25. Aida
“You’re fucking losers,”Ben calls out, laughing as his friends both roll their eyes. “You said you were staying for the rest of the summer.”
It’s been a few days since the party, since our epic hook up and we’ve spent every day together. Switching off houses, sometimes staying here at Ben’s and sometimes at mine. It’s made the summer go way too quickly, and now Ben’s friends are leaving.
Those first few days I was here on Little Crab Island felt like they dragged, which was good, but now, the summer is flying by, and I’ll be back at school before I know it.
That old saying, time flies when you’re having fun, never meant much to me, but it really hits home now.
“Yeah, well, some of us have to get jobs so we have a place to live,” Jason counters, his tone almost annoyed. “Not all of us can live at our parents’ beach house and fuck off life.”
Ben stays quiet, and when I look over at him, I wonder if he’s going to tell Jason that he got a job, that he doesn’t plan to live off his parents forever. It’s not my place though.
They all see Ben as this lovable party guy and he is that, but he is so much more. His friends don’t know that side of him, and for some reason, he wants to keep it from them.
“I gotta admit, I’m kinda excited about my job,” Jason now says, slightly sheepishly, like admitting he wants to work is embarrassing. “It’ll be nice to get a steady paycheck and I think I’m going to propose to Annie.”
“Guessing Annie’s your girlfriend,” I say, when Ben, again, doesn’t say much. His eyes are trained on the ground, his silence speaking volumes about how he’s feeling.
“Yeah, we met freshman year in college. She took a job as soon as we graduated, but this guy,” Jason says, tossing a thumb in Ben’s direction, “convinced me to spend the summer here instead.”
“You haven’t spent the summer here,” Ben quips. “You went to see Annie and now you’re leaving today.”
“Don’t be so salty, dude,” Troy chimes in. “We all have responsibilities. That’s why we went to college. We knew this day would come. Well, maybe you didn’t know, but we did.”
I feel a little bad for Ben. His friends have no idea that he has this great job, and that he doesn’t plan to live off his parents forever.
I look over at him, taking his hand in mine, I give it a squeeze, opening my mouth to chime in, but Ben cuts me off. His words are loud, drowning out anything that may have come out of my mouth.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to face those responsibilities now. It’s still party season!” Ben yells, reminding me that he’s not ready to share that part of his life even if these are his best friends.
Again, I should know it’s not my place to tell his friends, but why the hell is he keeping it all a secret? He should be proud of himself. He should be celebrating this accomplishment with his friends.
Trying to steer the conversation away from the negativity, and to keep this from turning into an argument, I ask, “Have you bought a ring yet?” My question directed at Jason.
“I haven’t, but when we were in the Keys, I looked at a few,” Jason replies, his smile growing with the idea that he’s going to possibly ask Annie to marry him.
“Dude, you said you were meeting up with Greg and James. You went there with Annie?” Ben asks, insulted that his friend lied to him.
“Yeah, well, if I told you I was taking a vacation with Annie, you would have given me so much shit and I didn’t want to deal with that.” Jason lets out a hard sigh. “Come on, dude, let it go. We all have to grow up.”
Troy tugs his suitcase toward the door with Jason following behind him. I hate how disappointed Ben looks, but his friends are right, life goes on, and we all have to grow up.
This was my summer to do nothing before heading back into the real world, and then I have the whole law school graduation and finding a job thing on the horizon too.
As much as I’d love to stay here and live this beach life, the real world is waiting. Ben’s future is waiting too, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
“We’ll catch up with you back in New York,” Troy says, giving Ben a wave. “Thanks for a great summer. It’s always a blast.”
“Yeah,” Ben replies, his word flat and monotone.
“I’ll let you know how it goes with Annie,” Jason now says, and I have no idea if he’s directing his comment at me or Ben. I’d love to know if she says yes, and how their wedding planning goes, but I have no idea what the future looks like for Ben and me.
This is supposed to be just a summer fling, and as much as I keep telling myself that, I think I’m falling for Ben Kincaid. Who would have thought the party boy I called the police on my first day here would win me over? Certainly not me. And now here I am trying to convince myself not to fall for him when I fully know I already have.
“Bye guys,” I call, giving them a quick wave. “It was really great meeting you.”
“Same here,” Troy says, with Jason saying he’s sure we’ll see each other once we’re all back in New York.
There’s no way that’s going to happen with how bothered Ben is right now. If anything, it seems like he’s ready to end this summer fling and act like I never even existed.
“How come you didn’t tell them about your job?” I ask Ben as soon as the front door closes. “I know you’re annoyed that they’re leaving early, but they would have been excited to know about what you have coming up.”
“Listen, Aida,” Ben starts, dragging a hand through his hair, his face sullen and serious. “They don’t care. I’ve always been known as the party guy, and to be honest, I’m fine with it.”
“But, Ben, you are more than that,” I start to say, and he lets out a laugh.
