3. Chapter 2 #2
She sighed because he also had no reason to treat them fairly, and she couldn’t trust him to do the right thing. Not when he had never even bothered to offer to help her family. He only wanted the estate, not to help them, though she knew that argument wouldn’t get through to her mother.
“My marriage to Edgar means we won’t need the Viscount at all. I thought that being able to keep our home, and the land in our family would be important to you as well.”
“I know, Caroline,” she said carefully. “I only wish you were less concerned with our family’s future and more concerned with your own happiness. I have found such a beautiful life with you and your father, and I wish the same for you.”
“Edgar and I will be plenty happy. Really, most mothers would be thrilled to have a daughter marry so well.”
“I’m only concerned with your happiness.”
“This is my happiness. I don’t want Father to sell the only home I’ve ever known or for you to stop sending money home. People depend on us. I can’t be so selfish to think my happiness is more important than that. I would never allow my family to suffer because of me.”
Her mother’s eyes widened, and guilt pierced Caroline as she realized the implication of what she had said.
“I didn’t—”
“No,” her mother interrupted. “I know you must think I’m some naive fool who doesn’t understand how your world works, but your world is the tiniest sliver of reality.
You have never known hunger or real suffering.
What we have now, what you are convinced is poverty, is still more than my family ever had.
My sister and her baby starved to death because the little food they could grow was used for taxes. ”
Caroline was at a loss for words; her mother had never once spoken to her in such a way. Growing up, she knew the famine drove her from Ireland, but they never discussed what happened to her family she left behind.
“If we lost our home, our lands, all of your father’s income and the little bit of money we have left, I could survive.
It would be harder than hell to start over, but I’ve done it before.
If you truly want to sacrifice your happiness, I won’t stop you, but don’t say you’re doing it for my survival. ”
“I’m not turning down anyone else for Edgar.
If it was a choice between two people, one I love, and the other I’m marrying for duty, then I could see value in your argument.
I love this house. I love these lands. That is the love I’m chasing, and if Edgar is my way to keep it all, then it’s hardly a burden. ”
Mother and daughter stared at one another with tears in their eyes. If she could have married for love and to save her family, she would have done so in an instant.
A knock at the door broke the tension, and they both turned to see Mrs. Thomas, their housekeeper, enter the room.
“Excuse me, Mrs. Blythe. You wished for an update on Lady Valeria?”
Her mother straightened as she wiped away her tears. “Yes, how is she doing?”
“I tried to rouse her to feed her some fluids, but she’s still asleep. It seems as if she hasn’t even moved since she was placed in bed last night. Her skin feels cool, so she doesn’t have a fever at least.”
“Thank you for the update, Mrs. Thomas.”
The housekeeper bowed her head before leaving mother and daughter alone again.
“I’ll take over looking after Valeria for you, Mother.”
“Is that yet another task you don’t think I can be trusted with?”
“No, I only want to do so because she’s my friend and I’m worried for her. Besides, my volunteer work at the village hospital has made me quite adept at creating cold compresses and rearranging pillows.”
Her mother’s face softened as she looked at her and the remaining tension between them broke. There was still plenty to say, but it would have to happen another time.
“I had forgotten about your friendship. I was surprised that you had invited her, even though you two had been so close that summer.”
Caroline’s face heated, and she prayed her mother wouldn’t notice. “I hadn’t invited her, but Edgar works for her family, and I suppose she wished to surprise me when she realized it was me.”
“It’s funny how fate works sometimes, but it’s also lucky for her to have fallen ill in a friendly household. I’ve added her to my prayers; hopefully she’ll be better soon.”
Her mother turned to leave, pausing before she turned back to face Caroline. “I’ve only ever wanted what is best for you. I crave your happiness more than my own. If marrying Edgar is what will bring you the most happiness, then I will be your biggest supporter.”
“Thank you, Mother.”
Her mother smiled at her before leaving her alone in the sitting room. She sat back down to finish her tea. Even though it had cooled, it still brought her the comfort she craved.
Happiness was a foreign feeling. Her life was satisfactory.
She loved her family, caring for her household, and all of her crafts.
Beyond worrying about money, there wasn’t a heaviness to her spirit, but she still couldn’t remember the last time she had been truly happy.
There were glimpses when she rode in the forest with Diya or played whist with her parents, but it was nothing sustained.
The last time she remembered being happy was running through the Italian countryside with the woman upstairs.
Though Caroline wasn’t sure what to make of that.