9. Cassi
9
CASSI
My heart is heavy as I trod the familiar path up to the front door of the house I grew up in. Behind that giant door with the ornate knocker is my dad, the man who’s taken care of me for most of my life.Sure, before Momdiedhe was a hands-off kind of guy, but when she was goneandit was just us two, he took care of me the best way he knew how.
At some point, it became too much.
I knock on the door, shaking off the trembling numbness in my arms and fingertips as nerves overtake me.It’s weird, knocking on a door thatjust a week agoI would’ve turned and pushed open, entering as if was my right.Now, it’s all so different .
The door opens to show the half-smile of our housekeeper, Colleen. “Cassi, why are you ringing the bell, child?”
I shrug my shoulders. “It felt appropriate.”
“Come on in. Your father and the new Mrs. Long are out back.”
I smile to myself, wondering how longuntil Roni will becomeMrs. Long rather than the new Mrs. Long.“Thanks, Colleen.”
She nods and walks away. Instead of taking my time to gather my thoughts and courage, I rush through the foyer and into the kitchen before my black ballet flats hit the grass of the backyard. Dad and Roni sit at a table sippingeitherlemonade or some al fresca drink. “Dad. Roni.”
He turns slowly, his expression inscrutable as he takes me in. “Cassi, does this mean you’ve come to your senses?”
My jaw clenchesandI resist the urge to roll my eyes. “It means that I’m here to say goodbye.”
A small ripple of pleasure rolls through me at his shock. “What?”
“I love you, Dad. Morethan anything. But I need to get away from San Diego and from you. You’re suffocating meandyour fear is making it impossible for me to live my life.” I shake my head, rememberingthe dayI got the news that Mom wasn’t coming home. “I miss her too.I had to grow up without herandworse, I grew up without youtoobecausethe only thing you cared about after that day was keeping me safe.”
“And that’s so wrong?”
I nod. “It is when that’s your entire focus. I deserve a chance to live a full life, not a half-life meant to keep me safe but miserable.That’s not what Mom would have wantedandifyou’re honest, it’s not what you want either.”I don’t expect to agree here. I just need to say my peace.
“How will you survive in this worldon your own, Cassi? I don’t think you understand what kind of world you’re stepping into.”
I smile and shake my head. “That’s the point, don’t you see?You didn’t prepare me for living on my ownand howunfair is that?”He looks away. “I’ve been saving money since even before Mom diedandI’ve managed to save a good chunk of my allowance over the years. I’ll get a job and figure it out. I have to,” I whisper. “I need to.”
“This is ridiculous, Cassi.”
“No,” I sigh.“It’snot. It’s just not what you want for meandthat’s okay.You have your life, you’ve lived itandthat’s as it should be. Now it’s my turn.”
“Don’t go,” he says,finallysounding somewhat vulnerable.
“I have to.As long asI stay, the temptation will be too strong for you to meddle and interfere.I hope you still love meDad, and that one day you’ll forgive me, but if you don’t...wellI’ll have lived a full life with very few regrets.”I turn away, ignoring the tears burning in my eyes.
“Check in often,” Roni calls out. When Iturnshe’s right in front of me, tears shimmering in her eyes. “Sam will come around.I may not understand itbutI love you bothandall I wantis foryou both to be happy.Love is love, and if that’s what this is then I’mhappy for you.”She kisses my cheek, whispering a warning. “Be careful,” before pulling back with a sad smile.
“Thank you, Roni. You’re good for himandI’m happy he found you.”
An hour later I’m sitting beside Jordan on a private jet with buttery navy blue leatherseats, my hand in his as we head east to start our new life…
Together .