39. Chapter 39
Morning light slipped through the curtains, warming the sheets. Ody stirred, blinking himself awake, and felt Anna’s body curled against him. Her leg over his, her face tucked into his neck, her breath soft and warm on his skin. His stomach tightened instantly.
For a moment he just lay there, staring at the ceiling, the memories of last night crashing back with full force. Mano’s mouth on his. The way Ody had kissed him like he had no girlfriend at all. Everything he shouldn’t have done.
A cold wave of guilt rolled through him so fast it made his chest tighten. He shut his eyes again, like that could undo any of it. What the hell had he done?
Anna shifted sleepily, nuzzling into him. Her innocence in the moment made the guilt worse. He felt sick with it. He didn’t deserve to touch her. He didn’t deserve the warmth of her breath on his skin. Not after what he did, and after the way he had kissed Mano like he belonged to him.
Anna stirred beside him, stretching before lifting her head. “Good morning, baby,” she whispered.
Ody forced his eyes open. “Morning…” The word scraped out of him, barely there.
She smiled, relaxed and glowing, completely unaware of the storm twisting inside him. She leaned in, kissed his shoulder, and sat up to get dressed, humming as she moved around the room.
Ody stayed still for a moment, the guilt sinking deeper with every breath he took. When he finally moved, it was slow and heavy, like his body didn’t want to follow him. He dressed, pulling on his clothes with stiff hands.
His mind wouldn’t stop replaying Mano’s face, the hurt in his eyes and the way he had looked at him before walking away on the beach. Every memory hit like a weight he couldn’t shake off. By the time they stepped out of the room, Ody felt like he was walking underwater.
Downstairs, the breakfast area was loud with voices and clinking plates. Christina lifted her hand as they approached. “Good morning, guys!”
Ody managed a small nod.
“Day three in Serifos,” Steve announced like a TV host. “How’s the energy today?”
“Amazing,” Anna said cheerfully. “This trip keeps getting better.”
They headed toward the buffet just as Mano and Ranya came down the stairs. “Morning!” she called.
Everyone greeted them, but Ody’s gaze caught on Mano’s expression instantly. Blank. Cold. A wall where softness had been last night.
The group headed to the tables while Ody lingered behind, heart pounding, eyes tracking Mano as he approached the buffet. Ranya filled her plate and left.
“Good morning,” Ody said.
Mano didn’t look at him.
“Did your headache go away? Are you feeling better?”
Nothing.
Ody reached out, touching his arm lightly. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
Mano turned his head slowly. His eyes burned with a razor-sharp anger that made Ody’s breath hitch. “You’re the biggest bastard I’ve ever met.”
Ody’s stomach dropped. “What?”
Mano took a slow breath, like he needed it to keep from exploding.
“You sat with me last night telling me you want me, that you can’t stop thinking about me,” he said.
“You kissed me like you meant it. You said you wanted me all to yourself.” His jaw tightened.
“And a few hours later, you fucked Anna.”
Ody’s throat closed. He didn’t have to ask how Mano knew. Of course he knew. The rooms were close. The wall was thin. His voice failed him, and he stood there in complete silence, guilt burning so hot he thought his skin might crack from it.
Mano swallowed, hurt twisting into anger. “I heard her. I heard you.”
Ody swallowed hard. Shame clawed up his throat until it felt like he could barely breathe. “Mano, please… Let me explain.”
Mano let out a bitter, humorless laugh. “‘I never played with you,’ right?” He mocked Ody’s words from the night before. “What a joke.”
“Mano—”
“I fucking hate you.” Mano spat the words like they tasted bitter.
They didn’t just hit Ody. They went straight through him.
His heart dropped so fast it felt like it actually hurt.
Heat rushed into his face and then drained out just as quickly, leaving him cold all over.
He had expected anger. He had expected cursing, yelling, maybe even a shove.
But that… Those four words… They hollowed him out.
His mouth opened, but nothing came out. He felt sick with what he had done, with how badly he’d hurt him, and how right Mano was to say it.
Mano turned to leave, but Ody grabbed his wrist, desperation tightening his grip. “Mano, please—”
“Let go.” He didn’t raise his voice. It was quiet and dangerous. He leaned in, his eyes cold. “You really don’t wanna make a scene in front of everyone,” he said, his tone sharp enough to cut. “So get your hand off me.”
Ody’s gaze flicked to the table. Steve and the others were laughing about something, completely unaware.
His grip loosened a fraction, but he didn’t let go right away.
His fingers stayed on Mano’s wrist, barely holding on, like his body hadn’t caught up to what his mind already knew.
Mano’s eyes cut down to the touch. Cold. Ody felt the message like a blow.
His fingers uncurled one by one, slow and reluctant, until his hand fell from Mano’s skin completely.
The absence of that contact killed him. Mano didn’t spare him a glance.
He turned and walked away, shoulders stiff, jaw set, leaving Ody standing there with his empty hand hanging uselessly at his side.
He stayed exactly where he was, staring at the floor, the weight of what he had done pressing down on him. The sounds of forks and plates and casual conversation drifted from the table behind him, normal and loud in a way that made him feel even more out of place.
He forced himself to turn around and walk back, sitting with the others like nothing had happened.
He barely heard Steve teasing Antony about the bacon, or Christina laughing with Anna.
