14. Chapter 11 #2
She lifted her head to see Valeria standing above her. She had her green dressing gown tied tightly around her waist. Her thick brown hair was in a long braid that was flipped over her shoulder. Her furrowed brow marred her otherwise flawless beauty.
“What are you doing here?” Caroline asked, crying even harder.
“I heard your commotion all the way on the other side of the house and figured you were being stabbed, but now I see you’re just being loud for no good reason.”
“There’s a good reason.”
She didn’t need Valeria and her stupid, beautiful face mocking her as her life fell apart.
“If you’re insisting this is a proportional response, then tell me what happened.”
Caroline dropped her head back to her forearm.
There was no way she could explain her shame, especially not to Valeria.
It was too pathetic to admit what had become of her and her family.
Not when she had a glamorous life going around the continent with The Count and enjoying the lifestyle nobility afforded.
“Cara,” Valeria continued, “Please tell me what happened.”
She felt tentative fingers stroking her shoulder and shuddered. Valeria so rarely touched her that she wanted to soak up the comfort, but the quick withdrawal of her touch meant she misinterpreted Caroline’s reaction. Which felt like proof that she didn’t deserve comfort.
“My name isn’t Cara, stop calling me that. If you must use my nickname, it’s Caro.”
It wasn’t the most pressing matter, but the petty annoyance over her name was enough to keep the tears at bay for the moment. She needed Valeria to leave so she could continue stewing in her misery alone.
“You don’t know why I call you cara? You haven’t learned any Italian even after all these years?”
“No,” she said, her misery threatening to break through again.
Valeria sighed, and even without looking up, Caroline knew she sat beside her on the floor.
“It means dear. I call you that because that’s what you are to me. What you’ve always been.”
Her breath hitched. She certainly never expected Valeria to say anything like that. “I always thought you called me that because you thought that was how you said my name with your accent.”
“No,” Valeria said with her throaty laugh. “When I met you all those years ago, I did think your name was incredibly apt. You were this little thing with a mess of blonde hair and the biggest blue eyes I had ever seen. You’ve only managed to become even more dear as the years have passed.”
Caroline also remembered sixteen-year-old Valeria viscerally. She was already so unbelievably beautiful with a glint of mischief in her eye. Caroline would have followed her anywhere just for the chance that Valeria would look back at her for even a moment.
“The hearth in the kitchen is crumbling, and I hired a bricklayer to come out and fix it,” Caroline started, turning her head to stare at Valeria, who was now lying beside her.
“He told me before he would even consider the project, I had to pay him half the fee up front because he heard my family is near broke.”
Valeria sucked in a breath, and Caroline felt as if she teetered on a knife’s edge.
She could have lied to herself and said that she didn’t know why she shared her humiliation with Valeria, but she knew why.
She wanted someone who wasn’t depending on her to see her burden.
She was so, so tired of carrying everything alone.
“You don’t have money? But this house is so grand, and your father is the son of a Viscount. He’s the lord of this land.”
“My father is the second son, so he was never going to inherit it all, but his father cut him off before I was born. This estate was a small inheritance that couldn’t be taken away, but the money is shrinking, and the home is falling apart.
Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how shabby the linens are. ”
“But your wedding. You have one of the top dressmakers in London making your wedding dress, and you have all sorts of extravagance planned.”
“Edgar’s paying for it, of course. Why do you think I’m weaving my own veil? I like making my things, but it’s also because I couldn’t afford anything half as nice.”
“Is that why you’re marrying Edgar? Money.” Valeria spat the word out as if it was poison, and she looked at Caroline with disgust.
“That’s not the only reason why,” Caroline said, dropping her eyes to the floor. “I care for him quite a bit. He’s been very kind to me for years.”
Valera raised an eyebrow. “And that’s enough to marry him? He’s kind to you? Maybe marrying him for money is the better reason.”
“Most women marry to secure their future.”
“Yes, but not you. I thought you would only marry if you were madly in love with him and couldn’t bear to ever be parted.”
“Why?” Caroline laughed. No one had a love like that. Well, her parents did, but they were the exception.
“Because it’s what you deserve.”
Caroline cleared her throat. “I’d rather have a working hearth.”
Valeria’s brow furrowed. “He won’t do any of the work?”
“No, and at this point even if I had the money, I’m sure he would only extort me for more.”
“Then get someone else to come.”
He was the only one in her price range, but that was too humiliating to admit, so she shrugged instead.
Valeria rolled her eyes. “Really, you couldn’t get him to do anything before he left.”
“No, he insisted on being paid upfront.”
“You still could have gotten him to do something. He’s only a man after all.”
Her face heated as she thought about what Valeria had expected her to do for the repairs. It was too steep a price for a chimney, but maybe she would have considered it if he was the roofer.
“Then maybe you should have been there to negotiate with him.”
“Oh, if he was here after dark, I would have been down there, but there would have been no negotiating.”
“It’s too bad you’re such a heavy sleeper,” she snapped.
“It’s a real shame for you because I would have had this handled without a problem. Really, cara, you’d think you had never been taken care of before.”
Caroline narrowed her eyes at Valeria. She hated the implication she couldn’t take care of herself. She had been more than capable of doing so since she was at least twelve years old, if not earlier. Currently she was having a difficult go of it, but she had done an admirable job overall.
“Then it’s a shame your sun sickness means you’ll never be able to take care of me.”
A look of horror slowly bloomed over Valeria, but Caroline was too angry to feel bad about her harsh words.
“I have a headache, so I would appreciate it if you could leave me to sleep while you do whatever it is you do every night.”
“Very well, I’ll leave you to your wallowing.”
Caroline didn’t move from her place on the floor even after she heard the door close behind Valeria. She was tired of having to take care of everything on her own, but she didn’t know another way to move forward.