“How did you meet me?” he now asks, a challenge that will only end in me telling him it was because of a party.
“I called the police on you and then you invited me to play volleyball with you and your friends.” My response is quick and lacking detail, not that either of us don’t know why I called the police.
“It was because of a party. And you know how I met Jason and Troy?” I shake my head, even though I have a pretty good idea. “A frat party. It’s what we do. We don’t have anything in common besides that. They don’t care that my dad’s a dick and that I took a job outside the family business.”
“But maybe they do. I do.” The last part comes out sympathetic and quiet. I do care, and I hope that Ben knows I do.
“You do because you’re a girl,” Ben says, letting out a little laugh. “And you like me.”
“I do like you and so do your friends. Stop being such a douche about this,” I bark out, trying to sound authoritative, but this only makes Ben laugh harder.
“Maybe you’re the one who’s being a douche about it,” Ben fires back, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me against him.
“Maybe I am, but I do really like you, Ben,” I admit, worried I’ve said too much, that he’s going to think I’m some kind of clinger.
“I really like you too, I’m glad you are going to law school in New York,” he now says, his forehead resting against mine.
“Tell me more about your family,” I now say, trying to make him see that I am interested in more than just his party boy persona.
“How about you tell me more about your family?” Ben counters, avoiding my question. “You already know about my family. Well, at least you know about my grandma, and she’s the most important anyway.”
“I think you’re avoiding my question,” I say, as Ben walks out onto the deck, taking a seat in one of the chairs that overlooks the ocean.
It’s going to be hard leaving this place, not just because it’s where I met Ben, but because it really is so peaceful and beautiful.
“I am, so I’ll make a deal with you, you tell me about your family, and I’ll tell you about mine,” Ben negotiates, leaning over to kiss me as I sit down next to him.
His lips are soft and welcoming, and I rest my elbows on the arm of the chair, moving closer to him. Ben’s hand wraps around the back of my neck, deepening our kiss until my lips ache and I miss the feeling as soon as he pulls away.
“You’re still avoiding,” I say, my chest rising and falling with the intensity of the simple kiss he just hit me with.
“You’re beautiful, you know that, right?” Ben says, making my cheeks flush with heat. “I want you with me always,” he now says, and my finger traces a soft path down his cheek to his chest.
“I think we could try to make that work,” I reply, my heart hammering in my chest, all of this is new and exciting. This is not where I expected this thing between us to go, and I’m still trying my best to tread lightly.
“Let’s not try to make it work,” Ben asserts, and I’m taken aback by his desire to keep this going. “I’m going to be working from home with my new job.”
“And where is home?” I ask, worried he’s not going to be able to leave this little paradise known as Little Crab Island. As much as I want to stay, I can’t. I have to go to New York. I have an apartment rented and my acceptance isn’t something I can just transfer, not that Little Crab Island has a law school.
“Home is wherever you are. But home was always going to be New York,” Ben tells me, and I try not to let the shock show on my face. “I’m serious, Aida.”
I swallow hard, scared I’m going to have my heart broken again, but more than that, I might break Ben’s heart. I don’t do well with relationships and school. School is my boyfriend, and I cheat on school with studying and pulling all-nighters.
“Am I scaring you?” Ben now asks, and the confident guy I met on the beach all those weeks back is lost in the eyes of the man looking at me, nervous he’s said too much.
“Not at all,” I lie, and Ben laughs.
“You’re a terrible liar. What’s scaring you about this? That I’m not known for having a girlfriend? That I like to party? That my grandma is incredibly nosy?”
“None of those things. If anything, I’m scared you’ll see the real me. The one who spends all her time focused on school. You met me when that wasn’t part of my life.”
“Now you’re the one making excuses and avoiding. I don’t care if school takes up all your time, Aida. I want you to be successful. I want you to achieve your dreams. I would never hold you back. Trust me,” Ben says, pausing for a second, he wets his lips, his eyes focused out on the gorgeous blue water in front of us. “I’ve had my father telling me what to do my whole life, that’s the last thing I want to do.”
“And I want the same thing for you,” I say, suddenly feeling like this thing between us might actually work.
“Then it’s settled,” Ben says, taking my hand in his. “Let’s make the most of the next few weeks because soon, we enter the real world. Turns out my friends are excited about that,” Ben jokes. “I’m not.”
“I’m not either because I seriously love it here.” Letting out a hard sigh, I relax back into the chair, realizing we’ve lost the conversation we originally started.
And Ben must realize it too. “And your family, Aida? Tell me about them.”
“My parents are pretty typical. Married forever and still like each other but are total opposites. My mom’s a high school chemistry teacher and my dad sells insurance.”
“Really? I gotta say that’s pretty interesting,” Ben says, and I laugh.
There’s nothing interesting about my Midwest upbringing. It’s the typical middle-class life, and while it’s not interesting, it’s certainly not filled with drama, and for that I’m grateful.
“Okay, your turn.”