Chapter 31
J ulie woke up sweaty, taking a minute to realise where she was. She had a slight hope that everything that had happened in the past few days was just a bizarre lucid dream. She grabbed the blankets around her to realise that she was home, in her own bed. She lay there for a minute.
She’d ended up going back to Brussels early yesterday, before Zoe and the other bridesmaids.
She’d felt completely helpless and knew she wasn’t being of use to anyone anyway, and the whole thing just started to feel overwhelming.
When the guests finally started trickling out by mid-afternoon, she’d taken her chance, with Leila’s blessing.
Julie had driven home numb and on autopilot, then fallen face-first into her bed soon after she stepped into her apartment.
Yesterday felt like it had happened in a haze. None of it really made sense.
She remembered she was supposed to meet up with Zoe later for lunch, to talk things through.
She was too numb to feel any kind of hope that something good would come out of it, but if nothing else, she could get some closure on where they both stood.
A bit of clarity would be nice right now.
She realised that they’d never actually confirmed a time or place.
She grabbed her phone, and sure enough, an unread message from Zoe from the night before waited for her.
She must have sent it just after Julie had arrived home and crashed into bed.
Julie thought about Zoe’s fears that a tabloid would catch wind of them together, to the point that they’d have to meet behind closed doors for lunch.
For a moment, she had a wild thought that maybe Julie did want the tabloids to know about this.
For them to put on paper that there was something between her and Zoe.
To tell the world that this was real, and always had been, and she wasn’t going crazy.
But of course, she knew that all that would do was hurt Zoe.
This was Zoe’s story more than anything.
She was the one who had everything to lose.
All Julie could hope for today was closure, and she had to be grateful that Zoe was giving her that.
She glanced at the clock on her phone. She had some time before meeting up with Zoe. She could use the time to freshen up and gather her thoughts to reduce the risk of saying anything stupid to Zoe later.
* * *
Zoe’s hotel was located in the city centre, a small boutique hotel surrounded by a mix of mediaeval-looking buildings, churches and more mismatched restaurants and bars.
It was a very touristic area but Julie could understand that Zoe’s assistant had probably picked a hotel that was close to a train station but also not in a shady area.
Or maybe Zoe was missing the touristy bits of Brussels and had booked it herself. Julie was curious to know.
She stepped into the hotel lobby. The space was elegant, with expensive-looking chairs and sofas resting against an opulent dark wallpaper.
Julie instantly felt like a fish out of water.
As she looked around uncomfortably, she couldn’t help but think that as much as she didn’t belong somewhere this fancy, this was Zoe’s everyday life in London nowadays.
Being there made Julie more and more aware of how much Zoe would lose if she chose to leave Tom to be with her.
Not that the idea was even on the table.
It suddenly dawned on her that she kept thinking of Tom as her romantic rival, when they were clearly not even boxing in the same league.
He and Zoe were probably fine dining all the time and staying in luxurious hotels like this every other night.
All Julie could do was cook her an omelette.
Their lives had intertwined but were still different at the core.
Julie wished she’d thought of it earlier.
Julie swallowed and sat down in one of the luxurious armchairs, which were surprisingly uncomfortable.
This was proof once again that sometimes, expensive things were just terrible.
A stern-looking man with rectangular glasses was standing behind the dark wood reception desk and he glared at her.
Julie nodded and smiled at him, hoping that he wouldn’t kick her out.
She took out her phone. Only ten minutes late, which was pretty good for her, but a bit surprising for Zoe. She double-checked for a message she might have missed - a heads-up that she’d be late, maybe a room number? - but there was nothing. She decided to wait.
Five minutes went by, then another five.
Julie was growing nervous. Zoe wouldn’t leave without saying a word like she did ten years ago, would she?
Another ten minutes passed and Julie started getting restless.
She had a bad feeling about all this. The man behind the desk was doing something on his computer, but his disapproving glances over to her were getting more and more frequent.
Where was Zoe? Had she forgotten? Already left?
