Chapter 26
T he garden shed looked just as grim in broad daylight as it did at night.
Julie was pacing inside, being careful not to knock over any gardening tools or disturb any spiders.
A ray of sunshine was coming though the only small window, shedding thin light on layers and layers of dust. Clearly, the shed was not a priority for the wealthy owners of the villa.
Julie and Zoe were probably the first guests to have even ventured into this place.
It wasn’t the most romantic place - hell, it wasn’t a romantic place at all - and that was perfect for Julie.
She didn’t need to get any more temptation to get close to Zoe.
She was going to focus and let Zoe know that whatever happened last night was a one-time occurrence and that they couldn’t let another kiss destroy their friendship - or more.
That was the right thing to do, even though it wasn’t what she wanted at all.
They needed to get it all out in the open once and for all, so they could put it behind them forever.
She kept pacing back and forth, from the old rusty watering can to the shelf where they’d found the garden shears the other night.
Zoe was eight minutes late already. What if she didn’t show up at all?
Julie kept checking her phone, but there was nothing.
Zoe might’ve gotten cold feet and left Julie in this dirty shed, just like she left her that morning ten years ago.
The door slowly creaked and Julie froze mid-pace.
Zoe peeked inside and smiled upon seeing Julie.
“Hey, sorry I’m late, we couldn’t find the vanilla extract for the crême br?lée and I wanted to make sure everything was dealt with before seeing you.” Zoe gently closed the door behind her, as if she didn’t want anyone to hear they were there.
“No worries.” Julie thought for a second. If there was a time she could be open to Zoe, it was now or never. “I kinda thought you wouldn’t show up any more, that you’d change your mind. You know…”
Zoe’s face immediately crumpled.
“Oh no, I’m sorry!” Julie panicked. “I didn’t mean to be dramatic. It’s just… I don’t want it to be like ten years ago. I’m scared of that.”
“It’s not going to be like that.” Zoe gestured as if she was going to take Julie’s hand into hers, but stopped herself.
“We’re here to talk about it. Which is already more than we did back then.
” She smirked. “I wanted to talk to you earlier this morning but you were fast asleep on your laptop. It almost fell on the ground so I put it away for you.”
That’s why her laptop had been neatly closed on the coffee table, Julie thought. Zoe really cared about her. Julie felt bad that she’d even thought that Zoe wouldn’t show up.
They stood there for a moment, not saying anything.
Julie hadn’t noticed it at brunch, but Zoe looked a bit tired.
Like she didn’t get proper sleep last night.
Was she also tossing and turning, replaying their kiss in her head?
Julie really wanted to kiss her again, but reminded herself that nothing good would come out of this.
She had no idea how to start this conversation, but Zoe took the first step.
“How do you feel?”
“I feel…” She breathed. “I feel confused. I don’t really know how yesterday happened and I have no idea what we should be doing now.
” She rubbed her neck. “I like you, Zoe. And it’s making everything more complicated.
I don’t want to ruin your life. And I don’t want to ruin Yasmine’s wedding because we have our own secrets to deal with.
I don’t think we should let anything else happen.
” Julie crossed her arms and looked at the floor.
She hoped Zoe didn’t hear how uncertain her voice sounded in the last part. “What about you?”
Zoe looked around, unsure, before sighing. “I don’t know how to say this, because it’s all so fucking insane. I didn’t sleep last night because I cheated on my fiancé.” Her voice trembled. “I feel so guilty and ashamed right now. What I did wasn’t fair to him.”
Julie’s heart tugged. She knew Zoe had to choose Tom over her. It was perfectly reasonable, but it still hurt like hell.
“And at the same time…” Zoe continued, looking straight at Julie. “I like you too, Julie. I haven’t felt like this-”
Zoe’s phone rang, startling her. She looked at Julie who nodded at her to pick up.
“Shit… It’s Tom.” Zoe swallowed and looked at her phone and then at Julie, not knowing what to do. “I have to take this.”
“Sure, go ahead.” Julie was stunned.
“Hi, darling! Yes, I’m alright, just busy! You?”
Julie walked towards the door to give Zoe some privacy, but Zoe grabbed her arm. She mouthed the words ‘ Stay. Please.’ Julie obliged.
“I didn’t have time to call you yesterday, I was too busy. I’m working here, you know.” Zoe frowned. “Yes of course we can talk about the wedding, but I’d like for the two of us to sit down and make plans together.”
Julie wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay here for the rest of this conversation. Any reminder that Zoe was about to marry Tom made her want to scream. The false note of brightness in Zoe’s voice when she picked up the phone had made her feel ill. She should try not to listen…
“A wedding planner? You hired a wedding planner?” Zoe suddenly shouted into the phone.
“No… Wait, what? You’re currently with the wedding planner?
” A pause. “I see. You want to put me on speaker phone to talk to her? Does it really have to be right at this moment?” Another pause. “Really? We have to decide now?”
Zoe let go of Julie’s arm. She seemed extremely annoyed.
Julie looked at her. She whispered ‘ Is everything okay?’
Zoe was listening closely to Tom on the phone. She shook her head at Julie and grimaced the word ‘Sorry’.
“Okay, so if she’s putting all of these people on pause because she really wants to work with us, I guess I can do it now.”
Julie pointed at the door, miming walking away and Zoe nodded apologetically. She left, turning around to look at Zoe one last time.
Julie’s heart felt like it dropped into her shoes.
This was a good reminder that Tom was the one who was very much part of Zoe’s life.
Julie knew that deep inside, but the excitement of last evening had planted the seed of hope inside her.
It made her want something with Zoe. It gave her a glimpse of a life with her.
Of getting the girl. But after seeing Zoe discussing wedding plans with Tom…
Julie crashed back down to Earth and was headed well into its core.
There was her proof that Zoe would always pick Tom over her, even when she was clearly annoyed with him.
This was the world in which Zoe and Tom were building something together.
Something much bigger than a few secret kisses shared at night when no one was looking, ten years apart.
Whatever happened between her and Zoe was an exception, not a rule, despite their mutual attraction, despite how well they fit together, despite the fact that no one has ever made Julie’s heart beam like Zoe did.
Zoe didn’t choose her then and she couldn’t possibly choose her now.
Julie walked away from the shed, tears stinging her eyes.
Zoe would be the one that got away twice.