37. Lawton
Lawton
“Talitha, you can’t go in there!” I heard Chari yell.
Hopping out of the chair, I stalked toward the conference room door. Before I had the chance to pull it open, Talitha was storming into the room. She was angry. And as far as I was concerned, there was only one of us in this equation that had the right to be mad.
“You lied!” she shouted and punched me in the chest. “I asked you about her and you lied to my fucking face.”
Grabbing her wrist, I squeezed them and growled, “I’m in the middle of the meeting.”
“I don’t give a fuck!” she snarled. “You lied. She was your mothers best friend.”
This is about Adele?
“Chari clear everyone out. Get them set up in the room down the hall. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“She took advantage of you.”
“I’m a grown ass man. No one can do anything to me that I don’t want done.”
“She groomed you! I was molested. I did years in therapy learning the signs. And you keep her around claiming that she’s a friend. That’s not a friend, Lawton! That’s a predator. Then you had the unmitigated gall to call her. You told her about my baby.”
“I had to tell someone. You kept the shit a secret from me, Talitha.”
“Because I was scared that you would tell me to get rid of it, stupid. What did you expect me to do? Tell you and wait for you to say you don’t want it. God. I knew.
Something told me that if I told you how I felt about you, I would be left out here alone. That I would be left standing on the cliff begging you to rescue me!”
“It was never going to be you!” I roared. “Me, Talitha. I was always going to be the one standing on the edge of a cliff begging you not to let me fall. I dedicated everything to you. You wanted anonymity, I respected it and gave it to you.
When Gema passed, you needed someone to catch you when you fell. Did that! I’m human. I love. Love hard as hell… I told you I don’t do relationships that ends with marriage and kids. The way I loved you. Love you. The way I love you is insufferable. Suffocating to say the fucking least.
The shit makes me question myself daily. Question if the love I thought I felt for Adele was ever real. I’ve went over and over in my head wondering why it was so easy for me to go against everything I thought I didn’t want and desire to give it to you!
The first time you cried in my arms, I knew then that I’d give up everything to make you happy. Because at some point Talitha, you made me feel like I was enough. For once in my life, I didn’t fear being abandoned.
Didn’t feel like I was being tolerated. You think I don’t know the shit with Adele was inappropriate. Like I’m not smart enough to know that she groomed me for her own personal desires.
You know why I latched on to Adele so hard? It’s cause she gave me the love that my mother never cared to give. Was it wrong? It absolutely was. But I accepted it because I was a kid longing to belong, to be loved.
That’s the reason I’ve kept her around as long as I have. Adele never switched up on me. Character flaw or not… day in and day out she’s remained the same. You can say whatever you want about her to make yourself feel better. But you, Talitha Howard, you ruined me.
I told you my biggest fear and you turned around and did just that. You don’t think I knew what I was doing when I nutted in you. Has it ever crossed your mind that I may have intentionally done the shit? I don’t do anything without thinking of every consequence.”
“You did this on purpose?”
“You got damn right I did. You want the truth. There it is. I asked you if you were in the space to receive my love. You hesitated. I thought if I gave you something I swore I didn’t want, you would realize how fucking much I cared for you.
You did the opposite. You hid it instead of talking to me about it. ”
The two of us were standing in the middle of the conference room at my very busy tech firm having a verbal sparring. Everybody in the fucking building was now privy to my business and that shit had me livid.
“Who are you?”
“Who I am no longer matters. Who you don’t want me to be is the fucking devil. Don’t force my hand, Talitha. You won’t win.”
“Make sure you tell her if she pops up at my house again, I will drag her ass.”
“She came to your house?” I asked, because I didn’t even know Adele was still in town.
“Yes she did. Telling me I needed to fix this. She didn’t build you up for me to tear you down,” she mimicked. “I should’ve beat her ass.”
“Not with my baby in your stomach, you shouldn’t have.”
“That twisted bitch will never be around my child! Fucking pedophile,” she seethed.
“I don’t give a fuck who’s around as long as I am. I love you. I’ve spoken my peace. If you can’t accept me then we can figure out a way to parent this child as amicably as possible.”
“You think I don’t want to be with you?”
“I don’t know what you want Talitha. You don’t talk to me. You keep your feelings bottled up. It’s always me expressing myself.”
“I show it.”
“Do you?” I countered. “If you did… why do I feel left out?”
“I told you why Law.”
“That’s not a good enough answer for me.”
