Times Long Gone
Chapter nine
If there was one word in the English language that did not describe Juliet, it was reckless.
Indeed, she knew her place, her responsibility to her family, the expectations put on her by society.
She had learned to comport herself with grace and decorum and had never strayed from the path set before her.
Except in one regard: she had failed to make a suitable match.
Nevertheless, in Juliet’s childhood, there had been moments when she had acted recklessly. Not on her own behest.
Not even on her own.
But with Kit.
As much as he had tried to please his parents, he, too, had experienced moments of defeat, of hopelessness, realizing that no matter what he did, he would never be good enough in their eyes.
In these moments, Kit had often been tempted to act without thinking.
To be impulsive and do whatever caught his fancy.
And Juliet had always gone along.
After all, he was her friend, and friends stood together, did they not? Especially in the darkest of times.
Faster and faster, they raced onward through the gardens.
The rain pelted down on them, and the dark clouds above almost blocked out every bit of light.
Juliet felt her clothes clinging to her skin, goosebumps racing each other up and down her arms and legs.
She was cold. She was shivering, and for the life of her, she could not stop smiling.
Neither, as it seemed, could Christopher.
Together, hand in hand, they darted across the soaked lawn, tiptoeing around deeper puddles and laughing whenever they could not, splashing through instead.
Juliet knew her clothes would be ruined, but she did not care.
She felt reminded of that night years ago, All Hallows’ Eve.
She had been only ten years of age, and Christopher had dared her to step outside and risk meeting ghosts and goblins on the spookiest night of the year.
Then, too, it had rained, or rather it had begun to rain by the time they had been halfway down the slope.
Juliet had wanted to turn back, but Christopher had not allowed her.
The mere thought of that night brought a wide smile to Juliet’s face.
She had been frightened at first, but then she had loved their mad dash through the rain, shrieking and laughing as though demons were lapping at their heels.
She had felt truly alive in that moment, something that was not a familiar sentiment for Juliet.
While her sisters seemed to find their own adventures with ease, she had somehow always stayed behind, her life a series of uneventful moments, pouring endlessly from one into the next. Only when Christopher had been by her side had life been different.
She had been different. Had dared to be different.
“You are mad!” Juliet laughed, trying to be heard over the rushing sound of the wind and the rain. “I cannot believe it! We’re soaked through!”
Christopher spun around to look into her face, his brown eyes sparkling wickedly. “Do you truly mind? Or do you simply believe you should?” He cocked one eyebrow at her in the way he had always done in their youth, and Juliet had always thought it made him look devilish.
Feeling the rain run down her face, her neck and then slip under her garments and trail a path down her back, Juliet stared at her old friend in disbelief.
“What will my parents think when they see us?” Her hands flew up to cover her mouth in shock.
“My grandmother!” Her gaze darted from him to herself, taking in the way the fabric of her soaked gown clung to her limbs.
Christopher laughed loudly. “Oh, dearest Jules, you look positively scandalous!” he remarked with utter delight in his voice.
“Any regrets?” He stepped toward her and then his hand once more reached out to grasp hers.
“Any regrets?” he asked once again, his voice now possessed by a more serious note as he looked into her eyes.
Juliet swallowed, returning the soft pressure upon her hand. “None,” she whispered, surprised to find that she spoke the truth.
A wide grin came to Christopher’s face, and in the next moment, he tugged her onward again. “Come!”
Together, they chased down the length of the garden, rounding a hedge here and there, jumping over a well-tended flower bed, before Juliet saw the small pavilion come into view.
Instantly, her heart tensed in her chest, for this place was now forever tied to the moment before Christopher had vanished from her life.
She remembered how they had met here the morning after learning of his brother’s passing.
Her feet faltered, hesitant and reluctant, as Christopher pulled her up the few steps of the pavilion and out of the rain.
The rain drummed down mercilessly on the wooden roof, coming down in sheets all around them, wrapping them in a world all their own. A small world outside of time and place where nothing and no one existed but them.
