Chapter 5
Jasmine
Two days later
My brother came up to the hospital to take me to get something to eat. I tried telling him that I had already eaten something from the cafeteria downstairs, but he knew I was lying, and I guess today he finally got tired of hearing it.
After I threw up yesterday, everybody started assuming I was sick because I wasn’t eating, not knowing I had a baby on the way.
Half the time, I was running back and forth between RJ’s room and the restroom, throwing up until my stomach hurt and my throat burned.
Some mornings I’d wake up nauseous before my feet even touched the floor. Other times, the smell of hospital food rolling through the hallways would have me covering my mouth, trying not to throw up right there beside Rj’s bed.
My mama kept trying to force crackers, soup, and ginger ale on me while everybody else begged me to eat something, but most days, the thought of chewing alone made my stomach turn.
And what made it worse was sitting there watching RJ connected to that ventilator while another baby was growing inside of me at the same time.
One life felt like it was slipping away while another one was beginning, and mentally, that shit was tearing me in half, taking away any joy I could have about another baby.
I didn’t feel sick, not one time, when I was with Amir last night.
Even with him doing that unhinged ass robbery for clothes, I still felt comfortable and at ease being next to him.
If only he could be around me at every moment of the day, maybe my body would let me eat and not feel so broken down.
I know that was wishful thinking, however.
I still hadn’t gotten comfortable enough to even tell him that I was pregnant with his child.
I climbed into Crew’s car, and he pulled off toward Linden’s Fried Chicken, one of our favorite spots growing up because it sat on the route from school to home.
Back then, Mama used to give Crew enough allowance to make sure both of us ate before we got home, and almost every time we’d stop there for popcorn chicken and fries before walking the rest of the way home together.
The ride with Crew to get food this morning was quiet, too quiet, and he and I barely said anything at all, just letting the music play low in the background while he drove through traffic with one hand resting on the wheel.
I don’t think I had ever heard my brother this quiet a day in my life, and I could tell something was still wrong between us. Yeah he felt bad for me, but I was sure he was also upset about everything else that happened too.
“Crew.”
He glanced over at me briefly.
“Jas, don’t say you're not hungry because I know you are. We are about to both get something to eat, so don’t start that shit. I’ll shove a piece of chicken down your throat at this point. I’m tired of playing with your ass.”
“That’s not what I was going to say, Crew. I was about to say that I know how you feel about the Hov and me situation, and I’m sorry.”
“Sorry about what, Jas? It's over with.”
“I’m sorry about the way everything came out. I promise you, we never meant to hurt you.”
I could see the jaw muscles in his cheeks start to retract.
“Jas, it happened, but it’s over with now.
I don’t want to talk about that shit anymore,” he muttered calmly, though I could tell by his expression it still bothered him deep down.
I was scared to say something else, even though my mind was still running a million miles per hour.
Crew seemed like he also had something on his mind.
I could tell by the way he kept adjusting himself in his seat while driving until he finally looked over towards me.
“When are y’all going to find out if Rj is his son? I know the kind of man Hov is, and though we haven’t discussed it since the hospital, I’m sure he wants to know. I’m sure Ciara wants to know, too.”
“I don’t know Crewshon. I guess I've just been so worried about whether RJ is going to make it or not that finding out who his father is hasn’t crossed my mind.”
“Well, I’m sure it matters to them regardless. Actually, fuck Reggie, but Hov needs to know if his son is laying in a hospital on a ventilator.”
This conversation was making me feel uncomfortable because I knew that everything Crew was saying was true.
“And oh yeah, since we're on the subject of the first homeless looking ass nigga with a house,” Crew continued.
“Who did you send to burn down his mama spot? I know I didn’t do it, and I didn’t give orders for it to be done. So who pulling strings for you.”
By the way Crew was staring at me, I could tell that he already had an answer in his head. He just wanted me to confirm it.
“I’m sure it was Amir who did it,” I finally muttered.
“Figured that much. So, you still fuckin with that nigga too?”
“Don’t say ‘too’ like I am fucking with him and Hov at the same time.”
“Oh, I know you're not fucking with Hov no more. You can’t pry that nigga away from his wife,” he laughed.
“Well, for your information, I wouldn’t fuck with Hov anymore if he wanted to because I actually respect his marriage. Ciara, you, or anyone else does not have to worry about that.” I rolled my eyes.
