Chapter 12
T his was why Julie always hated clubbing.
An awful remix of a Beyoncé song was blaring at a volume that was too loud to be healthy and the stroboscopic purple lights were hideous and headache-inducing.
It was impossible to have a nice conversation with someone, let alone just enjoy a drink.
She looked and saw that the rest of the hens didn’t seem to feel the same way.
The town of Knokke was a seaside playground for the wealthy, and this was supposedly the hottest club in town.
She could see the girls talking to men and pointing at Yasmine.
Whatever straight nonsense was happening there, she was not interested in being a part of it.
Julie’s mood was dropping with every reverberating beat of the terrible song.
She needed a break, or she’d never make it through the whole weekend.
She headed towards the back door, pushing through the throngs of drunken Flemish party-goers in search of a bit of fresh air.
She reached the door covered by a black curtain, emerged onto the private terrace, and groaned.
The area was packed with people, chatting as they smoked at a volume to rival the dance floor inside.
Why were the Flemish so loud? She looked around in search of some respite.
The club backed directly onto the rolling dunes that characterised the Belgian coast, and the club’s fenced-in area encompassed the nearest one.
Julie walked towards the dune, hoping to get away from the crowd.
“Julie!” A voice behind her shouted. She turned around. Zoe was walking towards her. “I also need some fresh air. Mind if I join you?”
Julie shook her head, and the two women made their way through the crowd.
A few heads turned in Zoe’s direction as they walked through, but nobody stopped them.
As they climbed up the sandy slope, the clamour of the crowd started to fade.
When they reached the top, Julie sat down in the sand.
The night air was warm, full of the salty spray from the ocean.
If not for the club’s subwoofer still thudding behind them, they probably would have been able to hear the sound of the waves.
Zoe settled next to her and Julie could feel her heart beat faster.
She’d been nice to Zoe all day today - although it was more accurate to say that she’d acted normal with Zoe all day today - and it wasn’t going well.
When Zoe had fallen asleep on her shoulder in the train, Julie’d thought she was going to die.
The weight of Zoe’s head, her shifting to get comfortable, her light snores as she fell asleep had driven her crazy.
At the same time, Julie had had no idea how much she’d missed Zoe’s casual touch.
It was like a hunger she didn’t know she had.
Conversations with Zoe were exactly as she remembered them: easy and fun.
Julie had the confirmation that there was no one else like Zoe in her life. She just wished there was.
“I feel much too old to be clubbing.” Zoe sighed.
“Same.”
“You never even liked clubbing in the first place.”
“I was always too mature for my age, Zoe.”
“Clearly.” Zoe bumped her shoulder against Julie’s and her heart skipped a beat.
Julie looked out into the distance. She tried in vain to see if she could see the ocean, but there was nothing but inky blackness stretched in front of them.
“It was a fun day today. Yasmine seems to be having a great time.”
“She does, doesn’t she?” Julie looked at Zoe. “Though I’m not sure what’s going on right now? Are they getting her to kiss other guys or something?”
Zoe sighed. “You know how hen dos are.”
“You don’t want to do this at yours?” Saying the words felt like torture, but Julie was trying to remind herself that Zoe was an engaged woman soon to be married.
“Not really.” Zoe shook her head. “I don’t even know if I’ll have a hen do.”
“Why’s that?”
A silence. Zoe sighed again. She looked straight into Julie’s eyes and Julie tried to take her face in as much as possible so she could remember it forever.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Go ahead.”
“I don’t even have a date for my wedding.” Zoe was drawing with her finger in the sand. “And the worst of it is that I don’t really care.”
Julie didn’t need to know this. She didn’t need to know that things were not going as well as she thought with Tom. She had looked at pictures of this man, repeating to herself that it was the man she was losing Zoe to. Julie worked to keep her face neutral.
“Sorry.” Zoe looked away. “I shouldn’t say that. I’ve had a bit too much to drink-”
“Why don’t you care?” Julie interjected. She shouldn’t ask for more information, but it was too late, she was too curious to know.
A look of surprise crossed Zoe’s face. “I don’t really know. I love Tom.”
Julie’s heart crumbled into a million tiny pieces.
“I just don’t want to organise this wedding.
And for a while, he didn’t seem to either.