Juliet stared across the small expanse of no more than a few feet that separated them.
Suddenly, all laughter had stopped, and she could feel unspoken things hanging in the air between them as they stared into each other’s eyes.
Another shiver snaked down her back when the chilled autumn air brushed over her.
“You always used to drag me along on your adventures.” Juliet tried to speak lightly, unable to bear this tense silence any longer.
“Some were more foolish than others.” She chuckled, well aware that Christopher was watching her intently.
“Once, I caught such an awful cold that I was certain I would—” Her voice broke off as he suddenly stepped toward her.
“You’re shivering,” Christopher remarked as his gaze swept over her.
Instantly, Juliet wrapped her arms around herself and gritted her teeth to keep them from chattering. “I’m f-fine,” she stammered, trying to smile at him. “T-Truly. I-I’m f-fine.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, then reached out to place his hands upon her shoulders.
Slowly, he slid them down her back and then up again, the movement sending swirls of warmth through her.
And all the while, his gaze never left hers, something unspoken there that Juliet wished she could understand.
“I often thought of this,” Christopher whispered, his breath warm against her chilled skin.
“Of us. The way we used to be.” A small smile tugged on his lips as he continued to rub warmth into her.
“I missed you.” He swallowed. “I missed who I was with you, who we were together.”
Juliet’s breath came fast as she stared up into Christopher’s eyes.
For so long, he had been nothing more than a memory that a part of her had trouble believing that he was truly here with her.
“I missed you as well,” she whispered in reply, knowing there was more to say—much more!
—but unable to find the words or the courage to speak them.
“Did he kiss you?” Christopher asked abruptly, his jaw suddenly tense as he stared at her with an intensity that made Juliet retreat a step.
The cold returned as his hands fell away, and her arms wrapped themselves more tightly around her body. “What? What do you speak of?” she asked, her mind confused by this abrupt change of topic.
“Mr. MacKinnear,” Christopher growled, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “Keir. Did he kiss you?”
Taken aback by his sudden anger, Juliet shook her head. “No.” She took another step back until the wooden railing stopped her, wondering why he would ask her such a thing.
For a moment, she thought to see relief flash over his face before the muscles in his jaw tightened again. “Did you want him to?”
His gaze all but burned into hers, and Juliet felt her shivers lessened as heat suddenly swept through her. “Why would you—?”
Christopher took an abrupt step toward her. “Did you?”
Juliet flinched, confused to see him thus. “No.” She shook her head. “Christopher, why would you—?” Again, she stared at him. “You’re not acting like yourself. What has gotten into you?”
His brown eyes darkened as he seemed to weigh his words.
Then he bridged the small distance still separating them, and his hands grasped her arms. “Three days ago, at Laurelwood Manor,” Christopher began, and Juliet felt her heart skip a beat, knowing precisely which moment he spoke of, “did you truly want me to kiss you?”
And there it was, the moment of truth. What was she to say? Generally, honesty was considered the right path, but what if its consequences shattered her? Had Keir been right when he had said that Christopher cared for her? Had he meant as a friend?
Of course, Juliet knew Christopher cared for her as a friend. They had been friends for years before he had suddenly left without a word. Were they still? Was this friendship?
The look on his face screams bloody murder. Aye, he’s jealous to find ye here with me.
Those had been Keir’s words, had they not? Was it possible that Christopher had truly come to care for her…beyond the friendship that had once connected them? Did she dare believe it? Would that be wise? Or would it destroy her because it was nothing more than wishful thinking?
When Christopher had left all those years ago, it had…
it had broken Juliet’s heart. Weeks and months had passed, in which she had replayed their last moments together in her mind, desperately searching for something that would explain what had happened.
She had never found it, though, and eventually been forced to accept that she would simply never know.
What if Christopher kissed her? What if she told him that her heart was his? Would it make matters worse once he left again? Or would her heart break just the same?
If only she knew.