“I don’t want to fight with you.” She sighed and plopped down in one of the chairs. “I can’t take being at war with you. I haven’t even finished grieving Gema.”
“Talitha, I’m not trying to be at war with you. All I’m trying to do is love you. That’s all I want. To love you. I know how hard things are for you. I stayed away because we needed space. Not because I wasn’t happy about the baby. Hell, I probably want the baby more than I want you,” I chuckled.
“Don’t start with me Harvey,” she groaned. “Honestly, losing Gema was hard. But the thought of losing you is harder. I can’t lose you, Law.”
“Love. You’re not losing me. Tell me what I need to do, and I will do it. But Talitha, you have to be willing to meet me halfway. I can’t do it by myself. I’m damaged just like you are. I might be a little more put together but I’m struggling.
I’ve brought my Mother here so we can work on our relationship and now I’m fighting with my love. You don’t think I’m tired.”
“I know you are. Can we call a truce?”
“The way you rolled up in here showing your ass, I don’t know. Can we?”
“You lucky I didn’t swing on you. That’s really why I came down here.” She laughed.
“Had you put your hands on me love, I would’ve bent you over this table and wore your ass out.”
“Gosh, Harvey,” she moaned. “You can’t say shit like that to me. My hormones are raging, and we haven’t connected in over a week.”
“Go home. I’ll come over after I go apologize to my colleagues.”
“Oh my God.” She covered her eyes with her hands. “Now, I’m really embarrassed.”
“You should be. Coming in here like you was about to set some shit off.” I laughed. Pulling her hands down from her face, I pulled her to her feet. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Law. And I’m sorry it took all of this for me to tell you.”
“You said it when you meant it and that’s all I could ask for. You need me to grab anything before I come home?”
“No. I’ve gotten groceries already. I was making eggrolls when Ivana Trump decided to show up on my doorstep.”
“Go home, Talitha.”
“It’s not my fault that she’s tucked and plucked.” She shrugged.
“God, I love you.” I avowed, leaning down to suck her bottom lip into my mouth.
Her hand cupped the back of my head as she pulled me into her.
When my dick started to get excited, I knew to pull back or I was gone end up bending her over.
Pecking her lips a few times, I told her.
“I’ll be there as soon as I wrap up for the day. ”
“Okay.”
Tracing her top lip with my tongue, I pecked her again as smacked her on the ass. “Leave before I can’t control my hormones.”
“Oh I am. I’ve already embarrassed myself enough,” she tittered. “Oh, before I forget.” Reaching inside of her purse, she pulled out a white envelope. I stopped by your house earlier to bring you this.”
“What’s this?” I asked and tore into the envelope. A wide smile broke out of my face when I pulled the black and white sonogram out. “Is this?”
“Our baby.” She finished my question. “Yes, Law. That’s our creation.”
“Thank you so much for this Talitha. You don’t know how much it means to me.”
“You’re thanking me for something you did intentionally. Go to Hell, Law,” she snorted. “I’ll see you at home.” She called over shoulder before walking out.
Tapping the sonogram across my heart, I smirked and slid it in my pocket. I got me one.
* * *
“Did she say when she was coming?”
“Nawl. She didn’t.” Turning up the glass of Bourbon, I downed the rest of the brown liquor and sat the empty glass down on the table.
“I sure hope she hurries up. I’ve got a thing or two to get off my chest.”
“Calm down, lady.” I laughed at my mother.
Before I headed to Talitha’s ,I had one thing I needed to do. When she mentioned Adele showing up at her house, that shit set me off. She had no right to go confront Talitha. When I reached out to her, I did so because I needed a friend.
I wasn’t in this space that I was building with my mother just yet and I knew Adele would help me sort through it.
Not only had she inserted herself in my relationship, but she’d also outed us to Talitha.
If that was her way of getting back at me for telling my mother about us then the shit didn’t go that way she intended.
When I left my office, I called her up and told her to stop by the house cause I needed to see her. It wasn’t my intentions to ambush her but my mother was in fact here and had some things to get off her chest.
Adele was out of line, and I wanted to make sure she knew she’d crossed the line with her move. A line that she couldn’t cross ever again. If she did, I would end all business with her and cut her out of my life completely.
I made sure Sincere and his guys had shit going on outside of this drug shit. We would be okay. She needed us way more than we needed her and somewhere I think she’d forgotten that. She would be reminded of it today.
“Don’t tell me to calm down, Lawton” she fussed.