Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
I was grateful that the office had quietened down by the end of the day as it meant I wouldn’t be delayed in getting away on time. Zack had phoned me to say he’d been called into a last-minute meeting so would be late back to my house too, so I fully expected Bing to be a pain in the arse later. Sarah had texted me to say she was already at Wetherspoons and had secured us a booth. This way we could sit together and go through the dating app. Perhaps we could make alterations to her profile and make it clear the age group she was looking for so there could be no more Nigels weeding their way into her dating life. Although I do wish I’d been able to read his blog.
“Hey!” I found Sarah and slid into the booth next to her. “I’m so hungry, only had a ham sandwich for lunch today. Can we order straight away?”
“Course we can,” Sarah said. “Go ahead, I’m not that hungry. I ate Dr Pineapple’s food as well as my own before I left.”
“How long before he woke up? He must have been mortified.”
“Well, unless the staff woke him up, there’s a chance he’s still there.”
“You left him asleep?” I was both shocked and highly amused.
“Of course I did!” She laughed.
“I can’t believe you. I’ll be back in a minute, I’ll go order. Are you sure you don’t want anything? I doubt that fitness instructor you dated is in here, so there’s no one to shame you if you want a bowl of chips.”
“Go on then,” she said. “Get me some chips, and maybe some chicken goujons. I’ll go grab some condiments when you get back.”
I walked over to the bar and just as I gave my order, I stepped to the side and almost bumped into a young man. He barely looked old enough to be in there.
“Sorry,” I said, as my shoulder grazed his.
“Don’t worry.” His voice was nasal. “Accidents happen.” There was something about him I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Something familiar. “Is that Sarah I saw you come in with? Sitting over there in the booth?”
“Sarah? Yes, it is. Do you know her?” I looked over at her, but she wasn’t looking our way.
“We had a romantic rendezvous. I must speak to her.”
Before I could stop him, he was making his way over to an unsuspecting Sarah.
“Wait,” I called out.
“That’ll be fourteen pounds and eighty pence,” said the barman, holding out the card reader.
Dammit. That was absolutely one hundred per cent Nigel on his way to speak to Sarah and I was going to miss it!
As soon as the payment transaction was completed, I rushed over to our booth so I could witness the alleged sex blogger in action.
“Jenny, you’re back!” Sarah was relieved at my return. “I’m so sorry, Nigel. We were having a private catch-up, so…”
“No, don’t apologise.” He had slid into the booth, making himself comfortable in my space. “I was just telling Sarah how much I enjoyed our date but, unfortunately, I don’t think another one would be sensible.”
“Really?” I had to bite my lip. I looked at Sarah, who rolled her eyes at me. “Why’s that, Nigel?”
“Well,” he began, as I sat on the other side of Sarah. She kicked my leg as I joined her. “Although Sarah is obviously a very, very beautiful lady, stunning in fact, I don’t think she is quite what I’m looking for in a partner.”
“Oh, no, that’s so sad! What a shame. She had been filling me in on your romantic meeting.” I winced as Sarah nipped me under my arm. “Sarah, are you okay? Do you need comforting?” I put my arm around her tense shoulders.
“I do think it’s for the best,” Nigel continued. “I certainly need someone not as advanced in their years.”
Sarah stiffened, and I willed myself to remain composed until Nigel had left us alone.
“I don’t think any more needs to be said, do you, Nigel?” Sarah threw him a look that could kill. “Maybe we end things here, and never speak of them, or to each other, ever again.”
“You’re upset, I understand,” he said. “It’s never nice to hear when you’re not compatible with someone. I will leave you ladies to your talk.”
Sarah’s shoulders relaxed as Nigel finally moved away from her.
“Oh, Nigel, before you go, can I ask you something?” I beckoned him back over.
“Of course.” He faced me.
“Sarah told me you write a very, very successful sex blog. Famous, in fact. I’d love to give it a read.”
“Oh my God,” Sarah whispered under her breath.
“Yes!” He fumbled in his pocket, pulling out a business card, which he handed to me. “Please, leave a review. Especially if you try the Flying Eagle. I need feedback. Actually, ladies, I have a project in mind if I may discuss it with you both. You may be up for taking part. I’m looking for two older women who wouldn’t mind…”
“Goodbye, Nigel!” Sarah’s voice was loud enough to get the attention of the bouncer near the door.
“I can’t believe you did that,” Sarah said as Nigel finally walked away. “I cannot believe you took his card. We are not reading that blog.”
