16. Talitha #2
“No, my dear. You get shitty responses because you hold yourself back from being happy. It’s like you thrive off being miserable. You have the world at the tip of your fingers and instead of appreciating that, you find ways to diminish it.”
“Well… don’t you have me all figured out.”
Dropping his fork, Law leaned back in his chair. “I really don’t. And that’s what I don’t understand. I’m usually good at reading people but I can’t read you for shit.”
“You can’t read me because you want to fix me, Lawton. And in case you haven’t realized, I’m unfixable.”
“Bullshit!” he countered.
“It’s the truth.”
“It’s not,” he refuted with a quick toss of his hand. “You aren’t unfixable. If that’s the case, you wouldn’t have sought therapy. Your fears aren’t what you let on.
Your fear is getting close to people so, you keep everyone at arm’s length.”
“Only people who have the potential to hurt me.”
“Everyone has the potential to hurt you. Hell, Gema could hurt you, Talitha.”
“She won’t,” I argued.
“But she could. You don’t get close to people, you don’t let people get close to you. You portray this well put together woman when in reality you’re still that same hurt five year old.”
“Fuck you, Harvey!” I hissed, playfully.
“Now it’s fuck me.” He chuckled. “Look at you, sitting over there looking all gorgeous and shit. Your soul is black because you’ve been hurt.
I’m not trying to cause any harm to you, Talitha. I want to be your friend and I want you to genuinely be mine. No expectations… no rules.”
“I thought we were friends,” I stated.
“Only at your convenience.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
Swiping his thumb across his nose, Law chuckled. “I figured it wouldn’t be too much longer. What do you want to talk about?”
“Why did your last relationship end?” I had my suspicions, but I wanted a definitive answer from him.
“Shit. Several reasons.”
“Give me one.”
“She wanted kids.”
“And you don’t,” I denoted. “Why didn’t you try to meet her half the way?”
“How can you meet someone halfway with a child?”
“I don’t know, Law. You weren’t willing to compromise at all?”
“I did compromise. I let her go so she could be happy. And from what I found out recently, she got what she was seeking.”
“What you mean by that?”
“She’s pregnant.”
My eyes bulged. “Wow.”
Lifting his shoulder, he mumbled. “Right.”
“Is it yours?”
“Nawl,” he drawled. “I don’t know who the lucky man is.”
“How’d that make you feel when you found out?”
“To be honest, I can’t really say. Did I feel a way? Yeah, but I don’t know in what manner. If that makes sense.”
“It does. Do you regret anything?”
Shaking his head vehemently, he retorted, “Not one minute of it. All I’ve ever wanted for her was for her to be happy.”
“Then why feel a way?” I probed.
“Can’t answer that.”
Tucking a curl behind my ear, I picked up my glass and emptied it. “Well, I’m happy that she’s getting what she wanted out of life. Rossi and Marsha speaks highly of her so I’m certain they’re happy for her as well.”
“I wouldn’t know. I don’t talk about her to anyone.”
“Are you bitter?”
Tossing his head back, Law laughed. “Is that what you came up with out of everything I said.”
I shrugged. “In a way. You’re a man’s man, Law. You lost your partner and not even a year later she’s carrying the next man’s baby. That’s gotta hurt.”
Leaning in, Law bit his bottom lip and studied my face. “I get what you’re trying to do Talitha and it’s not going to work.” Pulling back, he picked up his fork and resumed eating his lamb.
“Can’t blame a girl for trying.”
“If you say so. How was the rest of your evening with Rossi and Marsha?”
“It was well needed. Between working on this application, redoing things at the youth center, and taking care of Gema… I needed the adult interaction. I did have one too many drinks and had to catch an Uber back to the house.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come and picked you up.”
“It was late. I didn’t want Baker having to get out of bed because I was careless.”
“Noticed I said I. You could have called. It wouldn’t have been an inconvenience. Why didn’t Rossi or Marsha drop you off?”
“I live in Douglasville, Law. That would’ve been too much on them. They offered but I declined.”
“Next time, call me. It’s dangerous being in an Uber alone in that condition.”
“Yes, sir father,” I saluted him.
“You love trying me, don’t you.”
“Maybe I do,” I flirted.
“Finish eating your food Talitha before you get yourself in some shit that you can’t get out of,” Law advised.
And maybe it was the Tito’s that I suggested they make my drink with, but my insides were begging me to ask what kind of shit he was speaking on.
Since the night in the limo or better yet, the way he had my body pushed up against our hotel room door, I had been craving his touch.
For once, I wanted to let my resolve down and indulge in something that would have me shying away from him the next morning.
I knew he wouldn’t make the first move, especially since I’d confessed the need to be in control. Hopefully if I baited him tonight, he would give in.
“What kind of shit?” I finally asked.
“The kind that’ll have you losing all common sense. Don’t tempt me Talitha because I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”
“Mrs. Jessie is spending the night with Gema. I have nothing but time.”
“Are you sure you want to cross that line?”
“The line was crossed in the back of your limo weeks ago.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re ready for it to be crossed again. I’m on your playing field. You expressed needing to be the one to lead so I have to be sure. I don’t want to unintentionally do something to trigger you.”
“I have control issues, Harvey, I’m not fragile and I know exactly what I’m saying right now.”
Tapping his fingers on the table, Law smirked. “Finish eating your food, Talitha. Something tells me you’re going to need your stamina.”
Before he could change his mind, I decided to eat a few more pieces of my steak before signaling for the waitress. Once the tab was cleared, Law ushered me out of the restaurant.
I’d wanted this for weeks and tonight it was finally happening. I prayed that once we took it there it wouldn’t get in the way of our business.