Chapter 10
Aracely
“It was then that we kicked her out,” Jack said to Bash and me and we laughed.
“I would have done it hours before, but Jack has a soft spot for the ladies,” Julius, the other bartender, said.
“Not just the ladies. I have a soft spot for all drunks. It’s why I work in a bar,” Jack countered.
“As long as you have a good story to share, that’s the most important thing,” Bash replied.
“And there was no bloodshed,” I added.
“Well, if there is, we do know a good doctor who could help us out,” Jack said and smiled at me.
“I don’t need any calls from either of you in the middle of the night, asking me to patch up someone on the downlow,” I stated.
“Well, there goes that idea,” Julius muttered and we all laughed.
Bash and I had turned into somewhat locals at McCarthy’s. We had come in numerous times over the last few weeks, enjoying a drink or two at the end of my shifts. We always sat at the bar, allowing us to get to know Jack and then Julius, who was affectionately called Jill by the locals.
I wasn’t one who had ever hung out at a bar, at least not an Irish pub. I preferred to go to wine bars and frequented Harry’s with Layla and Ella. I hadn't been able to go out as much since I started my rotations and they got married, but I found I made the time for Bash.
It was evident to see that he was doing the same with me. He didn’t say too much about how rehearsals were going but the toll was evident on his face. He looked tired and I could see the stress he carried in his shoulders. He wasn’t one to complain and anytime I asked how things were going, he was quick to say it was fine. I wanted to push to get him to talk to me but I wasn’t sure where we stood and if it was my place to know.
We were still getting to know each other again. It was a strange dance we were playing. We had a history but it had been years since we had talked. We knew each other, or we had. There was a familiarity but also a newness that made it exciting. There was a lot to catch up on but it wasn’t awkward or forced. It was just easy. I wanted to say that we had fallen into a comfortable friendship but there was still an undercurrent of sexual chemistry between us. It lingered between every conversation we had. Bash never brought it up or made any advances toward me. Not since the first time we met at McCarthy’s. It was sweet on some levels but it only left me more confused and conflicted about how I felt about him and what we were doing.
It was helpful that the atmosphere of McCarthy’s was so laid-back Jack and Jill were friendly, funny, and a little flirtatious with both me and Bash. It was fun to see them tease Bash about his Hollywood status and to have Bash take it all in stride. He teased them right back and seemed to be having the time of his life.
It wasn’t the place I would have thought Bash would frequent. Everything I had seen on social media showed him at the fanciest bar, the hottest night club, and with the most beautiful woman on his arm. McCarthy wasn't any of those, nor was I. I wasn’t sure if Bash was just playing some game to see if he could win me over or if what I had seen and he had shown to the world wasn’t really him or if he was trying to change.
I wanted to find out. I wanted to know more about him. I hadn’t thought I would. I honestly had gone to meet him so that we could say good-bye. I hadn’t counted on him being so friendly, so sincere, so gentlemanly. He intrigued me and made me want to spend more time with him.
It could all be an act. I wasn’t completely convinced that he wasn’t going to just walk away again, which was why I also kept him at arm's length.
“Have you decided on your specialty?” Bash asked me when Jack and Jill walked away to fill orders.
“As you know, I always thought I would want to do orthopedics or plastic surgery,” I began.
“I do remember you thought it would be cool to meet all the celebrities who would want a nose job. I take it you’ve changed your mind?” Bash asked and took a drink of his beer.
“Believe it or not, I’m not as vain as I once was. The idea of celebrities and meeting them has lost its charm,” I admitted.
Bash nodded and looked away for a second. I hadn’t meant it to be a slight against him but it had come out that way. Wanting to relieve the tension, I said, “I’ve been working in the Emergency Department and I really like how fast-paced it is.”
“Really?” Bash looked back at me, a smile on his face. He contemplated my statement for a second and then nodded. “I could see that about you. You always were quick-witted and fast on your feet. You would have to rely on your knowledge and experience to help your patients.”
