Chapter 15
D oomed. Julie was doomed. Since she got home from the hen do, she hadn’t stopped thinking about the conversation on the beach.
She went to bed every night hearing the words again and again and again.
The ones that Zoe uttered: she had a “thing” for her.
Julie lay in bed, awake for hours, trying to imagine what could’ve been.
What could’ve happened after that night ten years ago.
The anxiety from the weeks before meeting Zoe again for the first time had transformed into untameable elation.
Julie couldn’t help her blooming heart or her high hopes.
It was just too hard to keep a distance from Zoe and so Julie had finally just fallen back into what they had had before.
Still, she could hear a small voice reminding her that Zoe would very soon go back to the UK and back to Tom, and that Julie would be crushed when she did.
So she was doomed, completely, irrevocably, and yet she couldn’t keep a smile off her face.
Zoe had had a crush on her. Maybe she didn’t any more, but she had in the past.
She was full of nervous energy this morning, so she decided to walk to work to try to burn some of it off.
Everything in the street reminded her of Zoe.
A small restaurant - Zoe was a professional chef.
A dog - Zoe loved dogs. A car honking - what car did Zoe drive?
Julie practically skipped down the cobblestones through the city centre towards the canal.
Her office was in an area that was undergoing rapid gentrification.
Dilapidated houses hunched next to brand new developments and creative offices.
Even the depressing sight of the building with broken windows and boarded-up doors didn’t get Julie’s mood down today.
One night she and Zoe had slipped away from the party, much as they had a decade later at Yasmine’s hen do.
They’d lain in the yard, gazing up at the stars.
Remembering it now, Julie could still smell the fresh grass and feel it cold against her neck.
They’d ended up spending hours out there, talking about their futures.
Zoe hadn’t been sure what she wanted to do once she was back in London.
She’d really wanted to attend culinary school but wasn’t sure if she was cut out for it.
Julie had never doubted for one second that Zoe would crush it.
And she had been right. Julie sighed. Those were the good old days.
Did Zoe have a “thing” for her at that time already?
When they were lying next to each other in the grass, giggling and pointing at stars and planes.
Eventually, Zoe had fallen asleep, her forehead against Julie’s shoulder.
Julie had lain there without a word, not daring to move, until Zoe had finally stirred and they’d crawled back to their beds.
Julie had woken up with a cold the next day.
Nights are chilly in the Ardennes, even in May.
Julie looked at the clock. Two hours had gone by already and she hadn’t done anything besides thinking about Zoe.
This was getting ridiculous. She forced herself to open her spreadsheets and go through what was needed for her meeting with Lucile.
After her meeting, she needed to meet up with Yasmine to discuss the current state of wedding preparations.
And maybe somewhere in between there, she could find a few more minutes to daydream.
* * *
Bomber jacket on, Julie was ready to leave the office at 5:45 sharp.
The meeting with Lucile had gone smoothly.
Lucile and her bosses had been extremely enchanted by the amazing warehouse location Julie had found for them, and they’d welcomed every one of her suggestions.
Julie’s job was not particularly stressful or intense and she was happy for that.
She couldn’t imagine working overtime and pulling all-nighters to get projects done.
Of course, it was still challenging and stimulating but Julie just never was the workaholic type.
Unlike Yasmine, who had already texted her that she’d be too late to catch dinner with her because of a problem at work.
She’d suggested they’d go for a drink later in the evening.
Julie had agreed, but groaned a little internally.
She was ready to leave the office, with nowhere to go but home now.
And she knew as soon as she had a free moment, her imagination would start running wild again.
As much as she enjoyed indulging in it, she knew it wasn’t good for her heart.
She should be distancing herself from Zoe already.
Speaking of which.
Her phone buzzed as she crossed the entrance of her office building into the courtyard parking lot. It was a message from a foreign number, a British one.
