Chapter 14 #2
Caught off guard by Shaw’s sincerity, Hudson just nodded. He realized he didn’t worry about his family’s reaction at all. If only Shaw could know what that was like too.
A sudden need to be closer to him washed over Hudson. He stretched his leg so his calf rested against Shaw’s. When Shaw didn’t respond, Hudson leaned in closer, forcing their thighs to touch.
Shaw kept his eyes on the fire, but Hudson clocked him shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
Shaw got up abruptly. “We should get some sleep. Long day tomorrow." But he didn't move toward the cots. He stayed there, looking at Hudson with an expression that was becoming familiar. Restraint mixed with want, waiting for Hudson to make the call.
"Or," Hudson said, standing too. "We could not sleep yet."
Shaw's eyes darkened. "No?"
“No.” Hudson took a step toward him. They were so close now that he breathed in Shaw’s exhale.
“Do you still want me?” There was an obvious vulnerability in Shaw’s voice that made the questions sting.
“Yes,” Hudson whispered. “I want you.” He finally put his hands on Shaw’s neck, holding him in place. Then he grazed his lips over Shaw’s, making him moan into his mouth. His tongue darted out, hot and insistent against Hudson’s, teeth catching his lip.
They stumbled toward the cots, kissing desperately, shedding layers as they moved.
The cabin was warm from the stove but the air still carried the cold of the mountains. Shaw's hands were chilled when they found Hudson's bare skin.
Shaw pushed him down and stood by the foot of the cot watching him. His eyes raked over Hudson’s naked body and Hudson squirmed beneath the stare.
They’d hooked up before—in storage rooms and dark corners, rushed and half-dressed, always listening for footsteps. But here there was no timeline, nowhere else to be. Shaw seemed to register that at the same moment Hudson did, because he slowed down. Drank him in.
Shaw crawled on top of him. His mouth moved down Hudson’s chest, lips dragging over his collarbone. His tongue traced the line of his sternum, unhurried in a way that made Hudson’s fingers curl into the blanket.
When Shaw’s teeth scraped over his left nipple, Hudson’s back bowed off the cot. A sound escaped him that he'd be embarrassed about later.
"Mhm—"
Shaw did it again. Then his mouth closed over it, tongue circling, sucking, and Hudson’s hand pushed into his hair.
By the time Shaw's hand slid lower and wrapped around his cock, Hudson's coordination went out the window. He reached for Shaw’s dick but Shaw caught his wrist without looking up.
"Let me," he murmured, his breath warm against Hudson’s skin.
Hudson wasn't going to argue with that.
Warm fingers traced lower—past Hudson’s balls, brushing over his hole. Hudson froze.
Shaw stilled too. "This okay?"
"Yeah." Hudson's voice came out wrecked. "Don't stop."
Shaw didn’t. His finger circled the sensitive spot slowly, the sensation almost too much to bear. Hudson’s hips moved without his permission. His throat produced sounds he’d never made before and he couldn’t bring himself to care.
Shaw worked him like that for a while, before easing a finger into him. His other hand still stroked Hudson’s cock in a slow, building rhythm. The stretch and the friction together made Hudson’s vision blur. When Shaw pressed deeper and curled—
“Fuck—” Hudson breathed. “Right there—”
"Good?" Shaw murmured against his neck.
"Yeah. Jesus. Really good." He was literally panting the words.
Shaw smiled against his skin.
"Shaw—" Hudson’s hand gripped his shoulder. "I want more. I need you to—"
"I know," Shaw croaked. "But I don't have a condom."
Hudson blinked at the ceiling, trying to reassemble his thoughts. "Are you serious?"
"Yes. Why would I bring a condom here?"
"Right. Are you clean?"
Shaw eyed him incredulously. "Hale—"
"I'm clean. I've been tested." His pulse was hammering. "Are you?"
"I get tested regularly." Shaw's voice was tight. "But that's not the point.”
"Then what’s the point?" Hudson moved closer, refusing to let this end here. "We're both clean. We both want this." His eyes dropped to Shaw’s mouth, then back up. "Please."
He didn’t even recognize his own voice. He never begged. But he had also never wanted anything this much. Despite the panic and uncertainty.
Shaw stared at him, dumbfounded. Then he reached for his pack. He pulled out a small jar. "Vaseline. It's not ideal but it'll work."
Hudson stared at it. "You just... carry that around?"
"For blisters. Chafing." Shaw's mouth curved slightly. "It's practical."
"Practical. Sure." Hudson's heart was going at about twice its normal rate.
