CHAPTER 21
Caroline stared blankly at the place setting before her. She knew she should eat, but her first bite of eggs tasted like ash, so she hadn’t risked another bite. She had barely eaten the previous evening, but not even her rumbling stomach made her pick up her fork again.
“Should I have Cook make you something else?” Mrs. Thomas asked.
Caroline shook her head. “I’ll manage with the eggs. They’re quite good; I’ve just been lost in thought this morning. Would you please fetch Lucy for me?” She asked with her blandest smile.
Mrs. Thomas frowned. She hadn’t left her alone since she rescued her from Valeria’s room the previous evening. Which was sweet, but also mildly frustrating because she was trailed when she checked to see if Valeria had returned. The room was empty.
Valeria hadn’t returned by dawn.
“It’s daytime,” Caroline continued, “It will be hours before you have to worry about my safety.”
Mrs. Thomas regarded her for a while before giving a sharp nod. “I’ll fetch Lucy, but I’m coming right back.”
Caroline nodded with another weak smile, but her shoulders dropped when the door clicked shut behind Mrs. Thomas, and she was finally alone again.
Jealousy and fear over what Valeria was up to warred within her. The idea that anyone’s blood fed her rankled something deep inside her, but it truly made her sick thinking about the corpses that were out there.
Or she could have collapsed from hunger in the open air and been engulfed in flame by the rising sun, and Caroline would never know what happened to her.
She moved the eggs around on her plate, making it look like she ate more than she could choke down. The last thing she needed was a scolding from Mrs. Thomas.
Her bedroom door opened, and her spine snapped straight out of habit. She relaxed a fraction when Lucy entered alone.
“Good Morning, Miss Blythe.”
“Good Morning, Lucy. How are you doing today?”
The maid sighed. The dark bags beneath her eyes were the only indication of her difficult night. Her uniform was perfectly pressed, and her light blonde hair was pulled back from her face without a hair out of place.
“I’m well. How are you?”
“I’m fine,” she sighed, putting down her fork. “I want to apologize for what happened yesterday. You never should have been put at risk, and I’m so sorry it was so close.”
The nightmares that kept her up all night were about getting to Valeria’s room too late. Instead of finding Lucy terrified, she found her with Valeria’s fangs in her neck or—worse—her lifeless body on the floor while the gauzy curtain floated above her. She shivered at the thought.
Lucy’s eyes flitted to the ground. “It’s quite all right. I know you didn’t mean for anything to happen and you saved me anyway. I don’t have any sore feelings about it.”
“Still, I’m sorry you had to be involved at all. It’s wrong. You can have the rest of the week off. And though it may go without saying, you don’t have to worry about working with Lady Valeria again.”
“Thank you, Miss,” Lucy said, her eyes lifting to Caroline again.
“I did want to let you know something. I didn’t believe it at first, but after thinking about it for a bit and hearing your conversation with her, I do believe it to be true.
As long as you don’t think I’m speakin’ out of turn, of course. ”
“Of course not, feel free to speak however you wish. You’ve more than earned it.”
Lucy took a deep breath before giving her a sharp nod. “When I saw Lady Valeria last night, I knew she was sick. She was barely awake when I went in, and when I got close to check on her, her eyes flew open, and I saw them turn to black, and she grabbed me like it was a reaction.”
Caroline cleared her throat. “Why are you…telling me this?”
It wasn’t that she was ungrateful for the information, but she wasn’t sure why Lucy felt it was important to share it with her now.
“I saw your face last night. How upset you were, and I thought that it might matter that it didn’t seem to be entirely within her power.”
“Thank you for telling me,” she paused, dropping her eyes to her plate. “Though I don’t think it will matter much after all.”
Lucy frowned. “Is she not in her room?”
“No, and while I don’t want her here, I also don’t want…” she trailed off, unsure of how to explain any of this to Lucy. Especially not after her experience last night.
“You don’t want her to die,” Lucy said gently.
“I thought she was different. That she could be different, but now I feel foolish. I don’t even know why I’m upset that she’s not here, because I don’t know if I ever want to see her again.”
“You do. I’m sure it’s plenty complicated, and I won’t pretend to know everything between the two of you, but you want to see her again.”
