33. Chapter 33
Ody barely remembered leaving the building. One moment he was running down the stairs, the next he was on a bus home, Mano’s voice still looping in his head. The heat of his breath. The grip on his chin.
By the time he reached his stop, his stomach was still tight. He walked toward his building and froze when he saw Kash waiting near the entrance.
“Hey.”
Ody stopped a few steps away, his keys tight in his hand. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you before you left.”
“No.” He didn’t raise his voice. “We don’t have anything else to say.” He moved toward the door, jaw clenched.
Kash stepped in his path, not touching him but close enough to block him. “Please. I won’t keep you long.”
Just the sight of him brought everything back. Stella. The lies. The deal. Kash holding him down. Mano bleeding. The whole thing twisted in his head like smoke.
“Move,” Ody said, cold and controlled.
“Ody… just hear me out. Please.”
“Why should I? You think I forgot what you and your sister did? What you admitted that night?” He shook his head slowly. “You shouldn’t even be near me.”
Kash swallowed, eyes glistening with something like panic. “I know. I know what it looks like. I just… I need to explain.”
“You explained,” Ody snapped. “I believed you once. I won’t do it again.”
Kash took half a step closer, lowering his voice. “You don’t have to forgive me. I’m not asking that. I just want to say goodbye before everything at school gets worse next semester. That’s all.”
Ody stared at him. He didn’t want him inside. Didn’t even want him that close. The anger from yesterday still beat under his skin like a pulse.
But Kash’s voice carried something raw. Not manipulation this time. Just regret. And Ody still needed answers, even if he didn’t trust himself to want them.
Silence settled between them.
Then Ody pushed the key into the lock. “Five minutes. That’s it.”
Kash let out a slow breath, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.
Ody stepped inside the apartment first, not turning his back until Kash passed him. Even after closing the door, his hand lingered on the handle, his guard still up. He finally turned to Kash. “Wait here.”
Kash nodded, unsure, staying still near the entrance like he was afraid to move without permission.
Ody walked straight to the bathroom without another word. He needed the water. Needed those five minutes to breathe, to calm the shaking in his chest, to scrub away the sweat from basketball and the even worse feeling of Mano’s hands still lingering on him.
He stood under the water longer than he meant to, but not long enough to think clearly, to erase anything.
When he stepped out, he dried off quickly, pulled on clean sweatpants and a T-shirt, and looked at himself in the mirror. His pulse was still too fast, his thoughts still in places they shouldn’t be.
He left the bedroom. Kash was exactly where he’d left him, standing stiffly in the middle of the hallway. His eyes lifted the second Ody appeared, equal parts hopeful and scared.
Ody crossed his arms and leaned against the wall, guarded. “Alright. Talk.”
Kash swallowed before speaking. “I wanted to thank you for letting me get to know you. You’re a good guy. You didn’t deserve the lies, or the way we treated you. I’ll never stop being sorry for that.”
Ody nodded, but there was nothing encouraging about it. It was the kind of nod people give when they’re waiting for the real reason someone showed up. “Is that all?” he asked.
Kash looked down. His foot shifted on the floor. “I really like you, Ody,” he admitted, voice small. “I know I didn’t handle anything right. I just… wanted to say that you showed me empathy I didn’t deserve.” He let out a shaky breath. “Even after everything I did.”
The words landed somewhere uncomfortable inside Ody.
He didn’t know why his chest felt tight hearing them.
And he hated that something about Kash being this close made his stomach dip, the same way it had dipped earlier today when Mano pinned him against a door with nothing but a towel around his hips.
He blinked and realized Kash had taken a small step toward him. Close enough for Ody to notice how nervous he was, to feel the shift in the air.
“Ody,” Kash whispered, eyes searching his face, “Can I kiss you? For one last time?”
The question hung between them, heavy. Ody should have said no. He knew that. Kash had lied to him. Hurt Mano. Hurt him. None of this should have been happening.
But something in his body betrayed him. That flutter he felt earlier.
The way heat sparked in his chest whenever Mano stood too close.
The way Mano’s voice kept replaying in his mind like it was carved into his skin.
Why was he reacting like this? Why did he feel like he was on the edge of something he didn’t understand?
He didn’t answer. He didn’t agree, but also didn’t refuse. He just didn’t move away. And that was all the permission Kash needed.
He leaned in carefully, giving Ody one last chance to pull away.
When Ody didn’t, Kash closed the distance and pressed his lips to his.
