23. Paige
Paige
D ressed in grey sweatpants, my biggest T-shirt, and a pair of Hoc’s old boots, Aries walks beside me, his large hand enveloping mine as we make our way down into the main part of the library. With his other hand, he carries my bag full of belongings for our trip.
Packing for a far-off land whose fashions and customs are nothing like mine meant a light load to carry.
Aries assured me he’ll buy me whatever I need when we get there, but it still feels a little strange to be making a permanent move with nothing but a weekender bag.
Still, if he can wear the same pair of sweatpants for days on end for me, I can deal with the same for him on the other side of the portal.
As long as we’re together, I can deal with anything.
After yesterday’s near-death experience, I haven’t let him out of my sight. Not that it’s been such a chore. We did shower together—safety in numbers and all that.
According to the others, there’s been no sign of Constantine, and not a single extracted creature has been discovered within the library’s walls.
In fact, according to Blossom, the stacks have been extra well-behaved since everything went down in that cavern.
I tell myself that means it’s all over so I can feel good about leaving the people I love behind today.
The moment we step off the elevator, I smile. Bright balloons and streamers adorn the rows and rows of shelves while a table boasting a My Little Pony tablecloth holds a large white cake with red, green, yellow, and blue polka dots.
The gnomes are drinking punch and devouring a pile of donuts—a dangerous combination—though their laughter booms through the space and brings a smile to my face.
Adorable little bastards.
Beneath the table, Kitty waits hopefully for them to drop their crumbs for her. She spots us and watches warily like the anti-social creature she is.
“Uh, what’s...?” Aries doesn’t finish his question, too busy gawking at where Bingo is lying sprawled on the floor and happily munching loudly on a bone the size of a gnome.
His menacing appearance is dimmed only by the pony-print birthday hat someone has strapped to his enormous hound head.
A fashion statement the hound doesn’t even seem to notice, thanks to the interest in the treat he’s devouring. “Is he friendly?”
I laugh. “As long as he has a bone, sure.”
Aries doesn’t look very relieved.
From where he stands beside the table, Mag looks to me and grins. “What do you think? Too much?”
“My Little Pony? She’s going to hate it.”
“There’s a unicorn on it,” he replies as if it’s an obvious perfect choice. “I thought she’d feel right at home.”
I roll my eyes. “Blossom is going to kill you,” I repeat.
“Blossom is going to kill who?” she calls out as she rounds the corner, Hoc at her side. She stops abruptly. Her gaze narrows on the whole setup and décor and then on Mags. “Really?”
He shrugs. “Seemed fitting. Do you like it?”
I expect her to go full Blossom on him—a term I coined after I once saw her rip him a new one for using the wrong font on an inner-library memo. Instead, she simply rolls her eyes again and heads toward the drink table.
I pull away from Aries and make my way over to Blossom, holding out a bag topped with tissue paper. “Happy birthday.”
She takes the bag and moves the tissue paper aside, pulling out the new pair of boots I bought for her. I watch as her eyes give away her excitement, but by the time she places them back in the bag and looks up at me again, she’s smoothed her expression over. “Thank you.”
“I owed you,” I say with a shrug, knowing she won’t like it if I make it a big deal.
“I’m still mad at you.”
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
She glances over at Aries. “Boyfriend, huh? When did he pop the question?”
“Right before he went into the tunnel,” I lie. I mean, it’s kind of the truth, I guess. It was the night before. If you can consider him asking me to go home with him—forever—as popping the question.
“Then you get a pass on that particular information.” She pops a grape into her mouth. “Fine. No longer mad. But no more secrets, Paige.”
“Deal.” It’s another lie, though, and I hate myself for it. Hoc is sending us to Aries’s world later, and I’m not allowed to say any goodbyes. No one can know where I’ve gone.
And as far as anyone but Hoc will know, I simply disappeared. An unsolved mystery. Which works because, once I leave, I can never come back. It’s the compromise for not wiping my memory entirely.
Even so, my throat constricts with emotion. I wonder if remembering Blossom but never seeing her again is better or worse than being made to forget her entirely.
“Hey. It’s my birthday. You’re not allowed to be sad because we fought, so bottle that shit up until tomorrow. Come on, let’s eat some cake before the gnomes feed it all to their trash panda.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders and guides me over toward the birthday table.
Mag breaks off from his conversation with Aries, smiling at Blossom as we approach. “You’re just in time to help me decide on your present,” he tells her. “How about a kiss for your birthday? Or would you rather have spankings instead?”