Caroline rubbed her eyes. Everything had gotten so out of control, and she didn’t know how to regain the control she so desperately needed.
“I’ll let Mrs. Thomas know you have the rest of the week off. You can visit your mother to get away from here for a few days.”
The side of Lucy’s mouth lifted to a smile. “I’m not sure spending the week with my mother is much of a vacation. I’ll never refuse time off, though.”
Lucy left, and Caroline was grateful Mrs. Thomas hadn’t yet returned.
Once again, Caroline was torn between her duty and what she wanted.
The only thing she wanted was Valeria. The only thing she had ever wanted was Valeria, and she couldn’t see that changing, but at what cost?
How much could she be expected to turn the other cheek to her wrongdoings, even if she did love her with everything she had?
Hell, she didn’t even know if Valeria loved her in return. One time she had, but who knew if vampires could even feel such emotions.
* * *
The day passed Caroline by in a haze. There was so much for her to do, but she didn’t accomplish anything beyond napping.
Mrs. Thomas didn’t leave her side the entire day.
Every time she woke up, the housekeeper was working through the pile of mending on her lap.
Usually, she slept on her back, but that day she slept on her side facing the window.
Waiting for nightfall, of course.
She sent a stable boy into town to send a note to ask Dr. Murnau if there were any new patients, and his response said it had been a quiet night.
It didn’t do much to make her feel better since chances were Valeria killed whoever she fed from immediately, but she hoped that maybe if she hadn’t left people alive, there would be fewer victims.
Still, she waited for nightfall. Since Lucy had left, she made the decision that she wanted to see Valeria again. To have Valeria tell her precisely how many people she killed through the night before she removed her from her life forever.
When she couldn’t bear being in bed for another moment, she dragged a chair to the window and folded her arms on the windowsill, resting her chin on her hands as she looked out at the world.
Her eyes weren’t focused as she lazily watched the front grounds. A rust colored fox chased a small brown blur that was likely a vole. Even though the little guy was smaller and weaker, he still outsmarted the fox to escape into the forest.
A black carriage rolled down the drive, and she shot up from her seat, the chair clattering to the floor behind her.
It was black lacquer with gold detailing and black curtains.
It looked expensive, like something her uncle would have, but she had never seen this carriage before.
She wasn’t sure who it could be, but she ran down the stairs to greet them all the same.
Throwing open the heavy wooden front door, Caroline ran outside just as the carriage rolled to a stop.
The carriage looked large from upstairs, but up close it was massive.
As were the black stallions that drove it.
Thick black curtains were tied shut at all the windows so she couldn’t see inside.
A driver wearing a thick coat and a hat pulled down over his face sat in the driver’s seat, but he didn’t move to let out the passenger, and no footmen traveled with the carriage.
The carriage door creaked as it opened and a pale hand wrapped around the door frame. She felt the air rush from her body as if she had been punched in the stomach.
Edgar had returned.
* * *
“You don’t need to fuss over me, my sweet,” Edgar rasped as she poured him another cup of tea.
“You need your strength.”
Edgar looked dreadful. She felt bad for thinking it when it was so clear he wasn’t well, but his appearance was jarring.
It had only been a few weeks since they last saw each other, but he looked as if he had aged more than a decade.
His thick brown hair had thinned and was threaded with silver.
He had always been pale, but it looked as if all the color had been drained from him.
The whites of his eyes had a yellow tinge, and there were many new lines around his mouth and eyes.
His cheeks were sunken as if he had lost a lot of weight, but she couldn’t tell what else had happened to him. His collar was high, and he had been so reluctant to part with his overcoat that she knew he wouldn’t take off any other layers, even if she begged one of the male servants to examine him.
For bites.
“I’ll be fine.” He gave her a tight smile as he raised the warm cup of tea, the liquid sloshing so hard he spilled it all over his chin. Though he didn’t seem to notice the liquid dripping from him. “Already I’m feeling better. It’s like being near you is healing me.”
He smiled as she leaned across the table with her handkerchief to wipe his face. His eyes were a little glassy, but his expression was otherwise warm.
“What happened while you were gone?”
Edgar sighed as she sat back across from him at the tiny table they had last shared before he left. Back when her biggest concern had been wedding planning.
