Chapter 39 Bday
Bday
Jamie
The Public Theater
Subject: Alert! GAMBA ADISA Now Available
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Inspired by the true story of slain activist Sandra Bland, Eve Ambroise’s critically acclaimed play, GAMBA ADISA, is an emotive portrait of Black womanhood in America, as told by the pioneers of the Say Her Name movement.
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Tickets are available now.
Jamie smiled at every word of the email he’d received from this place he’d never been to, or even heard of prior to last year, and while he’d no idea what an Obie Award was, or meant, he was certain Eve deserved one, because she deserved everything, and he was happy to see she was getting a fraction of that, at least. Getting that email was like seeing her name in lights. He was proud.
It also reignited a very specific ache that he didn’t know still existed until he was confronted with her name again.
Of course, he never really stopped thinking about her; he considered biting the bullet and calling nearly every single day since the last time they spoke.
But he could never find a good enough reason to disrupt her life without knowing what to say.
That was, until now.
Jamie waited until evening fell and Jack was squarely tucked away for the night, not wanting to be interrupted, or eavesdropped on, for that matter.
It was hard enough explaining to Jack why Eve wasn’t in their lives any longer.
He didn’t want to give him any hope if the kid happened to hear them talking.
When he finally sat down to dial her number, he did so from memory.
He preferred that method, as it kept important numbers at the front of his mind, since he hated to rely on the technology of it all.
And when she didn’t answer, he tried not to assume the worst. After how things ended, he wouldn’t have blamed her if she never wanted to talk to him again.
But it was equally as likely that she was simply busy.
It was just around 10:00 p.m. in New York; for a city that never slept, it would make sense if her evening were just beginning.
Of course, that didn’t stop him from staring at his phone, waiting for it to show any sign of life.
His heart nearly leapt out of his chest when it finally vibrated against the couch, and there on his lock screen sat a lone text from Eve:
Fri, Feb 27 9:03PM
Eve Ambroise: Hey, did you mean to call me?
Jamie grinned at her response.
Fri, Feb 27 9:04PM
Jamie Gallagher: I did. Are you busy?
Fri, Feb 27 9:14PM
Eve Ambroise: Kinda. Will you be up later?
Jamie Gallagher: I can be. Whenever you have a moment. It’s nothing important.
Eve Ambroise: Okay.
Eve Ambroise: I finally got your Christmas gift, by the way. It was perfect.
Jamie Gallagher: I’m so happy you liked it.
Jamie was relieved that she’d responded kindly; he hoped it meant, by some miracle, that she wasn’t mad at him.
Maybe she never was, or maybe she just wasn’t anymore.
Either way, it would make the wait for her call far less foreboding.
He was even considering indulging in another slice of his birthday cake, courtesy of Jack, and maybe a couple of 90 Day Fiancé episodes to pass the time.
But before he even made it to the kitchen, his phone vibrated again, Eve’s name and smiling face filling the display.
He was apprehensive again as he answered the call but did his best to cover it with casual affability. “Hey.” He said it as though they’d spoken yesterday instead of two months ago, like there’d been no space between them at all.
“Hi,” she said quietly.
Jamie smiled at the sound of her voice, like music to his ears, featuring notes he’d missed hopelessly. “You sound different,” he said. “Far away.”
“I feel far away…”
“Where are you?” he asked, curious as to why she was whispering. Curious as to where she’d been without him.
“Brooklyn,” she answered, sounding sad about it. “Where are you?”
“Nashville.” It was difficult not to think of the last time she was there, wrapping gifts and baking cookies. The sex they had the morning he left for Paris, and how he would’ve made it last forever if he’d known he would end up doing what he did. “I haven’t been back to Gatlinburg since…us.”
“Oh.”
There was an unspoken question lingering on Jamie’s lips, wondering whether she was with her ex, but his inability to move forward, to trust that she was done with this guy, was what got them there in the first place.
“You said you were busy?” he asked instead.
“You didn’t have to call right now, you know. ”
“I’m at a cooking class with friends,” she said, chuckling. “More specifically, I’m sitting in a bathroom stall while my friends are out there cooking.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sick?”
“No. I just didn’t wanna wait to talk to you.”
“Oh.” Jamie’s heart was fully racing, his voice turning hoarse as he tried to hold back his emotions. He thought he knew what he would say when they spoke, but now nothing would come to mind except the pure elation that she was eager to talk to him, too. “How long did you stay in Gatlinburg?”
“A little over a week. It was lonely without you.”
He nodded. “Same reason I couldn’t go back.”
They went quiet for a moment, and he just listened to the sound of her breathing. It reminded him of all those times they’d lain in bed together, reading. They were good at not talking. It never felt uncomfortable. Even now, when it should’ve.
“I’ve missed you,” Jamie said, so soft it sounded like a whisper.
He could hear her sniffle. “Me, too.”
“I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
“No,” she agreed.
“It’s just…I didn’t wanna get hurt.”
Silence.
And then, eventually, she replied, “I know. Me neither.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. He was clutching his phone like it was her hand, desperate for her touch. God, how he regretted the time he’d wasted, being hurt when maybe he could’ve been happy.
It was so hard to know the difference between being smart and being scared.
“Jamie?” Eve called out.
“Yeah?”
“I should go,” she said, sniffling again.
“Oh.”
“It’s not you,” she added. “It’s just that…I should get back to my friends. I thought maybe you wanted something specific.”
He did. He wanted her. “I just…wanted to hear your voice, I guess.”
“I wanted to hear yours. And to wish you an early happy birthday.”
“Can I see you?” he blurted. He couldn’t risk letting her get off that phone without asking.
He could live with it if she said no. Hell, if he were her, he probably would’ve.
But he couldn’t live another day holding back for fear of what she’d say.
Not when he already had proof of how good they could be together when they both let their guards down.
So he was handing her the opportunity to hurt him, knowing now, the reward was greater than the risk. And maybe, God willing, she just wanted to see him, too.
Eve sighed sharply, and Jamie steeled himself for her turndown, but she only responded with a simple, direct question: “When?”