A Lifetime in a Few Words
Chapter eight
Christopher felt himself begin to relax at the sight of Juliet’s soft smile.
He knew she was not one to quarrel. He could not recall a moment when she had raised her voice in anger or even frustration.
To someone who did not know her well, she might appear like one who did not experience powerful emotions, for she always seemed so calm and collected.
Still, there were signs that whispered of an uproar deep inside.
Subtle signs.
The way she sometimes clenched her hands, the sinews standing out white, as though fighting for control, afraid to reveal anything to another.
The way her eyes darted around, never quite settling anywhere, as though afraid of what she might see or of what others might see in her if she did.
The way her teeth every so often sank into her bottom lip, a nervous glint in her eyes, before she reminded herself that she ought not.
“Truly, you do not need to worry,” Juliet assured him, that soft, delicate and deeply alluring smile back upon her lips.
“Keir is not a stranger. Even though I have not known him long, he is well known to my family, my grandmother.” She took another step toward him, her right hand reaching out tentatively, as though she were uncertain about what to do.
Then, however, she placed it gently upon his arm, her green eyes dark and bottomless as they looked up into his.
“Please, do not worry. I am perfectly safe with him.”
Christopher gritted his teeth even harder, inwardly laughing and cursing that she would think him merely concerned for her safety.
Could she not see that every muscle in his body was tense at the thought of her heart belonging to another?
Or did she simply not want to see it because… her heart had already chosen?
Christopher closed his eyes as he recalled the moment the dowager countess had ushered him into the drawing room at Laurelwood Manor.
Three days had passed since, and yet Christopher remembered it as though it had only been five minutes.
The shock of her words still reverberated in his bones, and whenever his thoughts drifted back, he once again felt sickened to his stomach.
“I am so glad to see you again, dear boy,” the dowager had said with a wide smile that made Christopher feel warm and hopeful. “It has been too long, and Troy has missed you. You used to be such good friends, and I hope you shall be again.”
“As do I,” he had replied, his thoughts still reeling from the almost-kiss he had shared with Juliet only moments before.
“Would you object if I asked you for a favor?” The dowager had then asked abruptly, a thoughtful expression upon her face.
Christopher had bid her to continue, and what she had said next had turned his world upside down.
“Only recently, I have come to realize how much I monopolized my granddaughter’s time.
Juliet is almost thirty, and without intending to, it seems I’ve robbed her of every opportunity to find a match for herself.
” She had sighed deeply, regret in her pale eyes before she had seated herself in an armchair, another exhausted-sounding sigh drifting from her lips.
“I wish to make amends,” she had continued, looking up into his eyes.
“It is the very reason I invited Mr. MacKinnear to visit us at Whickerton Grove. From what I know of him, I believe him to be the perfect match for our dear Juliet.”
At her words, Christopher had almost rocked back on his heels. Unable to utter a single word, he could do nothing else besides nod.
“Would you tell me your opinion?” the dowager had asked, a hopeful expression in her eyes.
“Will you come and join us at Whickerton Grove and tell me if you believe my hopes justified? You used to know her so well, and now with all her sisters married, I believe I could use some help.” A soft chuckle had drifted from her lips.
“Who knows? Perhaps we shall have another wedding in the family before the year is out.”
Trapped in his thoughts, Christopher almost flinched when Juliet’s hand touched his. He blinked, willing to focus his thoughts on the here and now once more. “Pardon me,” he mumbled, seeing the questioning look in her eyes. “I suppose I…”
“Shall we have some tea?” Juliet asked and slowly removed her hand from his before glancing up at the sky. “It does look, as though it will rain soon.”
Swallowing, Christopher nodded, and they turned to walk back towards the house, side by side, but not touching, not speaking. It felt odd, unnatural, as though he had all but forgotten how to speak to her, how to be around her.
Stepping over the threshold into the drawing room, Juliet paused, her head turning from side to side as her eyes swept over the interior.
“I wonder where grandmother is,” she mumbled to herself before turning to him.
“I left her not long ago in that chair over there.” Her gaze moved to the door.