“I’m not fucking Amir anymore either. At least not in the way we were seeing each other before. Just because he burned Reggie’s spot down doesn’t mean anything. I’m sure he did it because he wanted to, and not because he and I are together. I’ve seen over time that he may be crazier than you.”
“Yeah, well that sounds about right for that nigga.”
He thought for a second.
“You know, too bad that ship sailed with you too, because he's a good nigga. I trust him with my life these days. He’s proved time and time again that I can.”
“Yeah, he is a good dude, but I don’t understand why the ship has technically sailed. It’s not like I cheated on him with Hov or anything.”
I crossed my arms and shook my head slowly.
“I’m not saying it’s because of that situation. I just know that he has been with a female a lot lately, and I’m thinking maybe they are trying to build something.”
“A female?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it that therapist bitch.”
“I don’t know who the therapist bitch is. All I know is that he’s been telling me shit about being with ol girl and staying at her crib and her being at his place too. I also heard she was having a baby.”
My neck snapped toward him.
“She's pregnant?”
“That’s what I heard.”
“Damn, that bitch is pregnant and sick?” I turned my nose up.
“Sick? That bitch got aids? Wait, you got aids too, then?”
“No dummy, I didn’t say she had aids. I was there when she told him she has lupus.”
“Oh damn, that’s tough,” Crew replied, rubbing his chin hair.
“That makes sense, though.”
“What does?”
“Why he spends so much time with her and runs back to her every time she calls. Shit, if Pernelle was pregnant and had a sickness like that, I’d probably be the same fucking way about her.”
The way he tightened his grip on the steering wheel let me know even imagining Pernelle sick made him uncomfortable.
“But anyway, I don’t know what to say about that whole situation. Shorty got leverage on his ass. But just because you can’t have Amir, or Hov, doesn’t mean you need to go find another dumb ass nigga to deal with in the future and have another baby by.”
“No shit, Crew. Fuck niggas right now and having their babies too.” I replied, shaking my head while laughing lightly at the irony of my own words.
You would think that I learned my lesson about keeping children from men after all this mess, but truthfully, all I wanted right now is peace.
I don't have energy for baby daddy drama from three different men at this point.
Plus, learning that Amir was about to have another kid by another woman just made this shit even messier than it already was.
When Crew’s phone started ringing through the speakers, he held a finger up toward me, signaling for me to be quiet while he hit accept on the call from Princeton.
“Talk to me.”
“Yo, yo, where you at, big bro?”
“Riding over here in Brooklyn. Taking my sister to Royal Chicken. What’s poppin’?”
“Shit, I got something important to tell you.”
Crew sighed.
“On a scale from one to ten, how important is it, nigga?”
“I think it is at like a ten to be honest. But just get back with me when you can talk.”
“If it is a ten, I can right now. Where you at?”
“Castle Hill.”
“Aight. Stay put, I’m on my way.”
He hung up before glancing over at me.
“I’m still going to take you to get your chicken, but I have to go handle this shit first.”
“Crew, really. I need to get back to Rj.”
“He will be alright for a minute, Jas. The hospital has your number and mine, and your ass needs to get some fresh air. You straight up smelling sterilized and you need to be asking to stop by the beauty supply store to get a comb to rake that fuckin ponytail while we out. You look like a squirrel from behind,” Crew replied.
I knew that ass hole was still there.
I pushed him upside his head and this was the most normal he and I had been in a minute.
“Okay, whatever, Crew. Just hurry up and handle this shit so I can get this chicken and a comb and get back to the hospital,” I muttered before crossing my arms and sinking back into the seat.
Crew drove us over to the projects, where Princeton was already outside sitting on his bike talking to a few dudes near the sidewalk.
The second he spotted Crew’s car, his whole face lit up, and he threw his head back.
“What up, nigga?” he yelled while walking over to the car.
Princeton ducked his head into my window first, smiling with his little, cute self.
“Hey Jasmine.”
“Hi, Princeton.”
“I hope you've been doing better, gorgeous. My chicken head ass sister been telling my mama about your son, and I've been hearing everything.”
“Watch your mouth about wifey, lil nigga.” Crew spoke up, but Princeton waved him off.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know she's your wife, but she was a chicken head way before that.” Crew laughed.