Chapter 3
three
Hayden
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The lighter in my hand does nothing to quell the anxiety building in my gut.
Last night, everything was perfect. We flawlessly destroyed Banesworth, covered up his murder, and it seemed like Jo got some of the answers she needed regarding her sister.
I went to sleep as the sun was rising, wrapped around her snug, soft, perfect body.
I told her I was going to keep sleeping when she got up to go to breakfast. And now… she’s gone.
Sam and West had come banging on the door, and I panicked, thinking I would get shit from someone for being in her room by myself. My relief at finding out it was just them was short lived, though.
They asked me about the bond…if I could feel her.
Before today, if I had to describe to someone what it feels like to have Jo’s very essence sitting right on top of my heart, I would have said that my nickname for her feels a little bit like fate.
Fireball.
Feeling Jo’s presence and having her bond inside me is like having a little ball of fire lighting up my insides. It keeps me warm, it makes me feel all fuzzy, and…it gets me hard.
As I pace her room though, the flame is nothing more than a flickering ember. To make matters worse, her empty bed mocks me like some flashing sign reminding me that my very reason for existing is nowhere to be found, and I realize that maybe her nickname is fateful in more than one way.
Fire always gets taken away from me.
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In one way or another, everything and everyone I love gets destroyed. My mom. My life. Any hope of a relationship with my dad.
My house.
Okay, that one was my fault, but come on. Dad literally tried to force me to marry someone and left me alone in a room with a burning fire. What did he expect?
I shake my head. Right. As West would say, even though Dad’s actions didn’t help the situation, I still need to take responsibility for what I did. I am in control.
But…am I? I don’t even know where my bonded omega is.
She should be here, with me.
I should be keeping her safe.
I should be out there with Sam and West trying to find her instead of wearing a hole through the damn floor.
The more I pace, the more anxiety turns to rage in my chest. The feeling is foreign—I’ve never had anything to rage at before. Even when Dad packed me up and sent me away. Even when I found Mom dead on the bathroom floor. No, back then all I felt was helplessness. Sorrow.
For the first time in my life, my alpha roars in defiance inside my chest. He’s…he’s where this rage is coming from. I’ve always been a weaker alpha, but since bonding Jo…fuck, this is bad.
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Being drugged to high hell for four years when I’d barely come into my designation hasn’t offered me ample opportunity to keep my instincts in check. I’m going to have to get this under wraps before I lose my shit.
It had tested every ounce of my strength watching her fight last night, but I could see her. She had been safe. Now, I don’t know where she is, or what the fuck is going on.
Forcing my feet to stop pacing, I close my eyes, exhaling through my nose.
I am in control.
I am in control—
A feeling of intense panic takes over my chest, and suddenly it’s like I can’t breathe.
Jo.
She’s scared. Where is she? When has my Fireball ever been scared? It’s not right. It’s like…it’s like pigs flying. Wait. That’s not true. Because nowadays, I’m sure that there’s some technology that would allow fucked up scientists to attach bird wings to pigs and make them fly.
But Jo being scared?
That would never happen.
Then, just as suddenly as the terror invaded my senses, it recedes, and I’m left empty and hollow.
Which, somehow, is even worse than before. Now, I have no idea what’s happening. Did she get knocked out? Did something else happen?
No. My breathing is erratic as I concentrate, trying to find the little ball of fire that’s Jo inside my chest. She’s there. She has to be.
And she is. Just…small and muted. She’s shielding me from her emotions even though I can tell she’s just as panicked as before.
How could she do that? How could she cut me off?
Logically, I know she’s trying to protect me, but for once, just once, I wish she’d let me protect her.
I’m spiraling. I can’t spiral now.
Open.
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Open—
My eyes open, and a guttural scream rips out of my throat as my arm rears back, launching my one comfort as hard as I can.
Pieces go flying as the lighter makes contact with the concrete wall, and my chest heaves as I stare at the fragments that land on the floor.
“Bratishka?” My hackles raise at the deep, Russian-accented voice that comes from the doorway. “Where is Jo?”
My alpha is all out of sorts, and even though in the back of my mind I know that the huge, tattooed Russian giant in the doorway is Kole, my soon-to-be pack brother, a snarl rips out of my chest.
Why is he here and not out finding our mate? Our panicked, scared mate?
“Hayden,” Kole barks out, his dominance rolling over me. I freeze in response, and I find myself baring my neck to him in submission. For the first time today, my body relaxes.