“ Hey! Have you recovered from the hen do? It’s been three days and I still have some sore muscles… Hopefully they’ll have comfortable sofas at the race track.”
Julie’s face got instantly hot. Zoe wasn’t kidding when she said that she really missed their friendship.
Were they already falling back into the constant texting they’d had back then?
Julie felt herself sink a little bit deeper in the emotional turmoil she was already in.
She scratched her head, trying to understand how Zoe had got her phone number when she couldn’t remember giving it to her during the weekend.
The only way she could’ve gotten it was by fishing it out from the hen do chat group.
Zoe had gone through all this trouble just to text her this?
Nothing was going to get Julie back down to Earth today.
Julie walked home, a dumb grin on her face, texting Zoe back.
“ I’m surprisingly fine, thanks for asking! Not sure about comfortable sofas at the race track, but I think Porsches can be comfy.”
A few minutes later, as Julie was distractedly crossing the city centre, her phone buzzed again.
“Unfortunately, I’ve sat in Porsches and I didn’t think they were any comfier than your parents’ old Peugeot… Guess I’ll just suffer in silence.”
It was all too much. Julie forced herself not to answer. She couldn’t reduce her interactions with Zoe in person, but at least she could stop texting her.
* * *
“What a weekend!” Yasmine was sipping her tea - chamomile. They had both agreed that after the hen do and with the wedding coming up, they would lay off the alcohol for a bit.
“Did you enjoy yourself? You seemed like you did.” Julie sat back on her chair, taking in the warm and dry evening on the café’s patio.
“I did! I haven’t had that much fun in years.” She stopped. “And it took a lot of the wedding stress away.”
“Were you stressed about the organisation? I think we’re doing a pretty good job.”
“We are.” Yasmine ran a hand through her wavy black hair. “It’s not just about the organisation… It’s just general wedding stress.”
“Between you and Zoe, I have to say that all of this is making me extremely anxious about eventually getting married.” Julie made a terrified face.
“You’ll figure it out when you meet Ms. Right.”
“But wasn’t that the whole point? That you meet someone you really want to marry and then things just go well from there? I don’t understand why weddings need to be so stressful.”
Yasmine touched her friend’s arm. “Oh Julie. You’re so pure.
Of course they should be like that. But the reality is that there’s going to be so much pressure, no matter who you’re marrying.
I need to make my family’s side happy and compromise with Adam’s family as well.
I needed to lose weight to look good on wedding pictures-”
“Wait what? Yas, you’re absolutely fine as you are.” Julie’s face was more horrified.
“People will talk. It’s sad but true.” Yasmine looked dejected, then brightened. “But it will be a great day! And the pictures will look great.”
“So this thing we’ve been planning for months is basically a photo shoot?”
“In a way, yes.” Yasmine chuckled. “But you’ll understand when you get there.”
Julie softly nodded. She was unconvinced. “How are things going with Adam?”
“It’s fine.” Yasmine sighed. “I was a little bit annoyed at him since you and I were doing almost everything for this wedding, but we talked on the phone and he’s agreed to get more involved from now on.”
“That’s good news, considering that it’s in a week.” Julie grinned.
“Hey! Better late than never.” Yasmine stayed silent for a moment. She opened her mouth but then hesitated.
Julie didn’t say anything. Weddings were really weird.
“You and Zoe seemed to have rekindled your friendship.” Yasmine finally said after a moment of silence.
“What?” Julie panicked for a second before remembering that Yasmine had no idea what happened on the beach. “Oh yeah. We did. It’s good.”
“It’s nice to see you two back together. Reminds me of those good old college days. When I didn’t have to do seating arrangements.” Yasmine smiled, basking in the nostalgia.
“It’s never too late to run away, Yas. People leave other people at the altar all the time.”
“Who do you know who’s left someone at the altar?”
Julie considered. “I guess not real people. But it happens all the time on TV shows and in movies.”
“Perfect. TV shows and movies always give the best advice.”