Prologue #2
For a moment or two we both just stand here—me on the trail, him watching and waiting from the trees while I fight to hang on to the last of my pride because I’d rather eat dirt than apologize to him right now.
“Fine.” Chin tipped up, I let out another irritated huff.
“I don’t really hate you, Riggs—but I sure as hell don’t like you right now either. ”
“Now, was that so hard?” Riggs sounds off behind me. Whirling around, I practically run into him, those stupid worms practically wriggling in my nostrils over how close he is.
Cheeks so hot I can almost hear them sizzle, I glare up at him. “Are you done making fun of me yet?”
My question and obvious irritation sets off another chuckle. “I’m not sure—are you done being a brat?”
“You—” Frustration almost gets the better of me which I’m sure was his intention but, by some miracle, I’m able to reel myself in. “Yes.” I give him a stiff nod. “I’m done being a brat.”
The corner of his mouth jerks up in a wry smile. “Liar.” Before I can take exception to having my integrity questioned, Riggs reaches for my hand. Closing his fingers around mine, he gives it a tug, pulling me down the trail. “Come on, Gem—let’s get you home.
It’s been a while now and Riggs is still holding my hand.
Our fingers aren’t linked. Nope, Riggs has his hand squeezed around mine, so it’s more like a frazzled mom pulling her bull-headed toddler down the cereal aisle at the grocery store and less like a romantic, midnight walk through the woods, but I don’t care and neither do the worms in my stomach.
They’re wriggling so hard I can feel them in my toes.
“I’m sorry.” It comes out disgruntled and sullen and nowhere near sincere because I’m not really sorry. I just don’t like the quiet.
“What?” Because he knows me well enough to know that the s-word is something I rarely say out loud, Riggs looks down at me, brow furrowed like he’s suddenly sure it’s not me he’s dragging through the woods. “Are you feelin’ okay?”
Worms be damned, I jerk my hand out of his grip, my own brow folding in on itself with a mixture of mortification and prideful stupidity. “I’m fine.”
“You sure?” Instead of reaching for my hand again, Riggs stuffs his in his pockets on a wry chuckle. “Because I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say the word sorry in your whole life.”
He would know.
I can’t remember a single day of my life without Riggs Wheeler in it.
He’s always been there, in the forefront of my life, running alongside my brother.
Always up ahead, the two of them always just out of reach.
If not for Reese constantly being wedged between the two of them, I’d think I get left behind because I’m a girl but so is she, so I know that’s not it.
“I say I’m sorry when I have something to be sorry for,” I tell him. It’s a lie. I’d rather eat dirt than apologize.
“Yeah?” Riggs looks down at me, one eyebrow slightly higher than the other. “Tell that to Miss June.”
“That wasn’t my fault.” Last week, I threw a rock through Miss June’s kitchen window.
It was an accident. I didn’t mean to throw it through her window—I was aiming for Sera Montgomery’s head—but that didn’t matter.
It was something I should’ve said sorry for and I meant to.
I tried, but when it came time to say the words out loud, they were there, right on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn’t seem to push them out of my mouth.
So, I crossed my arms over my chest and told Miss June that if she wanted an apology, she’d have to get it from Sera since it was her fault for being such an asshole in the first place.
Instead of letting me off with just sweeping up the glass or maybe making me pay to replace it, Miss June called Dent and the two of them decided that I’d be washing dishes in her restaurant for the entire summer as punishment and payment for being so rash and stubborn.
“All Sera did was duck,” Riggs reasons while giving me a head shake. “You’re the one who threw the rock, Gem.”
“Because she called me a creeker,” I blurt out.
I still can’t believe it, even though I live across the river in Clearwater with my mother so I guess that’s what I am.
“And that was after Cam tripped Em while we were running the mile in PE—so, the way I see it, the only thing I’m guilty of is bad aim. ”
When I mention his younger sister, Riggs’ expression hardens slightly. “Cam did what?”
Shit.
“Nothing.” Because I’m a lot of things but a snitch isn’t one of them, I give Riggs a stubborn head shake. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
My obstinate refusal stops him, mid-stride. “It does matter,” Riggs insists. When I don’t answer him, he pulls his hands from his pockets to drop them onto my shoulders. Using his grip to turn me toward him on the trail, he scowls down at me. “Is Cam bullying you?”
