Chapter 6 #2
That night had been the start of a two-year long-distance relationship, then a wedding, then a move to Glasgow for her.
It made so much more sense to make their home here, because her mum was perpetually on the road, whereas Kyle’s company was here, and his family were the kind of people who would drop everything to help them, whether it was renovating the house that they lived in now, or being their chief and willing babysitters in the future.
Speaking of which… ‘I’ll come upstairs with you. We can do the test when you get out of the shower.’
A rush of something that sat between excitement and terror surged all the way to every nerve ending as she said that.
Kyle’s emotions must have landed more on the fear side, because she saw the flinch of something negative cross his face, then settle into two tiny lines between his brows as he frowned.
‘Orla, do we need to do the test today? Isn’t it too early?’
She slipped off the chair and took his hand, completely understanding his apprehension.
The disappointment every month was so sore on the heart, and it got harder to bounce back every time.
But maybe they wouldn’t have to. Maybe this would be the month.
And if not, well, they could revisit the doctor and start looking into the reasons that it wasn’t happening, and then explore treatments.
Whatever was ahead for them, Orla was prepared to do it, because there was nothing she wanted more than the family that she’d been planning in her head since she was a child.
‘No, it’s not too early. My period is due today, so we’re good.
’ She mentally ran a check down her body, searching for even the tiniest inkling that she could be pregnant, but there was nothing.
Not really a surprise. If she was expecting, it would be so incredibly early.
It was close to miraculous that the pregnancy test could pick it up so quickly, but it promised results on the first day that her period was due, so here they were.
‘Okay, if you’re sure. Let me shower first, though. I’ve literally got sawdust coming out of my pores.’
‘I could come wash it off for you.’ Wow, the sugar high from all the cake was clearly still running through her bloodstream.
Showering together used to be their favourite way to wake themselves up in the morning, and it inevitably led to more than just showering.
When had that stopped? A few months ago, when he took on more responsibility at work and started going in earlier?
Or when their sex lives had become so concentrated around ovulation that they let it slip the rest of the month?
Ouch, that had a ring of truth about it.
Going forward, they really had to make an effort to be spontaneous again.
‘I’ll take a raincheck on that,’ he said, kissing her again. ‘But let’s go get this done.’
The knockback didn’t sting too much, because she knew the test would be on his mind too. That was probably why those two lines between his eyebrows were still there as he took her hand and led her upstairs.
Ten minutes later, she was lying on the bed, when he came out of their steamy en suite with just a towel round his waist. In any other situation, on any other day, that spontaneity thing would be kicking in right about now.
Maybe it was the six-pack abs. Or the tan from his golf trip to Marbella last week.
Whatever it was, if she was the type of person who possessed a smug gene, it would be swelling right now.
‘In case I forget to tell you, I love you for your mind, but I keep you for your body.’
For the first time since he came home, his laugh banished the frown lines and he leant down and kissed her, properly this time, the way that they used to do when they had all the time in the world and none of the stresses.
‘In case I forget to tell you, I love you.’ His words replaced the support of her friends as her source of warmth and she realised that she’d missed this closeness.
Lesson learned. Time to focus on each other again, no matter what the test said.
The test.
She slipped out from under his arm. ‘Let me go do this and then we can come back to the kissing thing.’
‘Yeah, sure.’ There was an edge to his voice again, but she knew it was only nerves. God, the stress this time of the month caused them both.
By the time she came back into the room a few minutes later, he was already in a T-shirt and shorts, lying on the bed. He put his phone down and pushed himself up into a sitting position as she walked towards him.
‘I’ve set an alarm on my phone,’ she said, sitting down next to him and pulling her knees up to her chest, the stick facing down on the bed in front of her.
Her hand found his as they waited in silence, with a mantra going directly from her mind to whatever manifestation powers were in the universe.
Please be positive, please be positive, please be positive…
When the alarm went off, she jumped. A minute ago, the result was too far away. Now it was too close.
Before she picked it up, she turned to her husband. ‘Ready?’
He nodded slowly. ‘Ready.’
Slowly, she turned back around and picked up the white stick, her shaking hands telling her that she really wasn’t ready at all.