Chapter Thirty-Six #2
‘Yes. Both of those things. Even if I could accept that Ruan has it by sheer chance, I wish he’d told me from the start.’
‘Hmm.’
Tammy waited for the storm to break. Surely, Davey should be as shocked and upset as she was? Yet he just kept stroking his beard.
‘Aren’t you angry?’ she asked in wonder when he still offered nothing.
‘Not angry. It’s a funny situation. I wish the old bugger had never got his hands on the house.’
‘It’s why I could never go back and see it once he bought it off Dad. I didn’t know he’d bought the other half of the building too.’
‘That’s understandable, but if I’m honest, I think you should give Ruan the benefit of the doubt in this case.’
‘You do ?’ She could hardly believe what she was hearing. ‘I thought you didn’t like him. Didn’t trust him.’
‘Well, we still don’t know him well enough, but he seems like a decent bloke, I suppose, and I also have something to share that will explain why Ruan wasn’t able to tell you about Rosewarne the moment he found out.
I may have put him in a difficult position.
It’s me who has to apologise. Stay there.
I’ll put the kettle on and we’ll have a chat. ’
Tammy had sat in stunned silence after Davey delivered the news about his diagnosis.
‘So, you see, Ruan did come round to explain about Rosewarne,’ Davey went on gently.
‘He only waited until after you’d finished the festival for your sake.
I guessed something was wrong and I dragged the truth out of him.
He was adamant you should know first and regretted telling me.
I begged him to keep it to himself until I could break my own news to you.
I am so sorry you found out from bleddy Sean. ’
Tammy could hold back no longer. ‘So am I. And I get that Ruan was trying to protect me, but … but that doesn’t matter compared to you,’ she said, sweeping aside any thoughts of Ruan and the house.
‘You said it’s localised within the prostate.
That means it hasn’t spread, right? It can be treated?
You’ll be OK? I can’t lose you … oh God, I’m sorry, but it’s such a shock.
I’m not helping you, am I?’ Her questions tumbled out one after the other.
Davey’s hand covered hers. ‘Slow down. Take a breath. I was the same when they first told me. You only hear that one word: cancer … It took me days to process and Breda helped me. It is localised, which is good. The docs have recommended radiotherapy and hormone treatment. It’s my decision but I need to tell them very soon. ’
‘I’m sorry. I – How long have you known about it?’
‘I’ve had some symptoms for a few months and my PSA levels were raised so I saw the GP and she sent me for some tests. A scan showed some small signs.’
‘I thought you seemed tired and – more irritable than usual.’
He burst out laughing. ‘Are you saying I’m a grumpy old sod?’
‘No. I mean, yes. Yes, you are.’
He walked over to her. ‘Let this grumpy git give you a hug and you can do the same for me.’
‘You don’t do hugs,’ Tammy said, yet embraced him all the same while trying not to hang on too tightly and, most of all, not to allow the tears stinging the back of her eyes to spill out.
He let her go. ‘Drink your tea. There’s sugar in it. Like when you were little and used to visit the studio with your dad.’
‘I liked three sugars,’ Tammy said, remembering her father and Davey laughing together while she stirred her tea with great exaggeration.
She sipped the warm drink and a thousand other bittersweet memories flooded her mind, but she needed to focus on the here and now: on Davey. ‘You say Breda knows?’
‘She does. You told me not to let her go … and I was pushing her away because I didn’t want her to be stuck with a man going through treatment for cancer.
I was also worried that the cancer had spread and she might have to endure worse, but I finally told her and she came to my last appointment with me. ’
Tammy touched his arm, needing that comforting contact. ‘No. Oh, Davey, it must have been such a worry.’
‘It was but, in a way, it’s a relief to have a diagnosis and know it could be so much worse. It’s a load off my mind being able to tell those closest to me too. Is that selfish? You’ve already had enough troubles in your life.’
‘No, not selfish. It’s a shock and I will worry, no matter what you tell me. But I needed to know …’
‘Thanks. Thanks for being here for me.’
‘You’ve always been here for me.’
‘You’re a remarkable young woman, Tammy. Your dad would be so proud to see how you’ve turned out.’
‘No, don’t start talking about Dad. Not now.’
‘OK, look. You need to focus on yourself and look at things rationally. Ruan didn’t really hide anything from you, and it isn’t his fault he’s got the house, so why don’t you go and talk to him?’
She nodded mutely, knowing everything Davey said made sense yet finding even getting up from the chair an effort.
‘Please try not to fret,’ Davey said in a reassuring tone that made her even more nervous. ‘I’m a lucky man. This thing has been found very early and I’ve as good a chance as anyone my age of being here in ten years’ time. I’ll be here to see you get married and meet Neil’s grandkids.’
‘Yeah.’ Grandkids seemed about as likely as the Loch Ness Monster surfacing in Porthmellow Harbour, but Tammy needed to be positive for Davey.
It had been a day for hammer blows and she was reeling.
‘Go on, go and tidy up the flat and invite Ruan round now,’ he said gruffly.
She gasped in mock horror. ‘I never tidy up for anyone and I don’t want to leave you on your own here, brooding.’
‘When have I ever brooded?’ he asked, wide-eyed and innocent. ‘Anyway, you needn’t worry. Breda’s coming round to hold my hand, cook me dinner and listen to me moan.’
‘I told you you’re lucky to have her,’ Tammy said, relieved he wouldn’t be alone.
‘Don’t gloat,’ Davey said with the old glint in his eye. ‘I’ll be fine, I promise. I have the two best women in the world to make sure of that.’
With a quick peck on his cheek, Tammy left him and went up to the flat before she lost it in front of him.
The last thing she wanted to do was invite Ruan round so she curled up on the bed and let herself cry, trying to remind herself she’d had to cope on her own before. She was a survivor; she would go on somehow, though the prospect of life without Ruan and Davey was almost too bleak to contemplate.