He nodded when someone spoke to him, pretending he was fine, he was present, even though every part of him felt hollow.
When breakfast finally ended, everyone stood to leave. Afterward, they split into cars. Mano sat in the front seat, turned completely toward the window the entire ride.
At the beach, everyone ordered drinks. Everyone except Mano, who didn’t even stop at the chairs. He walked straight into the water and dove under the surface without a word. His body cut through the waves fast, like he needed the distance.
Ody barely heard anything around him. Anna asked something. Steve made a joke. It all sounded far away.
He pushed back his chair and stood up. “I’m going in.”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “You’re not waiting for us again?”
“I came to swim, didn’t I?”
“Sunscreen, babe,” Anna reminded him, reaching for the bottle.
“Later.” He didn’t wait for a response. He pulled off his shirt, stepped into the surf, and waded until the water reached his waist. His heart was pounding hard enough to hurt, every beat reminding him of Mano’s eyes at the buffet, the way he had looked at him like he meant nothing.
Ody dove under and swam straight out toward the buoys, searching the open water for Mano’s silhouette. When he spotted him past a cluster of rocks, he swam faster. Mano saw him approaching and turned away, cutting through the water to avoid him. Ody pushed harder. Mano pushed too.
Finally, Ody caught up enough to shout. “Mano, stop!”
He spun, furious. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“And I don’t wanna listen. Leave me alone.” He tried to swim away again, but Ody blocked him.
“Please. Just let me explain.”
“You already did,” Mano snapped. “Last night. And then again when you were screwing your girlfriend.”
Ody swallowed hard, the salt water stinging his throat.
“Mano… I know how it looks. I know I messed everything up. I know I hurt you,” he said, barely above the sound of the waves.
“But you have to understand, I didn’t plan any of this.
I didn’t wake up one day thinking I’d ruin everything or… or kiss you like that.”
He dragged a shaking hand through his wet hair.
“Anna and I have been together for two years. We’ve been through a lot.
I care about her, I love her. I’m not gonna pretend I don’t.
” His chest rose and fell too fast, guilt twisting deep inside him.
“But when I’m with you… it feels different.
It scares the hell out of me. It’s like something in me breaks open and I don’t know how to stop it.
” His voice cracked, the water around them rippling with the tension in his body.
“I tried to ignore it. I tried to push it away. I told myself it wasn’t real.
That it was just confusion or stress or whatever.
But every time I look at you, it gets worse.
Every time you talk to me, every time you touch me, I feel it more.
And I don’t know what to do with that, Mano.
I don’t know how to make it stop.” He took one shaky breath.
“I’m not lying to you. I swear I’m not. Everything I said last night was real. All of it.”
For a moment, Mano didn’t say anything. He just stared at Ody, breathing hard, water dripping from his lashes as he tried to keep his expression cold. But Ody could see it. The way Mano’s jaw clenched. The way his chest rose too fast, like he was fighting something inside him.
Mano wanted to believe him.
Ody could feel it in the silence between them, in the way Mano’s anger was shifting into something deeper, something afraid. Because trusting him meant opening the same door Ody had slammed in his face last night. And Mano wasn’t sure he could survive that twice.
He looked at Ody with disgust. “Don’t do this. Don’t make me part of whatever game you’re playing.”
“It’s not a game.”
“It is,” Mano said. “You want both. You want the safety of your girlfriend and the thrill of sneaking around with me. That’s what this is.”
Ody’s eyes widened, hurt flashing across his face.
“No. That’s not true.” His voice shook, and it wasn’t from the cold water.
“I never wanted this to be some thrill. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt her either. I’m just…
” His head dropped, struggling to breathe normally.
“I’m just messed up right now. I’m trying to make sense of something I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling. ”
Mano didn’t respond, but his jaw clenched hard, like he didn’t want to hear a single word Ody was saying.
“If I were single,” he said, his voice low, “this would be different. But I can’t stay away from you.”
For a moment, the world seemed to pause. Only the waves moved between them, soft and steady. Ody’s eyes stayed locked on Mano’s, desperate, waiting, hoping to finally hear the truth Mano kept shoving down.
But instead of softening, Mano’s expression hardened. Completely. Like something inside him snapped shut.
He looked at him with a coldness Ody had never seen before. “You can’t stay away? That’s your fucking problem. I don’t want you anywhere near me.”
Ody’s breath caught. “Mano, please—”
“I don’t give a shit about your feelings.”
The words hit Ody like a punch under the ribs.
Mano’s face hovered inches from Ody’s. “Go back to your girlfriend. Go fuck whoever you want. I don’t care.” His eyes were hard. “Just leave me out of your mess.”
Ody’s heart dropped so fast it felt like it drowned inside him. “Mano…” he whispered, but the sound barely made it out.
He held Ody’s gaze for one brutal heartbeat, letting the silence cut deeper than the words. Before Ody could say another word, Mano dunked his head under the water and swam off with strong, furious strokes, not looking back even once.
Ody stayed exactly where he was, alone in the waves. The salt water splashed against his face, but it didn’t hide the thin shine gathering in his eyes. He blinked hard, trying to swallow it down, but the sting only grew sharper.
He watched Mano disappear into the distance, realizing with a hollow, sickening certainty that this time, he might have lost him for real.