His eyes dart to the ground, where my lighter lies in pieces.
“What has happened?” He shuts the door and approaches me, and just like that the spell of his dominance is broken.
I can’t stop the growl that finds its way out of me.
Red starts to spot my vision as the alpha studies me with concern, and then he’s grabbing the back of my neck, gripping tight. “Bratishka. Talk to me.”
At his contact, it’s like something loosens in me, and my vision starts to return to normal.
My mind clears somewhat, making me all too aware of the way I’m gasping for breath.
“I…” I choke on my words as my eyes screw shut tight.
How am I supposed to do this? West and Sam told me not to say anything.
Kole presses his forehead against mine, his hand still bracing the back of my neck. “Breathe, Brother.” He’s still pushing out his dominance, but instead of overpowering me or sending me to my knees, it grounds me. It’s like a weighted blanket settling over my body.
My breathing slows, and my heartbeat calms. I realize I’ve reached up to grip the arm grasping my neck. “Better?” he asks, his voice a deep rumble.
“Yes,” I sigh, and the giant, scary, tattooed alpha presses a brotherly kiss of affection to my forehead.
He pulls back to look at me. “Now, tell me, Bratishka. What has happened?”
At that moment, there’s another knock on the door, and in the next second, Sam is bursting into the room, wearing a murderous expression. “We have a problem.” West follows behind him, a serious look on his face. That in itself isn’t new, but the note of despair in his eyes is.
West slams the door shut behind him, space suddenly seeming way too small. This room was not built for three alphas and a beta.
Sam’s eyes catch on Kole, who is now standing next to me, his hand still bracing the back of my neck. I’m not gonna lie, having it there has me feeling a hell of a lot better. I don’t care if it makes me look weak, Kole is the only thing keeping me grounded right now.
Our orderly friend fixes the Russian with a look. “Fuck. I’m warning you right now—you can’t kill anyone, Kole.”
Kole’s eyes darken. “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”
“Okay, both of you, take a step back.” West is getting between them. “We need a plan.”
“A plan for what?” I ask, doing a shit job of disguising the panic in my voice. “Where is she?”
“We don’t know where Jo is?” Kole snarls, his hand dropping from my neck.
“We do now,” West admits, running a hand over his hair. “They…they took her to the Cathedral.”
My blood runs cold. The fear makes so much more sense now.
It’s the worst place they could have taken her. Really, it should have been the first thing I thought of—but I didn’t want to even think it.
“Why?” I shake my head, pacing. “Why did they take her? Do they know about Banesworth?” If she’s taking the blame for something we all had a hand in, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.
“No,” West sighs. “They’re saying the alpha she beat last night had tranq serum in his system, and connected Jo to the missing vial from Helaena’s stash. That she drugged him. Only thing is, it’s impossible for that to be the case because—”
“She used it on Banesworth,” I mutter.
“So we can’t prove she didn’t do it,” Sam growls in frustration, "because then we’re implicating all of us in a way more serious crime and then we’ll never get her out.”
Kole’s whole demeanor changes, his expression turning murderous as he starts to walk towards the door. Without thinking, I move to follow him.
“What are you doing?” Sam snaps, grabbing his arm.
“I’m going to go rip Brooks’ spine out and wrap it around his neck like a pretty bowtie.”
“You can’t do that!”
“Eh. It might take a minute, but I’m sure I can get it in the right shape.”
My heartbeat starts to pulse in my ears. “I’ll help.” The words sound like they come from outside my body.
The Cathedral. She’ll be a zombie there. She’ll lose all her fire. What will happen to our bond?
Sam snarls, reaching for me. “Get the fuck back here—”
“I felt her. She’s terrified,” I snap, turning on him. “Her emotions broke through the bond and I’ve never felt her be scared before. Even when she was facing down that alpha last night.”
Kole steps between us, grabbing Sam by his collar and pushing him against the wall.
Sam’s nostrils flare in anger. “What the fuck do you think—”
“Everyone needs to calm down!” West shouts, and it’s only then I realize I had started to growl again. West is looking at all of us like he’s not quite sure how he ended up in this mess.
She needs to get out of there. But how?
“I will not sit by while my omega is tortured,” Kole snarls in Sam’s face.
“Do you think I want to do that? I don’t! But we have to play our cards right! One wrong move and they’ll bury all of us before we can lift a finger to get her back. And then she’ll have no one. Is that what you want?”