“I suppose I should see to her.” She made to hasten away. “Will you excuse m—?”
Christopher stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Stay,” he whispered, finding her green eyes wide as she looked back at him. “You know she’s fine, and if she needs you, she will send for you.”
Juliet’s eyes darted to his hand upon her arm before she nodded.
“Of course. You’re right.” A soft smile came to her features, and Christopher could see that she was not used to thinking of herself.
Had she truly spent the last few years living for others?
For her grandmother? The thought made him angry and sad at the same time.
And yet—perhaps it was selfish of him—he did not want her to find her perfect match in Keir MacKinnear.
Or anyone else, for that matter.
After ringing for tea, they sat down near the fireplace, and once more, an uneasy silence fell over them.
Christopher could see her wring her hands, her gaze darting around the room, moving to him every once in a while before dashing away.
He could not help but smile as he noticed her teeth sink into her lower lip.
Still, she seemed to chide herself inwardly only a moment later, forcing herself to relax.
Then she finally looked up at him, a polite smile upon her face that made her seem like a stranger. “Did you enjoy visiting the continent?”
Christopher regarded her carefully, convinced that she was only asking him this to have something to say, something that would break this awful silence.
It bothered him that she did not know the truth, that they spoke to each other as strangers, that she would ask him one of the many questions people tended to ask him and the thought that he would answer her as he always answered anyone else was almost unbearable.
And so Christopher decided not to. “I never went to the continent.”
As though ready to ask another question, Juliet’s mouth opened, only to remain so when she paused, her eyes blinking before a slight frown came to her forehead.
“You did not? But I thought…” Her frown deepened.
“Did you not tell my grandmother all about your adventures on the continent? At Harriet’s wedding?
” She shook her head at him, confusion marking her features.
“I know I was distracted at the time, but I could not have been so lost in thought as not to notice wh—”
Delighted to see her polite persona slip away, replaced by the honest and caring young woman he knew, Christopher smiled at her. “You were distracted? Are you saying you were not listening? Are my tales so boring?”
A faint blush came to her cheeks, and her mouth fell open once more, mortification in her green eyes. “I’m sorry,” she replied, averting her gaze for a moment. “I suppose I…I had a lot on my mind that day.”
Leaning forward, Christopher braced his elbows on his legs. “May I ask what distracted you?” He held her gaze and delighted in the flustered way she seemed to be groping for words. This was the Juliet he knew. The Juliet he had missed.
Incapable of lying.
Adoringly bashful.
Unique in every way.
Juliet bowed her head, and Christopher could see her breathing in deeply, her hands unclenching as she flattened them upon her legs.
Then she looked up, and the flustered look in her eyes had disappeared.
“Why did you not travel to the continent? And why do you tell people that you did, when…you didn’t? ”
Christopher laughed. “Does that mean you will not tell me what distracted you?” he teased, reveling in this moment of familiarity.
Juliet regarded him carefully, and her upper teeth once more brushed over her bottom lip before she stopped herself. “I might feel inclined to answer you if you were to answer my question.” Her brows rose in challenge. “I believe I have much more of a right to an answer than you do.”
Christopher exhaled a deep breath and leaned back in his chair.
“Very well.” He felt the lightheartedness of the moment slowly drift away as his thoughts turned to the past few years.
“Frankly, I was never one who wished to see the world. I cannot imagine spending years traveling from one place to another, never finding—” He gritted his teeth as emotions welled up, he had long thought buried.
Juliet’s eyes softened. “A home,” she said, and it wasn’t a question.
Christopher’s heart relaxed. “Yes, a home.” Always had she been able to tell what he was thinking, what he meant to say, and to have her do it now was the greatest gift he had received in a long time.
After tea was brought in, Juliet poured them both a cup, adding a little sugar to his and a dash of milk to hers. “Then…where have you been?” she asked, handing him his tea. “It’s been five years, Christopher. Where did you go?”
After taking a sip from the hot amber liquid, Christopher set his cup down. “I went to Ireland.”