“Yes, exactly. Though I don’t like that I can’t follow through with the patients or see how they did. Well, I can but it’s a little harder. I’m trying to find a way to have both, but not sure if it exists,” I said.
“If anyone can find a way to have both, it would be you. You were never one to settle for anything. It’s something I have both admired and found frustrating.”
“Frustrating? Really? Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?” I countered.
I might have stuck to my guns about what I wanted but so had Bash. Neither one of us had wanted to compromise for the other and it was why things had ended between us.
“Ara. It was why we were so good for each other and also so bad. I always understood your drive, your ambition, your need to succeed. I thought you did mine, too.”
We had been talking around our issues for weeks now and I hadn’t thought that he would bring it up. Anytime we had gotten close, he had made a joke or Jack or Jill had interrupted us. I had tried to accept the fact that he wasn’t ready to talk about it or admit his fault. I wasn’t sure what had changed but I was all for it.
“It’s one thing to understand one’s drive and ambition. It’s another to just ghost them because of it,” I said.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that. But I wasn’t the only one who did,” Bash said and put down his beer.
“Do you think I did? You were the one who didn’t call me. You were the one who didn’t come to my prom. You were the one who suddenly was on every social media post I saw.”
“You had ghosted me long before that. Don’t you think I wanted to tell you what was going on? You were the one person I wanted to talk to. You were the first person to believe in me. But I didn’t think I could. You weren’t talking to me. I thought about texting you but too much time had passed and I didn’t know what to say,” Bash said.
“What are you talking about? I wasn’t talking to you?” I asked.
I certainly didn’t remember ghosting him. Though he did a lot of things that annoyed me when I was younger. Had I been the one who caused the rift between us? Had it just been an unfortunate turn of events that made us lose touch?
“You were annoyed that I couldn’t come out to see you. You said if I couldn’t, then you never wanted to talk to me again. I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do and you didn’t understand that. Was I not supposed to take you seriously?” he asked.
“Well, no. I was upset. I was seventeen. I wanted to go to prom with you. I thought you didn’t and that was why you were saying all the things you did. I was upset, I was emotional and I thought you didn’t care. Of course, I said things I didn’t mean.”
I remembered how hurt I had been. I thought he was going to end things with me and I was making it easier for us. I was more trying to see if he would take the bait or fight for me. It hurt that he hadn't tried to contact me.
“You could have fooled me. You sounded pretty darn emphatic when you were yelling at me on the phone,” Bash said.
“Because I was upset,” I said and I took a deep breath to calm myself down as my voice had risen.
Bash looked around as if he was worried someone would recognize us. He took a sip of his drink and then put it down before he said. “I’m sorry I upset you. I was young and stupid. I did want to see you, and I did want to go to prom with you. But I was scared. I didn’t like the idea of having to see your life, your friends, all the things you had that I wasn’t a part of.”
“Did you ever think that I wanted you to be a part of it? I was getting Ella and Layla to move to the city with me. Wouldn’t you think that I wanted you to do the same thing?”
“No. I didn’t,” Bash said, sounding slightly ashamed and shocked that he hadn’t.
Our words had gotten more heated but I could see the tension and the anger leaving Bash at my statement.
“Well, you’re an idiot.” I shook my head and downed the last of my drink. Jill looked over at us. I could tell he wasn’t sure if he should come over and refill the glass. I smiled at him and tried to reassure him it was okay.
We didn’t say anything as Jill filled our order. He could tell that it wasn’t the time to make small talk and left as soon as he finished. I didn’t say anything as I tried to comprehend what Bash had told me. Had this all just been a horrible misunderstanding? Had I lost years with him because we both had been too stubborn to pick up the phone?
“Yes. Yes. I was an idiot,” Bash admitted after a moment.
“Maybe we both were,” I said.
Bash laughed and turned to look at me. “That we were. Ara, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to leave you. I never meant for us to not talk for this long. I missed you, every day, every moment. And I hope you will give me the chance to make it up to you.”