Kole’s breathing becomes labored as he stares at Sam, conflicting emotions warring in his expression. Sam just stares right back. The orderly is a big-ass guy, but he’s no match for Kole in the physical sense
Finally, Kole releases him, growling as he runs his hands through his hair. “What the fuck are we going to do?”
She had to have a plan for this. A back-up, in case things went wrong. Surely, her brother wouldn’t let her come here if—
Her brother.
Declan. How do we get a hold of Declan?
“We need to figure out how to contact Declan.” My words seem to snap everyone out of their stupor.
Sam snaps his fingers. “Yes. I’ll—” He frowns. “Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?” Kole frowns.
“Shhh!” I hear it. Is that…squeaking at the air vent?
I scramble to the corner of the room, popping the cover off the vent. “Turnip!” Relief fills my chest. Jo had been so worried about her.
The rest of the guys watch as the little gray and white rat stands on her hind legs as she looks up at me, chittering nervously.
She sniffs the air once before scurrying out of the vent and climbing up to my shoulder.
“Where have you been?” I ask the rodent, scratching under her chin. “Jo’s been worried sick about you.”
As if recognizing her favorite person’s name, Turnip perks up, her head moving around the room wildly as she sniffs the air again.
“What the fuck?” Sam mutters, taking a step towards us. “It’s an actual rat? How?”
“So it is decided?” Kole asks, eyeing Turnip warily. “We find a way to contact Declan, get Lisichka, and then we get out of here, yes?”
Sam, West, and I all exchange a look. It seems like this is the only thing we can do.
“You two, come with me.” Fuzzy, the gruff cook, looks down at Kole and me as I try to swallow a bite of pasta that tastes like cardboard. Adela doesn’t seem to mind it though, so maybe it’s just me.
The beta had blanched when she sat her tray next to us, realizing that Jo was nowhere to be found. I had insisted, of course, that she still sit with us. I’ve grown rather fond of the soon-to-be mother the last week.
We haven’t told her about the Jo situation yet. Once we have a plan, we can fill her in, but right now Adela just thinks she isn’t feeling well.
Adela’s eyes grow wide as she looks between us and the cook.
“Why?” Kole crosses his arms and raises a brow at him.
Fuzzy grunts, and out of his mouth comes a sentence in perfect Russian. At least, it sounds perfect to me, but that’s not really saying a whole lot. Kole’s brows shoot up, and then he’s standing from his seat.
“Come, Bratishka.”
“What’s going on?” Adela whispers, her brows furrowed as she looks up at me.
“It’ll be okay, Addie.” I can’t help but ruffle her hair as I step away from the table. “What did he say?” I whisper to Kole as we follow Fuzzy into the kitchen.
“He said, ‘It is about your omega so come get your ass in the kitchen before I drag you in there myself.’”
“I’m surprised you’re not mad he talked to you like that.”
“Words do not mean much, Bratishka,” he shrugs, “It is actions that do most of the talking, and I would like to hear what the fuzzy man has to say.”
We get to the kitchen, only to find Nurse Helaena, West, and Sam already in attendance. Turnip climbs out of the pocket on my chest and onto my shoulder, and Fuzzy looks at me in surprise. “You have Turnip.”
The rat clambers off my shoulder and onto the counter next to me as she starts sniffing around. “You know about Turnip?”
“Of course I do.” He huffs, like he’s offended I even asked.
“What are we doing here?” Sam asks, crossing his arms. “This is more than a little suspicious.”
“What is the rat doing?” West tilts his head, watching Turnip scurry across the countertop.
“Sniffing for bugs,” Kole, Fuzzy and I all say at the same time.
Right then, a cell phone starts ringing. Damn. It's been a while since I’ve heard one of those.
Fuzzy pulls a burner phone out of his back pocket and flips it open. “Boss.” Both Kole and Sam stiffen at the word. “Yeah, I got ‘em all here. Okay. One sec.”
He pulls the phone away from his ear and covers the microphone. “One thing you should know is that Turnip’s collar is fitted with a microphone so everything you’ve said in front of her has been recorded and most likely listened to.”
My brows shoot up in surprise, and before anyone can respond, he presses a button on the phone, prompting a voice to start speaking through the speaker. “Am I currently talking to the fuckwits that lost my sister?”
Oh shit. Looks like Declan found us first.