Chapter 22 Genevieve
Genevieve
The cold rain beats against the carriage window as I look out at the passing townspeople hurrying through the deluge. If there were any rot left in Covington Park, it’s surely gone now.
The rain has continued for two days, and it’s left me in a desolate mood.
Two more flowers greeted me each morning when I awoke, and I assume they’re from Kieran.
But between caring for Mari, making final arrangements for the wedding, and working with the constables to uncover who is spreading the rot, I’ve been far too tired at night to notice his late visits.
I also had to sign the marriage contract.
I accepted the stipulation that I must marry Prince Leland and invite him to my bed—or relinquish the match so one of my siblings might take my place.
It feels wrong to put our marriage in such stark, unequivocal terms. So binding that I feel stifled at the thought of marrying him.
I’ve needed time and privacy to sort through my feelings, and I’ve let myself reflect on what I truly want.
I want what’s best for my country. I want to provide stability and peace to both our kingdoms. But most of all, I want a loving partnership.
I’ve hoped that Leland and I could reach that point, but I fear we misunderstand each other more than I expected.
Yet if I don’t marry him, I’ll be forcing someone else into an arranged marriage.
I’m still hurt by the way he brought up such an intimate matter so publicly, instead of coming to me privately to discuss his concerns. It makes me worry what sort of partnership we’ll have.
Then there’s Kieran. He’s all I think about when I allow my mind to wander. There’s a magnetism growing between us—a fusion of our past and the connection that never died. I know a path with Kieran is impossible. No one would allow it.
The carriage comes to a halt at The Wild Rose, and a footman opens the door for me. Another holds an umbrella over my head as I walk into the blissfully empty shop.
Clementine greets me with a tight hug. “Oh, Genny! I’m so happy you came. I was worried when I read your letter. Is everything alright?”
I step back, placing my gloved hands on her bare arms. “Yes, well, there’s nothing urgent. Mari is healing well. She even took a walk in the gardens today. But I needed my friend.”
“Of course. Come, sit.” She directs me toward two high-backed chairs near the back of the shop. They’re private enough that no one from outside will see I’m here, especially since I told the coachman to park in the alley.
Clemmy brings over a tray of pastries, and I choose one topped with candied cherries. “Now, tell me what’s on your mind.”
I don’t hold back. I came here for a reason; I need to share my heart with someone. Usually that would be Astoria, but she’s observed too much. I need a fresh perspective if I’m to make the right decision.
“I think I may be making a mistake by marrying Leland Frostclaw. He’s everything I wanted in an alliance, and he’s a suitable husband, but I fear we’ll never have that spark couples in love carry. I thought I could live without it, but my mind has changed.”
Clemmy studies me carefully between bites of pastry. “But you’ve said yourself that you could never fall in love again—not with your curse preventing true feelings from developing. What changed your mind? Is it nerves about the wedding?”
I bite my lip, then tell her the truth. “Kieran returned.”
She gasps, choking on her pastry. Taking a sip of tea, she stares at me incredulously. “But that’s impossible. He’s dead.”
I shake my head. “He won’t tell me why he stayed away, but he’s taken on a new identity. He’s Morris Blackwell.”
“The helachite businessman? But that’s impossible! He doesn’t even look like Kieran. Maybe a little around the eyes, but Genny, don’t do this. He’s not Kieran. He’s a swindler and a liar. He must have learned about Kieran and is playing you to ruin your chances with Prince Leland.”
She looks at me as though I’m gullible—a princess without worldly sense. It stings, knowing even my closest friend sees me as na?ve. Yet everyone around me expects me to run the kingdom. Shouldn’t they want me to be less gullible? Shouldn’t they treat me like the rational adult I am?
“If only it were that simple,” I mutter. “I’d never fall for such a trick. It’s him, Clemmy—and to make matters worse, he kissed me at my engagement party. He saved me from the spreading rot and kissed me to prove that I still felt something for him.”
Clemmy’s eyebrows lift, and she purses her lips. “Well?”
“That’s why I’m so confused! I felt dread when Prince Leland kissed me, but with Kieran, it was as if my soul were afire. I haven’t felt that way since… since I was nineteen. These last few weeks have made me wonder if we could become something great.”
She looks at me with such pity that I want to tell her to stop, but I hold my tongue. I don’t want to be rude, not when she may still offer clarity. “Do you know what he wants?”
I blush. “All I know is that he claims he wants to ruin me, but he’s done nothing to demonstrate that. He’s still as affected by me as I am by him.”
She shakes her head. “I’m in a mixed redblood and blueblood marriage. The court doesn’t accept me, and while Griffin tries his best not to show how it bothers him, I know it does. I don’t know how you’d ever gain your mother’s or the council’s approval to marry a redblood.”
I sigh and drop my gaze to the table. “I know. The idea of marrying Kieran feels as impossible now as it did when I was nineteen.”
“Then marry the prince. Send Mr. Blackwell away and don’t let thoughts of him linger.
You’ve said yourself you don’t have the luxury of marrying for love.
Why would it be any different with Mr. Blackwell?
He’ll still be affected by your curse, just as any other man has been.
Don’t you think it will hurt the love you feel for him—wondering if what he feels is false? ”
Tears well in my eyes. I know my duty, and I’ve feared our shared kiss was only Kieran’s reaction to my curse.
What if he truly does hate me?
Betraying this arrangement with Icelantica, only to have my heart broken, would be too much to endure.
“You’re right. I can’t cancel my wedding.”
She nods, then stands and wraps me in a warm hug. I don’t stop the tears that run down my cheeks onto her shoulder.