Chapter 22
I walked across the bridge from Southbank, breathing in the fresh air. The light drizzle from this morning had cleared, and London was trying its best to show blue skies amongst pockets of clouds.
I was glad to get off the train. I’d tried to read my book but found myself obsessively checking my phone, checking to see if Mum had called, checking to see what the latest on the news was. Neither was conducive to a relaxing journey.
I headed down the stairs to the end of the bridge towards Embankment and saw Noah standing at the bottom.
He had a takeaway coffee cup in one hand and his phone in the other, immersed in his own little world of scrolling.
Still, after all this time, I felt that flutter in my belly when I saw him.
It was always the same, that fleeting feeling that washed over my body before my brain kicked into gear and reminded me that I wasn’t supposed to feel that anymore.
He was wearing a down jacket with a black hoodie underneath.
It was the first time I’d seen him in anything so casual in years.
It almost reminded me of the Noah that I’d met in Calais.
I’m pretty sure he’d been wearing a hoodie that day, his Abercrombie I barely did for any of my friends.
Now their children were the recipients at Christmas and birthdays, despite the fact that in hindsight it was probably their parents that needed the little treat – the children already far too spoilt by doting grandparents and the whole class from school when they were invited to a party.
‘Ah, here they are,’ said Noah, pointing behind me, a little too much relief in his voice that there were people to rescue us from the awkwardness that had descended. I turned and saw Amy and Paul.
Amy gave me a squeeze so tight that I almost couldn’t breathe.
‘I’m so glad you made it,’ she said, letting me go.
‘Well, it is my birthday.’
‘I know, but you know … ’
I nodded. I did. I didn’t add that I’d thought of cancelling when I got to the station. If the train ticket I’d bought in advance hadn’t been so extortionate then maybe I would have.
‘Where’s Caz? Didn’t you meet her at the hotel?’ Amy asked.
‘No, she was running late. She went to meet up with Nick.’
Her eyes almost popped out of her head. ‘Nick, as in Nick Nick?’
‘The one and same. He’s living in Walthamstow now.’
‘Huh,’ she said, her brow wrinkling. ‘I’m not sure what’s more surprising: that she’s meeting up with him, or that Nick’s moved to Walthamstow.’
‘It’s not only East 17 that live there now, it’s massively bougie,’ said Noah, chipping into the conversation.
Amy playfully hit Noah on the arm.
‘You make me sound like a snob; I just meant that Nick moved down south. He’s more Mancunian than—’ She paused like she couldn’t think of a cultural reference from Manchester.
‘Than Oasis?’ said Noah.
‘What is it with you and your nineties references today?’ I turned to him.
‘I’ve been listening to a lot of Radio 2.’
‘Mate.’ Paul shook his head. ‘How can you do that?’
‘Do you know, I’m not even sorry. The music actually sounds like music.’
Amy snorted with laughter. ‘OK, Grandad.’
‘What are you talking about? You listen to Smooth Radio in the car. And don’t you pretend you don’t; it’s always on when I get in,’ said Paul.
Amy opened her mouth and shut it again before she shrugged. ‘It sends the kids off to sleep near nap time. And it’s kind of habit.’
‘Admit it, you do it for the Celine Dion power ballads.’
She giggled. ‘Is there a greater pleasure in life than belting out “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now”, safe in the knowledge that no one will hear you?’
Nods rippled around the group like a Mexican wave.
‘Fuck, guys, we’re ancient.’ Noah tutted. ‘I feel like we should head to the nearest pub and get shitfaced.’
Amy looked at her Apple watch, and turned her nose up. ‘If I started drinking now, I’d never make it to the dinner reservation.’
‘Yeah, you can’t handle your drink at the best of times.
’ Paul laughed a little, but it fell flat when Amy didn’t join in.
‘Speaking of us all getting old though, you guys at least don’t look it.
What is it with you two not ageing? Does being born on a leap day give you magical powers for eternal youth. ’
‘Well, it is only our ninth birthday,’ I said.
‘What are you trying to say, that I look haggard in comparison to Lucy?’ Amy had her hands on her hips, not in the same mocking way I’d done earlier with Noah.
‘No,’ said Paul, slowly. I could see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. ‘That’s not what I was saying.’
‘Do you want to know the key to eternal youth? It’s not having two kids.’
She poked him sharply with her finger.
‘And that’s my fault, obviously,’ he muttered under his breath.
‘So,’ said Noah, jumping in before things escalated any further, ‘speaking of the kids, where are they today?’
‘My mum’s got them. Overnight too.’ Paul was raising his eyebrows at Amy but she rolled her eyes.
‘And I am looking forward to a lie-in the morning, and that is all. I do not want four kids in the house.’
‘You realise we only have two … oh, I get it, I’m the third child, and right, judging from that look, if I want to have any chance of ever having sex again, I should just keep quiet.’
‘And finally he’s learning. Only taken umpteen years,’ she muttered.
This wasn’t like Amy and Paul. They were like an old married couple in a cute way, but there was nothing cute about this. Usually their type of bickering showed everyone how well they really knew each other, but this was like Paul’s mere act of breathing was annoying her.
‘Sixteen actually. In fact, sixteen to the day that I met you in our kitchen.’
