Alira #3
I would know the sound of his footsteps even if we were surrounded by a thousand warring knights. He’s standing close enough that his smoky scent blends with mine.
“Alira.” His voice is gentle, curious, probably as to why I’m out here alone.
My eyes meet his, and I find the same weary look I usually do in his gaze. Kalel offers a torn smile. There are smudges of dirt and dark stains on his face and neck, more on his armor.
“What are you doing out here in the cold?” he asks as his gaze shifts toward his garden. His brows knit with thought before he brings his attention back to me.
The floral scent of the peonies dances between us, mingling with the smell of the blood on him.
It’s red—not gold. So at least I know that it isn’t the blood of a demigod.
Perhaps a bad hunt, or were they swarmed by wolves again?
Or do dragons bleed red? I want to ask him so many things, but he has a very particular look on his face right now that tells me I won’t be getting many answers. Not tonight.
“Just taking a minute to myself. Tessa tends to follow me much closer than Nikolai.” I chuckle as I rise and lift my jaw so I can see his face entirely. He’s so tall, even when his shoulders are slack and heavy.
Kalel lifts his hand and brushes his thumb over my cheek, eyes softening as he takes me in. “My apologies, little godling. I needed Nikolai today.”
The corners of my mouth curve down. “It’s been hard adjusting to this new life when you’ve been so absent as of late,” I say slowly.
I need to confront him about my restlessness since he’s been preoccupied.
“Can I go with you out of the kingdom? I need to get out of these dresses…and out of the palace. I need something familiar. The outside world, even a horse ride outside of the veil. Sparring. Something.”
His golden eyes narrow with sympathy. They look like jewels. Even in the dark, they shimmer so beautifully. My eyes trace the scars shaped like X’s over his left cheek. I cannot look at them without remembering how he looked the night I found him in Florum Forest.
How was I to know that the demon I met as a child would change my entire life one day? Meeting him again in the forest during the time loops was like a sign from the gods. Divine intervention, some might say.
Even if I think he’s hiding something from me, I have secrets of my own too.
I haven’t told him about the time loops that led to all of this… I don’t know if I ever can. It sounds impossible, and it wouldn’t change anything. How would he react if he knew he was the knight who killed me countless times? I can’t do that to him.
Kalel gives me a pitying look that sets my skin on fire.
“Alira, you know King Achill isn’t on board with you being armed and accompanying me on tasks.
” He takes in my frustrated expression and tightly crossed arms. “Okay, how about this. I’ll speak with the king to see if you can come with me on a trip I’ve been meaning to take, but don’t get your hopes up too high. ”
He brushes my silver hair back behind my ear, and his gaze softens, making my chest ache. No one looks at me like he does.
“When?” I ask, leaning my cheek into his palm, desperate for time with him.
“I will speak to him tomorrow at the morning command meeting, but we likely won’t go out together until next week, if he allows it.
” He offers me his hand and I take it. “I know this isn’t easy, and it’s certainly different from our time on the road together as we traveled here. But it’s not forever.”
I nod and put on a convincing smile. “Okay. I appreciate that you’re trying.”
Kalel lifts my hand to his lips, bending low and pressing a kiss on the back of my hand. “Of course, little godling. Now let’s get back to our chambers. I’m exhausted.” He glances up from my hand, and my heart twists with the dark circles that are more noticeable up close.
What is he keeping locked inside? It’s wearing on his soul.
He looks hungry too, although he’s been much more reluctant in the last two weeks to drink my blood. Guilty conscience, one might think, but why? I worry my lower lip and try to put the questions out of my mind.
“Are you hungry?” I ask as we walk back to the palace. Tessa is standing in front of an arched window on the second floor. Her eyes follow us as we make our way back through the garden toward the large wooden door I snuck out of.
Kalel glances down at me and gives a small nod. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”
He doesn’t say anything else until we reach Tessa in the corridor, who waits for us with her hands behind her back, standing straight at attention. She offers a small inclination of her head to Kalel as we stop before her.
“Alira, head to our chambers. I’ll be there shortly.” He nudges me toward our room, and I reluctantly let my legs guide me down the hall. I spare one last look back at the two of them speaking in low voices with grim expressions on their faces.
Something terrible is happening outside the veil, and he’s keeping it from me.
I shut the door and stand with my back against it, muscles tight.
If he won’t tell me, I’ll have to figure it out myself.