Shaw coated his fingers without breaking eye contact, set the jar aside and put a hand on Hudson’s chest. "Lie down.”
He did as he was told. A little too eager, probably.
Shaw’s mouth was back on Hudson’s as his fingers slowly opened him up.
When Hudson stopped tensing and started pushing back, Shaw settled between Hudson’s legs.
He withdrew his fingers and put one hand under Hudson’s ass, lifting him up.
After applying a generous amount of vaseline, Shaw aligned himself against him and pushed in lightly.
Hudson's whole body locked up. Pain and pleasure tangled together and he couldn’t tell which was which. He didn’t care.
“Are you okay?” Shaw asked in a strangled voice.
Hudson nodded and clamped his mouth shut, trying to contain a sound that was a mixture of a yelp and a moan. The pressure was enormous, so much bigger than Shaw’s fingers.
Shaw eased in slowly, watching Hudson's face the whole time.
"Breathe," Shaw said through gritted teeth.
Hudson breathed, and Shaw kept going. When he was all the way in, they both went completely still.
A muscle worked in Shaw's jaw. His arms shook slightly with the effort of holding back.
Hudson felt that more than anything else. Shaw, unraveling.
He had no words for it.
When Shaw set a rhythm, Hudson gripped his shoulders and let go. Shaw’s breath came ragged against his neck, low grunts escaping with every thrust. Uncontrolled.
Hudson pulled him closer, wanting more, wanting Shaw as undone as he felt.
"Hale—" Shaw's rhythm stuttered. "You feel—"
Hudson kissed him to shut him up, mostly because he didn't think he could handle Shaw finishing that sentence.
Shaw picked up the pace, thrusting so hard the cot creaked underneath them. When his hand found Hudson’s cock again, he couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Ah, fuck— I’m gonna—” He came, spilling all over his chest, and Shaw followed seconds later. He pressed his face hard into Hudson's neck, slick with sweat, while Hudson felt him shudder through it.
Neither of them moved. Shaw's heartbeat pounded against his chest, slowing gradually alongside his own.
Shaw pulled back, his face stripped of all control. "You okay?" he asked.
Hudson laughed shakily. "Yeah. I'm okay."
"Not hurt?"
"No. That was—" Hudson stopped, trying to find words for what he felt. "Yeah. That was pretty fucking amazing."
Relief crossed Shaw's face. "Yeah? Good."
They lay there, side by side, cramped together on the cot. Shaw was on his side, one hand resting on Hudson’s chest, a finger tracing lazy circles in the hair there.
The cabin was warm around them, the fire crackling in the stove. Hudson stared at the ceiling for a beat, then turned his head toward Shaw.
"I didn't mean it," he said. "What I said in the storage room."
Shaw’s finder stilled for a beat. "I know." Then he sat up slowly. “We should clean up.”
Hudson lay still. He watched Shaw move around the small cabin completely comfortable, picking up clothes and folding them neatly.
“You going to help or just lie there?” Shaw asked without turning around.
“Just lie here,” Hudson said. “Definitely just lie here.”
Shaw snorted.
They did their best with limited supplies, neither of them quite meeting the other’s eyes. Hudson winced when he moved, feeling the after effects, but it wasn't bad. A reminder of what they'd done.
Shaw leaned down and kissed him, slow, his mouth soft, one hand bracing against the cot beside Hudson’s head. Hudson kissed him back.
“I’m going to take the other one,” Shaw said.
“Sure.”
Shaw moved to the other cot and pulled on a blanket. The fire in the stove crackled low, shadows flickering across the wooden walls, but it suddenly felt colder. Wind rattled the shutters.
Hudson’s mind started to catch up. "Fuck," he said into the almost darkness.
"You regret it?" Shaw's voice came out too even.
"What? No." Hudson turned his head toward him. "I just... I never imagined I'd do that. Like, ever. I need a second to wrap my head around it."
Shaw was so quiet that Hudson wondered if he'd said the wrong thing. Then, "Yeah, I get that." Hudson heard him shift on his cot. "Take all the time you need."
"Hey," he said, feeling Shaw needed to hear it again. "I don't regret it. Not for a second."
Shaw exhaled, long and slow.
"Do you?" The silence stretched and Hudson held his breath. “Because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna want to do that again, and it'd be really awkward if you hated it."
Shaw's laugh was genuine. "I didn't hate it."
“’Didn’t hate it’. That's basically a five-star review coming from you.”
Shaw snorted. "Goodnight, Hale."