‘Sixteen years,’ said Noah. ‘It’s not already, is it?’
‘Bloody hell, not another anniversary that we have to celebrate,’ Amy muttered. ‘Paul’s big on anniversary’s – first date, first kiss.’
‘Sorry for being romantic.’
‘Well, I for one am pleased that I met you both sixteen years ago,’ I said, shooting Noah a look in the hope that he’d help plug up the sinking ship.
‘Me too. I can’t believe it was that long ago that we were in Calais with you dressed in … ’ He started to laugh.
‘Oh god,’ I groaned, looking at Amy, and she tried not to laugh too. ‘The Parisian chic.’
‘We watched too much Sex and the City back in the day,’ said Amy. ‘I think we dressed you in something we thought Carrie would have worn.’
‘That hat.’
I gave Noah a look. ‘That hat was of the time.’
‘You know, I’ve still not had an oyster since then.’
Noah gave his shoulder a squeeze in solidarity. ‘If you hadn’t then we might have not been standing outside getting air, and we might not have met Lucy.’
‘I wonder where we would have been if you hadn’t,’ said Amy, a little too wistfully for my liking.
‘Ah, there’s Caz,’ I said, waving at her walking out of the Tube exit.
She didn’t see me; she was walking and typing on her phone, a frown on her face. She shoved the phone back in her pocket, but as she looked around to find us, she saw me and her angry look evaporated, a smile unfolding.
‘The gang’s all here,’ she said, making her way round the group, hugging and air kissing.
‘Good meeting?’ I whispered and she wrinkled her nose up.
‘He cancelled.’
‘Oh, Caz.’ My heart went out to her. I know how much she’d been looking forward to seeing him.
‘Maybe we can chat about it over a nightcap?’
I nodded.
Even though Caz had had boyfriends since Nick, he’d always been ‘the one that got away’.
It was rare we chatted on the phone these days; instead our once long chats had been replaced by snatched WhatsApp messages.
But occasionally when we were late-night messaging, one of us would phone, we’d chat and her regret would spill out.
I’d half hoped, when she’d texted to say that she was meeting him, that it might be the start of something new.
The selfish part of me had hoped it because Edinburgh was a really long, long way away and the thought of having her in Walthamstow was an attractive proposition. But now that wasn’t going to happen.
I blew on my hands to warm them up, as there was a cool, crisp wind coming off the river.
‘Speaking of ages. Happy birthday, you two,’ said Caz. ‘I should give you your present before you turn into an icicle. You’re such a southern softie.’
‘Yeah, for all the years you’ve lived up north, I still don’t think you can say that if you were born in Sussex.’
‘Whatever,’ she said, mock-rolling her eyes. She handed me a little bag and I pulled out a furry snood.
‘Bloody hell, I haven’t seen one of these in years.’ I immediately slipped it over my head. ‘That is much better. OK, before I freeze to death, what is it we’re going to do today?’
We turned to face Amy and Paul. In their only show of unity, they dug into Amy’s bag and pulled out some envelopes.
‘OK, so here are the options. All free museums.’
‘We thought it was in keeping with the sightseeing you guys always do,’ said Paul.
‘Birthday tradition. Can’t mess with them.’ Noah raised his eyebrows and I nodded back.
I thought of Mum and our trip to the museum on the last leap year. It was one of the rare good days we’d had over the last few years. My heart tightened and I had to fight the urge to call and check up on her.
‘We couldn’t pick what to do, so we’ve put a different one in each envelope and you can choose,’ said Amy, fanning them out.
‘Ooh, this feels like we’re on a game show.’ My hand hovered around the red one, and then the blue one, before I finally went for the green. ‘And the winner is … ’
Paul started to do a drum roll on his thighs until he got a look from Amy.
I pulled the card out of the envelope. ‘Tate Modern.’
Amy air punched in victory, I knew it was her very favourite gallery and I tried to share her enthusiasm.
I’d been a few times before, though not for years, and it wasn’t that I didn’t love the buzz of the gallery or the scale of the building, but nothing changed the fact that I just didn’t get a lot of the art.
I’d tried really hard to appreciate it like everyone else, but I’d never been able to.
‘What’s on in the turbine hall?’ asked Caz. ‘I think the last time that I went was with you guys when they had those slides.’
‘I remember those. I remember going on them after I’d had a few G&Ts. Not recommended,’ said Paul, turning up his nose. ‘I’m not sure what’s on at the moment though.’
‘Well, let’s go and find out.’ Amy was brimming with enthusiasm. ‘Shall we walk or get the Tube?’
‘How about we take the Clipper?’ said Caz. She held a hand up before anyone protested. ‘I know we’re keeping costs low, but it’s my treat. Just think of it as you’re indulging me in my fantasy of pretending I’m a Bond Girl.’
‘It’s the Clipper – not a super yacht,’ said Paul.
‘It’s about as close as I’m going to get. Besides, these big birthdays warrant a bit of a fuss.’
‘I do love the Clipper,’ said Amy. ‘Always makes me feel like a tourist.’
‘Which we all know is exactly what we try to be on leap days,’ said Noah, bowing his head. ‘I approve.’