proud of her.” He takes a deep breath, his eyes flitting to me for a second. “But we are together, and that’s not going to change.”
Wow, I think he took my breath away with that speech. Watching him take control like that and stand up to my dad is so sexy, I just want to ride him like a horse. My dad sits taller too and my stomach lurks at the possibility of a full blown argument between the two most important men in my life. “Well, I can’t say I”m not disappointed that you didn’t tell me sooner…” his eyes land on me and I shrink into Sean’s side a little. “But I understand why you kept it from me.”
Ok, what?
My eyes shoot up to my dad’s, his ageing features softening under my wide eyed stare. “Really?” I croak and he nods with a small smile. “Wow, ok, well…thanks.”
“Callie, you don’t need to be worried about telling me things, I won’t ever stop you from being with someone that you love.” Sean and I tense at the same time, the ‘L’ word rearing it’s head again and making us both shift uncomfortably. “I need you to know too Cal,” my dad continues, not sensing the tension thickening around us after he threw out the word love like it was nothing. “I am incredibly proud of you.”
Jesus Christ my heart can’t take all this up and down, one minute it’s beating at a normal rhythm, then it comes to a complete stop hearing the word love fall off my dad’s lips so casually and now it’s beating at an unnaturally fast pace. I don’t think my dad has ever uttered the words, ‘I”m proud of you.’ Since the moment I was born he’s always been pretty hard on me, expecting results and accomplishments to keep himself feeling fulfilled as a father. But those words are pretty much all I’ve wanted to hear from him my whole life, the weight that lifts itself from my shoulders hearing it leaves me feeling like I might float away.
The tears prick against my eyes, stinging and I quickly sniff them away, swallowing them down. “Thanks Dad, that means a lot to me.” I squeak as Sean’s arm tightens around my middle, him always reading my every emotion like a book.
Dad slaps his hands down on the arms of his chair and comes to a standing position. “Right, enough of this soppy shit, let’s eat.”