Chapter 5
RIGGS
Then
Ishould’ve stayed out of it.
Kept my mouth shut. Kept walking while they bickered and fought like they always do. Should’ve just let them kill each other but listening to Beck get after her—calling Gem names and telling her what a nuisance she is—got to me.
Truth be told, it always get to me.
The two of them fight like it’s all they know how to do, bickering and arguing over everything from who’s turn it is to feed the cat after school, to who gets the last strawberry biscuit at breakfast.
Doesn’t matter.
If Beck says up, Gem says down.
If Gem says left, Beck says right.
Every time they start, I tell myself to mind my own business.
She’s not my sister. She’s not really my friend.
Not my problem but then it gets to the point where I want to punch Beck in the mouth, just to shut him up and I have to do something.
Usually, I just leave. Mumble something about seeing him later before hauling ass out the door so I don’t knock his ass out for being such a dick to his sister all the time.
This time it was different.
I couldn’t just leave.
Not without taking her with me.
So that’s what I did.
I left and took Gem with me.
I made the offer to walk her home because it was the right thing to do.
It’s dark as fuck out here and pest or not, she shouldn’t be running around in the woods alone.
Besides, it’s my fault she got this far in the first place.
Beck was too busy making eyes at Reese—a recent development that grosses me out, almost as much as it makes sense—to notice when Gem slipped off the back porch, across the yard and through the trees, sticking to the shadows while she trailed us down to the narrow path that runs alongside the river.
Yeah, he was too caught up in Reese and wondering if I noticed the two of them holding hands to catch onto the fact that his little sister was following us, but I wasn’t.
I knew she was there.
Knew she was behind us the entire time and I didn’t say anything—partly because I wanted to see just how long it would take Beck to notice her, but mainly because having Gemma around doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it bothers him.
Truthfully, it doesn’t bother me at all.
So, when Beck finally pulled his head out of Reese’s ass and saw her, it was my fault that Gem got so far away from home before he started trying to shoo her away like a stray dog.
That’s why I made the offer to walk her home.
I’m the reason she’s out here, so that makes getting Gem home safely my responsibility.
That’s what I told myself and I believed it.
Would’ve kept on believing it, if not for Gem going and messing everything up with one, simple question.
Would it be so bad if I said yes?
Because now, kissing Gemma is all I can think about.
She’s fifteen, you fucking pervert—and your best friend’s little sister. That means she might as well be your little sister too.
I’ve known Gemma all my life. We all used to play mudpies and tetherball together in their backyard before Beck decided she was a pest and banished her.
I gave her a piggyback ride home from her dishwashing duty at June’s yesterday because the sole came off her tennis shoe and the ground was too hot for her to walk barefooted.
I know that she loves ladybugs and for some weird, inexplicable reason, she’s almost as scared of butterflies as she is of the dark.
If butterflies were nocturnal creatures, she’d probably never see a sunrise.
I know that she hates living in Clearwater and that calling her a creeker was about the lowest, most hurtful thing Sera Montgomery could’ve done to her.
I know that she loves Tim Curry and that she’s firmly team pineapple when it comes to pizza.
I know that Patsy Cline songs make her cry, and I’ve never once thought of her as my little sister.
Yeah—because you’re a sick, weirdo, perverted creep, remember?
And now she won’t talk to me.
Won’t even look at me because?—
“You got stuck walking me home.”
The sound of her voice pulls my gaze down to find her looking at me, the sight of her face aimed up at mine drops my stomach to my feet, a split second before my heart bounces up into my throat.
Shit.
“What?”
“That’s what I’m sorry for,” she says, her brow puckering slightly like she thinks there might be something wrong with me. She doesn’t have to wonder. There’s definitely something wrong with me. “I’m sorry you got stuck walking me home.”
“Oh.” Giving her a frown of my own, I look away, just to give myself a chance to breath.
This is relief I’m feeling. I’m relieved that she’s willing to allow whatever just happened between us to unhappen.
Gem’s willing to pretend she never asked me to kiss her and while I didn’t actually do it, she’s also willing to pretend that I didn’t tell her no, either. “It’s not a big deal.”
“It is,” she insists. “Dumb, little Tagalong messed up everyone’s plans—as usual. I just wanted to know where you guys sneak off to.”
“You didn’t mess anything up.” Shooting her a quick, wry smile, I shrug.
“Honestly, I wasn’t really in the mood to hang out with them anyway.
” Spotting the break in the trees that we use to get on and off the trail, I move ahead of her so I can hold the elm branches that guard the entrance up high enough for her to pass through.
It’s a wasted effort. The top of Gem’s head doesn’t even reach my armpit.
She’d walk under them without my help, with room to spare.
“Because they’re kissing?”
“What?” This time when I say it, the word comes out panicked and high-pitched. Like she zapped me with it.
“Beck and Reese,” Gem says, stepping off the trail to walk her way toward me. “They’re kissing.” The whites of her eyes flash at me in the moonlight while she rolls them at me. “You don’t have to lie about it. It’s obvious—if they’re not kissing, they sure as hell?—”
“Jesus—can you quit saying that?” I bark it at her, suddenly irritated beyond reason.
