Chapter 9
Alistair
Heather: Alistair, I can’t take it anymore. I waited all night. You’re dating Isla. Real or not real?
Heather: I’m your sister, I have a right to know.
Alistair: Not sure that’s how it works.
Callum: That’s definitely a yes.
Heather: Why didn’t you tell me?
Callum: Maybe because he knew you’d be weird.
Alistair: That’s exactly why. I’m the smart sibling remember.
Callum: Smart? Remember the time you nearly swallowed a battery?
Alistair: I was performing an experiment.
Callum: You were fifteen.
Alistair: And now we know a battery will get caught in your oesophagus.
Juniper: The real question here should be, how did he get Isla? She’s a solid ten.
Alistair: What’s that supposed to mean?
Mal: If you need any dating advice, you can come to me.
Alistair: Piss off. I don’t need dating advice from my wee brother.
Juniper: I’d probably take his advice.
Heather: BURN.
Alistair:
Alistair: Wasn’t April your first girlfriend, Mal?
Mal: And now she’s my wife. I bagged FHM’s sexiest woman of 2018 on my first try.
April: Oh, please. I bagged you.
Mal: True.
Heather: This doesn’t answer my original question. You and Isla?
Alistair: No comment.
Heather: Fine. I’ll ask her.