Had something terrible happened to her? Had Julie done something terrible?
. Julie couldn’t stand it any longer. She got up and approached the desk.
“Hello, sir,” she started in her most polite and friendly voice.
“Hello madam, what can I do for you?”
“I’m looking for someone who’s staying at your hotel.”
The man lifted a brow.
“She’s a friend of mine… She told me to meet her here, but she hasn’t arrived yet. Is it possible for you to call her room?”
“Her name, please?” The man looked back at his screen.
“It’s Zoe. Zoe Lang.”
Julie expected him to type the name into his computer, but he immediately stopped and folded his hands on the desk. “We have no client by that name here.”
Julie’s heart sank. How could this be happening? There was no way she’d gotten the wrong hotel. It was the only one around with that name.
“Are you sure? She told me to meet her here at noon.” Julie was holding onto the reception desk so tight she could feel her knuckles turn white.
“I am certain.”
Julie grimaced. “Do you mean that Zoe was never there or that she was there but not any more?”
“I’m sorry madam, this is not something I can tell you.”
“Come on.” Julie was getting frustrated. “I’m not some sort of weirdo, this is my friend.”
“Then I suggest you call your friend and settle this with her. Good day, madam.” The man turned around and went through the door behind him into a back office.
Julie shook her head. This was unbelievable. She looked at Zoe’s message once again hoping that maybe she’d gotten the wrong address and this was all a big misunderstanding. Unfortunately, she’d made no mistake. Julie had to admit that she’d been stood up.
She walked out of the hotel and stood on the cobblestoned street, trying to collect her thoughts.
A million possibilities spun through her mind for how she could have gotten here, each more painful than the last. It was the not-knowing that was the worst, she realised.
She took a deep breath and tried to steel her resolve.
She wouldn’t let Zoe leave her in the dark again.
Julie pulled out her phone to dial Zoe’s number.
She’d call a hundred times if she had to.
She had all day, and she wasn’t going to let up until she got the answers she needed.
Zoe picked up on the first ring.
“Zoe?” Julie was a little thrown.
“Julie!” Zoe almost shouted on the phone. “Sorry, I know what you’re probably thinking but please let me explain. I wanted to text you or call you but I barely had time, I had to leave and-”
“Zoe, stop.” Julie’s voice was trembling. “Please, just stop.”
“Ju-”
She didn’t let Zoe continue. “I don’t know what’s going on with you. I don’t know why you’re doing this.”
“I can explain.” Zoe’s voice suddenly sounded small. Julie relented, just for a moment.
“OK. Go on then.”
“I… I can’t talk right now. I’m in public.” Zoe almost whispered. “I have to go back to London to deal with some things but as soon as I’m home I can call you and explain everything.”
Julie was speechless.
“It’s complicated.” Zoe added. “I’m sorry, I really wish I could be there with you.”
Julie felt a thousand knives pierce through her heart.
She couldn’t believe Zoe couldn’t even give her a reason why she stood her up.
As if the British tabloids were hanging around at the Brussels Airport on a regular basis!
Julie didn’t want to let Zoe have any chance to hurt her any more.
“I don’t think so, Zoe. You’re going to explain everything to me while you’re back in Tom’s arms?
In between planning the seating arrangements and the colour of the bouquets? ”
“Julie, I understand you’re hurt.” Zoe swallowed, her voice was almost breaking. “But that’s not fair.”
“You’re not being fair to me, either.”
“Please, if you let me explain… I can call you back tonight and we can talk this through.”
“All of this was a mistake.” Julie’s entire body was numb. “I can’t do this any more.” Her eyes were stinging as tears started to well. “ Au revoir, Zoe .” She’d never said that to Zoe. Maybe it’d been ten years overdue.
“Julie, no! Listen-”
Julie cut the call before Zoe could finish. It immediately started to buzz again, but Julie declined Zoe’s call and slid her phone into her jacket pocket. She stood for a moment, trying to control her breathing.
This was the last time she would give her heart to Zoe Lang.