“Saying what?” Stopping just under the branches I’m holding up for her, Gemma looks up at me and grins. “Kissing?”
She’s teasing me.
Seriously?
I’m having a crisis of conscience and this little shit is teasing me.
“It’s not funny,” I tell her, my grip tightening on the branches I’m holding up over her head.
“Mmm…” Still looking up at me, Gemma cocks her head, and squints, the corners of her mouth turning down just a bit while she nods. “It’s a little funny,” she says before she passes under the branches to step into her grandfather’s backyard.
Following after her, I drop the branches behind me while my stomach churns around the clump of lumpy knots that have been swimming in it since she said it.
Would it be so bad if I said yes?
“Nothing about this is even a little bit fuckin’ funny, Gem,” I insist while I follow her up the green, rolling hill that slopes from her grandfather’s yard to the banks of the Barrett. “You asked me to kiss you.”
At the top of the hill, Gemma turns on her heel to look down at me, hands stacked on her hips. “No I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did,” I hiss up at her, well aware that my voice carries and the last thing I want or need is for her grandfather to wake up and catch us out here, alone.
Still stalking my way up the hill, I reach the top.
Stopping in front of her, I stand over her and glare.
“Don’t try to bullshit me—you know exactly what you did. ”
“You’re right,” she says, giving me a little shrug. “I know exactly what I did—I didn’t ask you to kiss me, Riggs. I just said that I wanted you to.” She drops her hands from her hips and looks up at me like I’m the crazy one. “Big deal.”
“Big deal?” I repeat it back to her like I’m not sure I heard her correctly. “Big deal? It is a big deal. It’s giant fuckin’ deal, Gem.”
“Only because you’re freaking out about it,” she tells me, her brow furrowed with frustration.
“You’re making it this huge thing when all I wanted was—” Stopping herself, mid-explanation, Gemma shakes her head.
“Never mind. The only reason I even brought it up was because you started to get weird when I told you about Cade and Emily and?—”
“What did you want, Gem?” It’s the wrong question. The one question I shouldn’t be asking because I know what she wants, just like I know that even letting myself think about it makes me a weird, perverted creep.
Why? You turned seventeen less than a month ago. She’ll be sixteen in a few weeks. There’s more of an age difference between Beck and you than there is between the two of you. She’s right—it’s only weird because you’re making it weird.
Doesn’t matter.
She’s still Beck’s little sister.
“I just wanted to know what it was like.” Gemma gives me another shrug while her gaze skitters away from mine.
“Listening to Em talk about Cade…” She flicks her gaze up to my face for a second before it skitters away again, her cheeks stained red.
“I just wanted to know what it felt like to be kissed—that’s all. ”
I let it sink in. The fact that Gemma’s never been kissed before and she wants me to be the one to do it.
“Why me?” I shake my head, unable to believe the words coming out of my mouth because they sound a hell of a lot like I’m considering doing it.
And I’m not.
I’m not going to kiss Gemma.
I’m not even going to think about it.
I’m not.
“I don’t know—why not?” She gives me another shrug, her mouth twisted to the side.
“You’re nice to me. Because I like you—” When she says it, her eyes bounce up to look into mine.
“As a friend. I trust you—” Letting out a sigh, she gives up and starts backing away from me toward the back porch.
“Anyway, it was a dumb thing to say. I’m sorry if I freaked you out. ”
“You didn’t freak me out.” It’s a lie. We both know she freaked me out. “You just caught me off?—”
“It’s alright, Riggs.” She flashes me a quick smile that nearly stops my heart. “Like I said, it was dumb, so just forget I said it, okay? I know you’re really Beck’s friend but I like to pretend you’re my friend too and I’d hate to think that I did something to mess that up.”
“I am your friend,” I insist, brow collapsing slightly when I realize it’s not just something I’m saying to her to make her feel better. It’s true. “I’ve always been your friend and there’s nothing you could ever do or say that would mess that up.”
“Good.” Gemma beams at me, obviously relieved. “Besides, Ethan Pryce tried to kiss me at the club pool last weekend—maybe if he tries again, I’ll just go ahead and let him.”
What?
“Ethan Pryce?” I look at her like she’s lost her mind. “You can’t kiss Ethan Pryce, for fuck’s sake.”
“Yes, I can.” Gemma looks at me, her forehead puckering slightly at my tone. “I can kiss just about anyone I want.”
“No, you can’t.” I’m trying to reason with her and only making myself sound crazy in the process. “Ethan Pryce is a creeker, Gemma.”
“So am I.” She gives me a flat, now what? sort of smile. “Just ask your sister.”
Shit.
Taking a step forward, I move to follow her when she starts to make her way up the porch steps. “Gem?—”
“Night, Riggs,” she says, throwing me another smile over her shoulder while she wrestles the back door open as quietly as she can. “Thanks for walking me home.”
She’s through the door and has it closed between us before I can say another word.