“I suppose that’s up to you,” Blossom tells him sweetly.
His eyes glitter. “Oh?”
“Sure. Do you want to lose your lips or hand? Your choice.” She winks at him, and Aries laughs.
The sound is so carefree, so unburdened, that it catches me off guard. My heart stumbles at the sight of joy on his face, and I realize that this is the first time I’ve seen such a smile.
Such blinding happiness.
And I decide right here and now that I will do everything possible to keep that smile returning. Starting with making sure Hoc keeps his word to send him home. Though, I guess, after today, it’s my home now too.
The party doesn’t last long, though it’s mostly because Bingo finishes his bone and tries to take a bite out of Kitty. In the ensuing chaos, the tables are upended, and Ted throws up from sugar overload.
After that, Mag and Blossom claim they have to return to patrols, leaving me and Aries with cleanup duty. Aries doesn’t complain once, though, and by the time we’re done, it’s only the two of us left.
If I’m going to confront Hoc, now’s the best time. Aries meets my eyes and nods like he’s read my thoughts.
“You stay put,” I remind him before marching off.
I find Hoc in his office, poring over a large volume lying open on his desk. “Wow, a real party animal,” I say. Despite everything I’ve come here to discuss, there’s still this easy bond between us. If I think too hard about that, it’ll make me want to weep.
Hoc looks up as I enter and half-smiles. It’s a bad attempt, but it’s better than nothing. Beyond the mouth-quirk, he looks stressed.
“Did you find out anything?” I ask, sinking into one of the chairs across from his desk. Briefly, I think about the last time I was in here. Hoc lecturing me about “one last shot to become keeper.” A role I’m willingly relinquishing which seems ironic considering how far I went to win it.
“Nothing definitive,” he says, leaning back and sighing heavily. “And that’s what concerns me. Even after all my tests, there’s nothing to say he isn’t still free.”
“But there’s nothing to say he is either?”
“The tracking spell I cast on his book is taking more time than I’d like to complete. That could likely mean he’s not in this library at all, but it’s not confirmed yet,” he says. “And until it is, I won’t rest.”
“I understand. Today isn’t exactly the best timing for the party and for...”
He softens. “I’m not going to keep you here, Paige, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I understand if you need the extra help,” I say, but he waves me off.
“Nonsense. A promise is a promise. Though I will miss seeing you here.”
“So will I.” My heart aches for what I’m leaving. Blossom. Mag. The gnomes.
“We’ll see each other again, though. I can come visit you in your new home,” he offers, but I don’t answer.
The lump in my throat turns to lead in my gut. “Before I go, I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest.”
“Okay.”
“Constantine told Aries...”
“Yes?”
Hoc is watching me so closely, but my thoughts are jumbled. What if he’s been lying? What then? But … what if he doesn’t know. I can’t leave here—forever—without at least asking for the truth.
“Do I have magic?”
I blurt the words clumsily, but I don’t care. At least, they’re out. And I don’t miss the part where Hoc flinches. Or the fact there’s not a single flicker of disbelief or shock at my question.
My stomach drops to my knees.
That’s it, then.
“You know,” I realize. “You’ve always known.”
“Paige, I...”
He trails off, and I wait, but he doesn’t say more. I’ve never seen him look more lost. For some reason, that pisses me off.
My hands tremble with anger, so I clench them into fists at my sides and remain where I am.
“Hoc, tell me the truth. What am I?”
“Paige, you have to understand; it’s much more complicated than you think.”
“Maybe I would understand if you’d bothered to share the truth with me. I trusted you, Hoc. You’re like a father to me.”
The words fly from my mouth like an accusation.
His shoulders sag. “I know. And I tried to tell you so many times, I swear I did.”
From outside the door, a growl sounds. It’s low, but I recognize it as Aries. He’s listening, as promised, and that means he might still come through the wall as promised too. But my emotions are churning, and my thoughts are a heated mess, so I can’t bring myself to care.
“What does that mean?” I demand.
Hoc must hear the desperation in my voice because he lifts his gaze to mine and says, “The truth is your magic has the capacity to--”
“Well, well, well, what have we here?”
The voice comes from among the stacks and echoes throughout the library, slicing clean through the tension hanging on Hoc’s words. Hoc goes silent as Aries growls for real this time, and icy claws dig into my heart as my chest constricts.