It made me mad. But then, he started planning it and now I don’t want it any more.
I feel like I’m completely nuts.” Zoe put her fist to her forehead.
“I don’t have any reason not to want it.
Tom’s really great. He’s so nice, he’s so considerate. ”
Julie’s mind was screaming for help. She swallowed.
“He’s like my best friend.” Zoe glanced back at Julie. “But not like you though. I mean, not like you were. Sorry, I’m just rambling.”
Not like Julie? What did that mean? Julie felt like she was on a roller coaster.
Zoe’s hand settled on her back. “It’s just that… We haven’t seen each other in so long and we’re just clicking back together so well. It feels like we’ve never been apart. At least, that’s how I feel. I hope I’m not wrong.”
Julie shook her head. “It’s great to see you again.” The warmth of Zoe’s hand was making her entire body tingle.
Zoe bit her lip. “About that-”
“There you are!” Leila and Alice suddenly crested the dune and appeared right beside them. “We were looking for you!”
“Is something wrong?” Julie frowned.
“No, we’re just done. Yasmine kissed all of the cute guys and now we’re ready to go home. We want to have a beach villa after-party.” Leila grinned.
Julie stood up, relieved that Zoe didn’t have time to finish her sentence. She could feel that it had been going in a direction she wanted to avoid.
“Let’s go, then.” She thought for a second then turned around and extended her hand to Zoe. “Are you coming?”
Zoe looked a bit disappointed, but upon seeing Julie’s hand, she smiled and took it, helping herself stand up.
From their vantage point on the dune, they could see Yasmine already out on the street with the rest of the hens, still dancing and shouting and drunkenly singing.
Julie was happy that her friend was enjoying her hen do so much, but she felt drained just looking at her.
She was really too old for this. Zoe squeezed her hand, and Julie snatched it away, realising she hadn’t let go after helping her up.
“Isn’t the villa also on the seafront?” Zoe asked. “Why don’t we walk home via the beach instead of the road?”
Alice gazed at Yasmine, who was laughing uproariously at something while nearly falling over.
“It’s a nice idea, Zoe, but I don’t think we’d have much luck guiding Yas back through the club and up the dunes in this state.
It was already a job to get her out onto the street, and I’m not going to undo that. ”
Zoe laughed. “Understood! Why don’t Julie and I take the beach back?
We’ll meet you at the house. I just need a bit of a breather still, if that’s okay.
” She turned pleading eyes to Julie, who groaned inwardly.
She’d been relieved to have their conversation cut short, but Zoe was still intent on finishing it.
Julie was not sure her heart was ready to hear what Zoe had to say.
And yet, part of her was desperate to know…
“Why not?” She shrugged and smiled at Zoe. “I remember which house it was, I’m sure I can find it from the back. We’ll see you back there soon.”
Leila and Alice quickly acquiesced; their main mission for the moment was clearly just to get Yasmine home in one piece, and they didn’t need Julie and Zoe for that. They turned and went back the way they came, while Julie and Zoe went down the opposite side, toward the dark beach below.
As soon as they were properly on the beach, Julie started to regret agreeing to this.
The dunes blocked most of the light from the buildings in town, but the moonlight glittered on the waves and provided just enough light to keep them from tripping in the sand.
It was ridiculously romantic. Julie had drunk quite a lot, but she still knew that none of this was good for her sanity.
A romantic walk on the beach with Zoe at two in the morning?
She was going to overthink it for days. They strolled quietly for a while.
Zoe’s arm eventually brushed against hers several times and Julie’s breath was cut short each time.
Her drunken mind kept wandering to less chaste situations.
Like her hands running under Zoe’s shirt.
Zoe exhaled. “Julie, I wanted to ask you something earlier.”
Oh god. She knew it. “What is it?”
Zoe stopped walking. The water was only a few metres from them.
The sound of the waves, the smell of the salt and the fresh wind were all adding to the fact that Zoe was the most beautiful woman on Earth.
To see her standing there, searching for her words, was one of the most dazzling sights Julie had seen in her life.
“You know…” Zoe hesitated. “A bit before I went back to England…” She stopped, looking straight into Julie’s eyes. “You know what I mean?”
Julie slowly nodded.
“Do you remember what happened?”
Julie nodded again. There it was. She had no way to escape this any more.