Chapter 5
Sebastian
I wasn’t sure if Ara had been avoiding me, I just hadn’t gotten lucky and seen her, or she hadn’t been working the last couple of days. Whatever it was, after two days of not seeing her, I decided to try a different tactic. It hadn’t been very hard to find out where she lived. Well, it wasn’t hard for my assistant to find out where she lived and inform me. It might have been borderline stalker-ish but I wanted to see her and she hadn’t come to me. What else was a guy to do?
She looked just as sexy, just as amazing, just as incredible as ever. I thought I knew how she had changed, grown, matured when I saw her at the hospital. It wasn’t the same as seeing her up close. Her face was fuller, more mature, her eyes seemed brighter, more intelligent, though she had always been the smartest person I knew. There was a calmness about her, a confidence that had always been there but was even more pronounced now.
Looking at her, I would have instantly fallen in love with her if I hadn’t already been.
She walked slowly toward me as if she had all the time in the world. I wanted to take all the time for her and enjoyed the view, the moment, and the simple chance to look at Aracely Thomas. Her head was tilted slightly and her eyes held what could only be described as annoyance as she stood in front of me.
“Bash, what are you doing here?” she asked.
I loved hearing her say my name. She was one of only a few people who called me Bash. In the industry, I was known as Sebastian. Some people liked to think we were close and called me Anderson. Even one actor liked to call me Andy, but I had never liked that nickname. Bash was the one that mattered the most to me, because it came from Ara.
It took some effort but I fixed my gaze away from Ara and to her building. I looked up at it as if I was seeing it for the first time. I wasn’t. I had walked by the place more times that I care to admit and more than I would ever tell Ara.
“Maybe I’m thinking of moving in here. What are the maintenance fees? Is there a gym?” I asked.
“You just bought a nice co-op near your theater. You don’t strike me as a man who would be looking to move so quickly.”
“I might be willing if the right reasons came along.” I looked back at Ara and held her gaze. Her eyes locked on mine and I let my eyes slowly linger there for a second before moving over her body. I didn’t want her to have any doubt as to what I thought the right reason was. I loved to tease her; she used to love it when I did. It was one of the first things that had attracted me to her, how she wouldn’t take me seriously and gave back as good as I did.
She just held my gaze, daring me to say more. Her look told me she didn’t believe a word I was saying. This was my chance to change her mind. I might mean it in a teasing manner but I was completely serious.
“What? Were there no adoring fans to ogle you tonight so you decided to bother me?” she asked.
I gave her a sheepish smile. “Yeah. Sorry about that. Believe me, that wasn’t how I had wanted that to go.”
“Really? Were you hoping for more fans? Maybe a whole slew of them chasing you down the street. I’m surprised there aren’t any here now.” Ara looked past me and down the street as if she expected to see them.
“You can’t believe everything you read in the tabloids. I’m not the attention whore that everyone makes me out to be.”
“No, you’re just a whore in general,” she spat back. The words hurt but I didn’t let it show. It was what I deserved.
“Again, the stories have been exaggerated. Though I have to say, I’m a little flattered that you’ve been following me.”
“Don’t be absurd. I’ve avoided looking at anything about you.”
I raised an eyebrow at her and knew she was lying. I might be a popular man and it didn’t take much to find information about me, but you still had to look for it. “I doubt that,” I said.
“I don’t care. I don’t care about you. You made it clear you don’t care about me.”
There it was. She might have wanted to make me believe she was over me, but she wasn’t. Her last sentence confirmed it. It gave me the opening I had been looking for. Teasing and flirting with her hadn’t worked. I needed to try and be honest.
“But I do. You have no idea how much,” I said.
“You have a funny way of showing it. What has it been? Five, six years?”
“Seven years, three months and two days.” My voice barely above a whisper.
Ara took in a jagged breath. I could tell she hadn’t expected me to know the exact amount of time it had been since we had last talked. I wanted to tell her I could probably calculate it down to the second, given enough time.
She recovered quickly and said, “You care about me so much that you never tried to contact me. You never so much as liked a social media post. You never sent me a message, a text, a phone call, a letter, a package. Nothing. It’s like I didn’t exist to you.”
“I thought about you every day,” I admitted.
She shook her head at me. “Why would I believe you? Why would I care? You’ve been in town for months and yet you haven’t talked, tried to contact me, or let me know you were here. Those aren’t the actions of someone who missed me. Those are the actions of someone who forgot me.”
“Look at you! Who could ever forget you?” I smiled at her.
“Don’t flatter me. It won’t work,” Ara said but even in the dim light of the street, I swear I saw her blush.
“Are you sure?” I teased and moved closer to her.
Ara lifted her hand up to stop me, “What do you want, Bash? It’s late and I have work in the morning.”
I stopped moving toward her and leaned back. I tried to sound casual when I said, “Work. Yes, at the hospital. You made it. You’re a doctor. Congrats. I know how important that was to you.”
“I’m not going to stand here and discuss my life and my accomplishments, no matter how vast and great they may be. You lost that chance years ago. Have a good night.”
She brushed past me and I inhaled her intoxicating scent of cinnamon and honey. Overcome by the scent and the feelings that it evoked, I closed my eyes and savored her being so close to me. But I kept them closed for too long and when I opened them, she had moved past me. I tried to reach for her, to pull her back to me, but she must have been expecting it because she moved too fast.
“Ara. Wait. Please,” I called.
I could hear the desperation in my voice but I didn’t care. I had come to talk to her and I wasn’t going to let leave until we did. We had a lot to discuss. There was so much that I needed to explain. I could see that she was hurt and she didn’t want to talk to me but if I could tell her everything then maybe she would change her mind.
She didn’t turn around but she stopped. “Why?” she asked.
Her voice was barely above a whisper. She was trying to hide it but I could hear the hurt in that one word. I could also hear her resolve slipping. If I had been a better man, I would have let her go. I would have told her that we would talk another time. I would have said I just needed to know she was okay and I would leave her alone. But I couldn't or wouldn’t do any of those things.
“I missed you.” It was the truth. It was the most truthful I could be with her. I felt in those three words, I was telling her everything she meant to me and everything I thought we could be.
Ara dropped her head and let out a short laugh that almost turned into a sob. I wanted to pull her into my arms. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay. I wanted to apologize for ever leaving her or making her think that I didn’t care. I wanted to tell her I was never going to leave her again. But she wouldn’t believe any of that. She would need more than words to convince her.
I had been foolish to believe otherwise.
“You could have fooled me,” she said.
“I messed up, royally. I know I did. I’m sorry. Please, let me make up for it.”
She turned back to look at me then. I could see the unshed tears in her eyes. In that moment, I could see not only all the hurt that I had caused her, but the anger, and how it fueled what she said. But underneath it, I could still see the slight glimmer of desire, or dare I hoped to call it, love, looking back at me.
It wasn’t much, but I would take anything she would give me. She might hate me right now, but there was a fine line between love and hate. I could work with that. I could find a chink in the armor that kept me at a distance and find a way in.
“No, Bash. It’s too late for that. I would say it is about seven years, three months, and two days too late.” She turned away from me and walked into her apartment complex. I let her go. She needed to have the last word. She needed to think that she had won.
She might have, but that was only the first round. I had come to New York City to win back the woman that I loved. Just because things didn’t go as well as I wanted tonight didn’t mean I was going to give up. Even with all the hate and hurt in Ara’s eyes, I also saw the love. She loved me; I knew she did, even if she wasn’t ready to admit it.
It was my job to show and prove to her that I did love her and she was the only woman for me. And that she loved me and I was the only man for her.
Let the games begin.