“It started well. At least, I think it did. The Count was so hospitable. They threw me a little soiree the night I arrived. The Countess and her sister were very welcoming. Every night they had a feast for me; I never ate so well in my life. Even after I got sick, they still made me so many steaks and lamb.”
“Did they eat with you?”
“The women took their meals separately, but The Count would be at the table with me. He actually served me.”
Caroline paused; the strange eating habits weren’t a surprise, but that certainly was. “Really, why?”
“He said they didn’t like to keep many servants around. He said it was a waste to hire someone to bring me a plate every night.”
Likely because they kept draining their servants, but she held her tongue. She wasn’t sure if Edgar’s memories were fractured and she would be delicate with him until he healed.
“But did he eat with you?”
Edgar looked at her, tilting his head, and it took him some time before he frowned. “You know, I cannot remember if he ate or not. I remember him sitting across from me many nights with a glass of red wine, but I can’t remember if he ever ate.”
Caroline was careful not to show a reaction. She was sure they fed from him, but he didn’t smoke when he stepped from the carriage. Beyond a bite, she wasn’t sure how else to confirm it.
Though if he had been bitten, she didn’t know why he was unaffected by sunlight.
“You know,” she said carefully, “when I didn’t hear from you for so long it worried me.”
Guilt throbbed within her. She had been mildly annoyed with how infrequently she heard from him, but it wasn’t until she saw him in the afternoon light that she realized he had been trapped with Valeria’s family for weeks.
She couldn’t imagine the horrors he had faced, while she had never considered he was even in danger.
Because she had known Valeria was a vampire for some time. Had known The Count was dangerous, but she hadn’t even been scared for her fiancé who was trapped in his home.
“I know, my sweet. I meant to write more, but I wasn’t feeling well.
Once I started feeling better, I only cared about being well enough to return to you.
The Count was so generous to lend me his best carriage and horses so I could get here as quickly as possible.
I should have sent you notice, but I only wished to see your sweet face again. ”
Her annoyance softened because he was being sweet. And she had been untrue to him as he was slowly being drained on his business trip. She truly was the worst fiancée. He deserved far better than her.
“You’re here now, and that’s what’s important.”
“Too true,” he said with a slight curve of his lips that reminded her of how he used to be. “How have things been here? I’m surprised your parents haven’t come down yet. Usually they won’t give us this much time alone.”
“They’re at the coast. My father fell ill, and Dr. Murnau thought some time at the seaside would be good for him.”
“I hope he didn’t catch what Lady Valeria has. The Count told me she has a very nasty disease. I was so worried about her being here with you once he told me how serious it was.”
“There’s no need for concern because he caught something else, and I haven’t been affected by Valeria’s illness.”
“Good. The Count was so cryptic at times that I feared you would be dead by the time I got here.”
A chill ran down her spine. She couldn’t believe how stupid she had been.
Of course, killing her had been Valeria’s plan.
That was likely her plan the entire time; she had even had dreams that hinted at it, but Caroline had been so thoroughly stupid.
So desperate to believe Valeria loved her back—could love at all—that she had been too stupid to realize she wasn’t special to her.
And she had spent her entire day worried Valeria had somehow burned to death in a ditch outside while she had likely spent the time before dawn planning Caroline’s demise.
“We’ll get your parents back from the coast so we can get married.”
Caroline blinked at the sudden pivot in conversation, but she slowly nodded. There was no reason to hold off their marriage any longer. “I’ll let the church know tomorrow, and we can start sending out invitations.”
As they spent the rest of their afternoon together, she built walls around her heart.
She may not be able to force herself to love Edgar, but she could force herself not to love Valeria.
Distance would help, but the best reminder would be her cruel treatment of the people around her.
Edgar. Her father. Nelly. The people of her village.
She couldn’t overlook the harm Valeria had caused. Not this time.
When Mrs. Thomas called them to dinner, Caroline took Edgar’s arm with a smile.
As they tucked into their seats across the table from one another, she knew this was a sneak peek at what the rest of their life would be together.
Looking at him didn’t give her butterflies, but no part of her feared him.
They could walk together in the sun, and that would be enough. More than enough.
“This looks so cozy. It’s a shame I wasn’t invited.”