Chapter 30 Genevieve
Genevieve
Iwater my blooming begonias with a tenderness reserved only for my plants. After all, my plants never disappoint me. They never work to harm me or turn away from me because of my curse.
The past few days have been too much, and all I want is the comfort of my glasshouse. I’ve not only lost Kieran for a second time, but I fear I’ve also lost any chance of marrying Leland—and may have forced my sisters into an arranged marriage neither of them wanted.
I turn toward a rare orchid, wiping its leaves with a soft cloth, when I hear the click on the door.
“May I come in, Princess?”
I turn to see Leland, dark circles under his eyes and a severe expression on his face. “Of course. Are you well?” There’s a small trail of blue blood on his throat, evidence of a fresh wound.
“Not exactly, but I will be.” He takes in the room, brushing his fingers across the leaves of a philodendron before delicately touching the blossoms of a freshly potted Begonia Gen. “These are beautiful.”
“Thank you. This is my refuge. I often come here to think and escape the court.” I want to ask him to leave—to keep this sanctuary free from regret and pain—but I know we need to have the conversation that’s coming.
Leland looks at me with a cool stare, his usually warm countenance gone. “I can see why. I hate to intrude on your peace, but I need to speak with you.”
Of course, even now, Leland would recognize that this conversation could tarnish my one escape from the world. “Would you like to go somewhere else?”
“How about a walk?” He gives me a sad smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and I know our engagement is over.
I’ve lost the alliance I worked so hard to secure and may have forced one of my sisters into a fate they never wanted.
Will they live here, or will Leland now return to Icelantica to continue supporting his sister?
“A walk sounds lovely.” I remove my work gloves and apron, wiping my hands before checking my dress for stains. Then I pick up my silk gloves and slide them on as Leland holds the door open for me.
The air outside is sweet and warm—not nearly as stifling as the glasshouse, but fresher, carrying the promise of new life and abundance.
“I wanted to let you know I’ve asked Mr. Blackwell not to return,” I say as we walk toward the topiary.
He nods thoughtfully. “I encountered him this morning as well. I wasn’t quite myself when I saw him. I’ll admit I had far too much to drink last night—and far too much time to wallow in my own self-pity this morning.”
“Leland, don’t do that.” My tone softens. I don’t want to be the reason this man hurts. He’s a good man who deserves happiness.
“No, it’s true. I fought him this morning, and he left this little reminder that he bested me.” Leland touches his throat, and a chill crawls over my skin.
“He wouldn’t!”
“It was my fault, really. I lost my senses when I saw him and didn’t choose a practice sword. It should be no surprise he did the same. He could have hurt me worse if he’d wanted, but he didn’t. The thing is, though, the damage is done. He’s betrayed me, and I’ve lost all trust in him.”
“Because of me? I’m so sorry, Leland.”
He shakes his head, slowing his pace. “No, not because of you. I hope I can be honest when I say our engagement is a political one—one I hoped would grow into deeper affection. I have great respect for you. But his betrayal is my own burden. I thought of Morris as a good friend, someone I could trust and who shared my ideals for the future. But it seems that was all a lie to get closer to you. He’s hurt me, and for that I don’t know if I can forgive him. ”
We stop on the path. Sunlight filters through the trees, and birds are singing. “Please, give us another chance—free of Blackwell’s presence. I want to give our countries the best opportunities moving forward, and I still believe our marriage is the best way to secure this alliance.”
I don’t add that I feel guilty placing the burden of the alliance on one of my sisters. I don’t know how Leland feels about switching one bride for another, or how much he must resent his own sister for pushing such an agreement.
Leland looks toward the palace in the distance.
“There are two matters I’ve been wrestling with.
One is Blackwell’s betrayal of our friendship.
The other is the incompatibility between us.
I cannot marry you, knowing that any attempt at intimacy would leave us both unable to make clear decisions. It isn’t fair to either of us.”
A sinking feeling grips my chest. This is it. I’ve ruined my chance at marriage.
“I understand,” I whisper. “Is there any way you’d reconsider?”
He shakes his head, his gaze steady but kind. “I want us to move forward with a different marriage. My sister and I talked last night, and I believe we’ll have an arrangement by the end of the week.”
“We should let both queens know. The wedding is so close—I don’t want anyone to continue preparing for something that won’t be happening.”
My cheeks burn crimson as embarrassment floods me. I’ve failed at the one thing I thought I could control as a future queen.
He reaches for my hand, and I resist the urge to pull away and close myself off from him. “Genevieve, I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, which is why I’m making this decision. I hope I can still call you a friend, even if I can’t call you my wife.”
I relax a little, knowing he’s telling the truth. He’s a good, decent man, and I shouldn’t have tried to force this arrangement. My mind drifts to Kieran—he’s probably already gone by now, thanks to me pushing him away again.
I want to run to him, to feel his arms around me, his lips press a kiss to my hair.
I want to hear him tell me again what he believes I can do as queen.
How he believes in me, despite what everyone else says.
I want to tell him how he makes me feel braver, more reckless, more like the person I’m meant to be.
I never thought Kieran could be my future when he’s always felt like my past, but perhaps this is the chance we could have. He’s never flinched from my curse, and maybe there’s still a part of him that loves me for who I am.
“Friend, yes. I’d like that, Leland.”
We walk side by side toward the front of the palace, silence between us as I think about my next steps.
A coach is being prepared to leave, and I turn to see if it’s Kieran’s. He looks at me through the window, his expression resolute as he tips his head in acknowledgment. I nod before turning away.
Leland gives me a curious look. “You don’t need to send him away on my account.
It’s evident to everyone there’s more between you two than you’ve allowed yourself to believe.
Despite what he’s done to me, I still believe he wants the best for the miners and railway workers—but he doesn’t trust that you do.
Go to him. Show him you aren’t your mother. ”
I shake my head. “That’s impossible.”
Leland’s brows crease. “You’re going to be queen of this kingdom in two years’ time. It will be your decision how you reign, not your mother’s. An advantageous marriage won’t solve the problems in this country. Only you can do that.”
I pull back, a burst of laughter escaping me. “You’re right! I’ll ask him to stay.”
Leland smiles. “Best of luck, Genny.”
I take his hand and give it a squeeze before turning from one choice and walking toward another—to the man who’s never left my heart.
Kieran has told me all along that all he wants is for one of the Ashcrofts to take the mining problem seriously, to believe he’s working to fix this country’s injustices, and even I’ve discounted him.
No longer. I want nothing more than to be a queen who values all her people—bluebloods and redbloods alike. This is my chance to prove to Kieran that I care.
I lift my skirts, my delicate slippers flashing as I run toward Kieran’s coach.
The air is warm, far too warm for running, but I smile as the breeze rushes through my bound hair.
Running to Kieran Greenbluff feels like the most reckless thing I’ve ever done.
But perhaps I’ve lived long enough without taking chances.
Kieran opens the door, a satisfied smile curving his lips. “Princess,” he says, pulling me in and signaling the coachman to drive.