Chapter Thirty-Four
Ruan set off for home: a word that was loaded with toxic associations now he knew the truth. He was so reluctant to see it again that he convinced himself he needed some milk from the late-night supermarket in Penzance, although it was miles out of his way.
Even then, he dawdled, taking a back route through the lanes, under a sky of indigo blue.
Until he’d found out that the house was once Tammy’s, he’d never ceased to love the route along lanes bordered by high, banked Cornish hedges, even though he’d scraped the Audi several times on them while squeezing in to let another vehicle pass.
Even though he’d been stuck behind tractors or tourists who’d blindly followed their satnavs down roads that were clearly no more than tracks.
He’d even perfected his reversing skills and knew every passing place and farm gate on the way.
He’d loved the fact that his commute included an ancient stone circle and Celtic crosses, lush valleys filled with wildflowers and the sea shimmering when he emerged on to the high farmland.
He’d loved turning off the road, knowing only the owner of Seaspray had any right to use it.
He’d even loved negotiating the Audi over the ruts and through the mud, as it contrasted with the city life he’d left behind and reminded him that he was a different man now, a man making a fresh life for himself in a magical new world.
Now, it seemed as if he had no right to enjoy any of those things. No moral right to be in Cornwall at all.
He got out of the car and lingered by the caravan, unwilling to go inside. The double-fronted house was lit up by a full moon that shone a beacon of light across the sea to the edge of the grounds. There, it seemed to be pointing. There is the place you aren’t entitled to.
There was only one thing to do: go to Davey and speak to him.
Tell him that he couldn’t keep the secret any longer, not for any reason, and then try to explain everything to Tammy.
She’d seemed distracted that evening and he’d been on the verge of blurting out everything to her when she’d asked if she could stay with him.
That resolution lightened his mood a little. Even if it all went wrong, at least he’d be able to stop the terrible tension of keeping two secrets from her. Davey would surely understand if he explained that he cared too much for Tammy to keep anything from her.
Feeling his burden lift a fraction, he was about to go into the caravan when he glimpsed something that made the hairs spring to life on the back of his neck.
A shadow at the side of the house. A moving shadow that passed over the front of the wall then vanished at its corner.
He strained his eyes. There was nothing there now and yet he had seen something in the moonlight.
A cloud had passed over the moon and it was dark again. An owl hooted and another replied.
Could it have been a bird flying low, hunting mice?
It hadn’t seemed like a bird. It had looked like a figure.
Ruan switched on his phone torch. It was possible that an intruder was hanging around; perhaps someone needing somewhere to sleep for the night. His pulse was beating faster but he didn’t feel afraid. He couldn’t have whoever it was entering the house: it was dangerous in there.
He walked forward confidently, shining the torch ahead. ‘Hello!’ he called. ‘Is there anyone there? Don’t be afraid, but if you’re thinking of going inside the house, don’t. It’s not safe.’
He shone the beam all over the front of the house, with its broken windows and the scars left by ivy and the plaque that read ‘Rosewarne’.
There was nothing. He was simply on edge and his eyes were playing tricks on him.
What he really needed was to go to bed and get some sleep after a couple of nights when that had been in short supply.
He was about to switch off the torch when he heard a rustle and glimpsed a flash of white.
A badger waddled round the edge of the house and quickly into the undergrowth at the edge of the stream.
Ruan laughed out loud at his own jitteriness, unlocked the door of the caravan, and turned on the light.
‘Ruan.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin and spun round. ‘Tammy?’
His heart was going like a jackhammer. Tammy stood in a shaft of moonlight, her face pale like a spectre that had materialised out of thin air.
If only she was an apparition, Ruan thought, lead settling in his stomach. If only she wasn’t all too real and standing in front of him. If only he’d spoken to her before. It was all too late now.
Surely, his heart should have stopped thumping by now. He was a fit young man and Tammy was a young woman, not some mythical beast lurking in the dark waiting to jump on him. Yet his pulse still cantered away.
‘Tammy. I—’
‘I have one question. Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I have to find out from Sean?’