The first touch was slow, almost gentle, but then something broke in him and the kiss deepened.
It felt like Kash needed it, like he had been holding his breath for months and this was the only way he knew how to let it out.
He exhaled against Ody’s mouth. “God, I’m gonna miss those lips.”
Ody’s pulse kicked hard. He hated how his body reacted and how warm that sentence felt in his chest. But the way Kash kissed him, the way his voice sounded so close, so soft, made something inside him tilt off balance.
He didn’t understand any of it. Why this felt like something. Why his thoughts kept snapping back to Mano. To the way Mano’s breath slid down his neck earlier, to the heat of his skin, to the look in his eyes when he whispered at the door. It made no sense. None of this made sense.
Kash’s lips blurred his thoughts for a moment, softening the panic and the spiral in his head. Even though Ody hated it, he leaned in, his body betraying him.
Kash kissed him deeper, and something in Ody snapped. His breath hitched, pulse spiking as the image of Mano at the door slammed into his mind.
He kissed Kash harder, desperate now.
Kash let out a startled sound, his hands tightening on Ody’s shoulders. Ody barely noticed. His body moved before his mind could catch up, pushing Kash back step by step.
Kash’s heel hit the couch. Ody didn’t stop. He shoved him down hard enough to knock the breath from him. Kash landed against the cushions, staring up in shock.
“What’s gotten into you?” he whispered, breathless.
Ody hovered over him, pulse wild. “You said you wanted to say goodbye.”
Kash stared up at him, chest rising fast. Ody caught the swallow in his throat, felt the heat of his breath between them. Something in Kash’s eyes shifted, confusion giving way to want.
Ody leaned down and kissed him harder, almost clinging.
Kash responded instantly, hands sliding up his back, fingers tightening.
The kiss deepened, messy and warm. Their bodies pressed together, Ody’s breath turning harsh. He hated how good it felt. How easily his body gave in.
Because every time he closed his eyes, it wasn’t Kash he saw.
It was Mano.
His mouth. His breath. His voice in his ear.
The memory burned through him.
Kash’s lips left his for a second, brushing along Ody’s jaw, then his neck.
Ody’s breath caught, fingers curling in the fabric of Kash’s shirt as the heat pooled low in his stomach. “Careful,” he murmured.
“Don’t worry,” Kash whispered back, kissing along the side of his throat. “I want you.”
Ody’s eyes closed. His whole body tensed in a way that made it hard to breathe. The voice. The warmth. The closeness. For a heartbeat, it was Mano again, leaning into him the same way earlier, close enough to taste the tension in the air.
Ody’s fingers slid under Kash’s shirt without thinking, pushing the fabric up, wanting more contact, more heat, anything to make the confusion inside him go quiet for a second.
Kash pulled his shirt off, breathing harder now. Ody followed, pulling his own over his head. Their chests pressed together, skin to skin. Kash kissed him again, hungrier this time, like he had been waiting for this moment and didn’t know how long it would last.
Ody let himself sink into it, just for a moment. Into the warmth, the distraction that felt safer than thinking about Mano.
Kash’s lips trailed down Ody’s chest, slow and deliberate, until his breath trembled in his throat.
“Do that thing you did last time,” Ody whispered.
Kash’s tongue flicked over Ody’s nipple, and he jerked under the touch, a low sound slipping out before he could stop it.
“Is this what you want?” Kash murmured, warm breath brushing his skin.
Ody nodded, but his mind was a mess. The confusion and the memory of Mano pinning him to the door tangled with everything Kash was making him feel until he couldn’t tell what belonged to whom anymore.
Kash sucked again, slower this time, and Ody’s back arched in response.
“I love seeing you like this,” Kash said.
Ody opened his eyes when Kash paused. His breath was still uneven. “Why did you stop?”
“Because of this.” Kash’s gaze dropped to the hard outline in Ody’s sweatpants.
Heat rushed through Ody’s face.
Kash’s expression softened. “Sorry,” he said gently. “I know you don’t want to—”
“No, I do.” Ody pushed himself up. The words came out too fast, too eager. Even he heard it.
“Are you sure?” Kash asked, voice searching his face for doubt.
“Yeah. I want it.”
He slid his hand down and cupped him over the fabric. Ody exhaled shakily, his head falling back as Kash pushed his sweatpants lower, fingers brushing the waistband of his boxers.
“You sure you want this?” Kash whispered, more careful this time.
“Shut up and do it,” Ody said, breathless.