“No.” I say it too fast. Too forcefully, marking it as a lie before I can drag it back in.
“You’re friends,” he says, like maybe I forgot. “You’re all friends—you, Sera, Emily, and Cam. Have been since Kindergarten.”
Reaching up, I try to shove his hands off my shoulders but he doesn’t let me. “That was before.” Glaring up at him, I try to push his hands away again but they don’t move an inch. “We’re not anymore.”
“Before what?” When I don’t answer him, Riggs tightens his grip, making it obvious he isn’t going to let me or the subject go until I answer him. “Before what?”
“Before Cade kissed Em,” I blurt out, giving his hands a final, frustrated shove. This time he lets me go, his hands falling to his sides where they hit his thighs with muted thwap.
“What?” He says it like he’s sure he misunderstood me somehow. “Cade Montgomery kissed Em? Emily Ackerman?”
“Yes.” Even though I want to bite my own tongue off for betraying Em’s confidence, I reason that Cameron already knows and that’s why she’s being so awful, so the harm has already been done. “Last week. Cam’s got a crush on him so when Em told us that Cade kissed her, she got mad.”
“She’s just a kid,” Still stuck on Cade kissed Em, Riggs shakes his head, his voice thick with disgust, the sound of it twisting my stomach into knots. “Why in the hell would Cade?—”
“They’re practically the same age,” I say, my tone laced with indignation because if Emily is just a kid then that means so am I.
“Em is sixteen. Cade is seventeen—same age as you. I’ll be sixteen in two weeks.
We’ll be juniors in the fall—in case you hadn’t noticed, you’re barely more than a year older than me. ”
Thirteen months.
Riggs is thirteen months older than me—almost to the day.
For a moment, all Riggs does is stare down at me like he’s never seen me before in his life because no—he hadn’t noticed. “Doesn’t matter.” Shaking his head, he looks like he might actually throw up. “Cade shouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have?—”
“Why?” I practically shout it at him, my voice lifting above the quiet rush of the river running alongside us. “Why shouldn’t Cade kiss Emily if he wants to?”
“Gem.” He shakes his head, mouth in a thin, hard line. “You don’t?—”
“We’re not babies anymore, Riggs.” Looking up at him, I feel my heart flutter in my chest because we’re not talking about Cade and Emily anymore and we both know it. “I’m not a baby anymore—not any more than you are.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Unease creeps into his tone while he looks at me like I’m some weird and unrecognizable creature that’s sidled up to him on the trail. “What are you getting at?”
“You know.” Still fluttering, my heart starts to pound in my chest, the hard, uneven cadence of it enough to send me swaying on my feet. “You know what I’m getting at.”
Swallowing so hard I can see the scrape of his Adam’s apple along the inside of his throat, Riggs looks away like he suddenly can’t stand the sight of me. “You want me to kiss you.” He sounds angry when he says it. Angry at me like everything is ruined now and it’s all my fault.
“Would it be so bad if I said yes?”
My answer jerks his gaze back to mine. Instead of answering me, he just stares at me with that who the hell are you? look plastered across his face, at war with something that looks very close to panic until I can’t stand it anymore.
“Don’t just stand there,” I say, those stupid worms squirming and wiggling their way into my fluttering heart. “Say something.”
“I…” Mouth working, Riggs just keeps staring at me. “I don’t—I mean, I never…”
“You never what? Go on—say it.” I know what he’s trying to say.
What he’s trying to tell me. Call me a glutton for punishment but I want to hear him say it.
That he doesn’t look at me that way. That I’m just Beck’s little sister.
That’s all I’ll ever be to him and I’ll never be anything else.
Never be anything more. “You never what?”
Finally giving up, Riggs manages another hard swallow before he takes a step back and shakes his head.
“Come on, Gem,” he says, quietly refusing to acknowledge the ticking time bomb I just dropped in the space between us.
“Let’s get you home.” This time when he says it, Riggs doesn’t reach for my hand.
He just starts walking, leaving me to trail after him in silence, alone.