“We absolutely are.” I laughed. “What the hell is a Flying Eagle?”
That weekend, Zack was doing a grand job at reading the instructions and constructing Sarah’s new furniture, and I was doing a grand job of making Sarah jealous about my upcoming two-week getaway to an all-expenses paid villa in Crete. Plus, in amongst all the commotion of our midweek post-work get-together, we had completely forgotten to discuss her dating profile.
“Two whole weeks?” she said as we were sitting on her new sofa drinking wine. We were flicking through profiles on Find Me A Date, but not having any luck. “Don’t say more, I might actually turn green.”
“Did I mention it has a tennis court?”
“Since when do you play tennis?” She laughed.
“Never.” I sipped my wine. “But when in Rome. Speaking of Rome, have you heard any more from Alessandro? Does he keep in touch?”
“Occasionally,” she said, as she swiped through the app. “We have the odd ‘How are you?’ chat and briefly tell each other what we’ve been up to, but no more than that really. He did hint about chatting on FaceTime though. Oh, what about this one?” She handed me the phone. “Twenty-eight years old, a postman–”
“Swipe left,” I interrupted. “Postmen get up early on a morning. You don’t need that on a Monday. Next.”
“But he was so hot! Imagine him slipping a parcel into your letterbox.” She pouted. “You’re so picky.”
“No, I’m experienced in this business. And if anyone messages you wanting to video-call, tell them no.”
“Are you girls okay, or do you need a rest?” Zack popped his head into the room. “Wouldn’t want you to tire yourselves out.”
He walked into the room and leaned down, kissing me on my head. “Sarah, I don’t suppose you have any scissors? I can’t find mine in my toolbox.”
“Oh yes,” she got up, passing me the phone, “I’ll get you some.” She ran down the hall and up the stairs to the loft room, which was home to many unpacked boxes. I asked if it could still be classed as a bungalow if it had steps to an upstairs room. Apparently, it can.
“How are you getting on?” I asked Zack.
“Almost there, just the wardrobe is a bit awkward.” He wiped some sweat from his upper lip.
“Do you need any help?” I felt guilty. Sarah and I had spent the whole evening gossiping whilst he got on with putting all her stuff together.
“No, it’s fine. Enjoying myself, actually. Won’t be long now.”
“Got them!” Sarah called from ‘upstairs’.
“Coming.” Zack left and made his way to meet her.
I carried on swiping through the profiles. Most of them were the same delightful guys from when I’d had the app. Left. Left. Left. Woah, what? Is that who I think it is? It can’t be. It is.
Dan.
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Dan had a profile and was looking for a relationship. I guessed he was as serious about wanting to settle down as he’d said he was when I last saw him.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Sarah joined me again on the couch.
“I think I have.” I passed her the phone and whispered, “It’s Dan.”
“Dan who? Your old ‘buddy’ with the waterbed?”
“Yes.”
“Oh right, how funny.” She had a glance at his profile. “He’s looking good. I’d forgotten what he looked like.” She reached for the bottle of wine and passed it to me so I could top up our glasses while she continued studying him. “Well, if he’s single, he’s allowed to mingle.”
“I know, I just wasn’t expecting to see him on there.” I poured out the remaining wine and placed the empty bottle down. “Good luck to him.”
It had been a while since I’d even thought about Dan, but thinking about him now, looking to date other people, made me feel uneasy. It was always weird seeing ex-boyfriends with other people, but Dan and I were never boyfriend and girlfriend. We didn’t end things with an argument or a fight. We just… ended.
“What did it say on his profile?” I asked, curious. “I didn’t read it properly. I was scared it’d swipe by accident and accidentally send you on a date with him.”
Sarah clicked back onto his profile and read it aloud.
“ My name is Dan and I am thirty-two years old from Halifax, West Yorkshire. I work as a senior mortgage advisor. I’ve had fun over the years, but now looking to settle down with the right girl who is also looking for love .”
My heart almost melted.
“ Ideally, ” she continued reading, “ someone similar in age and with a love of hiking in the Dales. I would love to find someone I could consider a best friend as well as my girlfriend .”
“Bless him,” I said, “I didn’t know he had that in him.” Also, I’d had no idea he was a senior mortgage advisor. I thought he was something in IT. If I’d known, I would have gone to him when my mortgage was up for renewal.
“You had a real impact on him it seems. ‘ Also looking for love ’. Sounds like you broke his heart and he needs someone to heal it.”
“Don’t be daft,” I knocked her with my foot, “I didn’t break his heart. We just wanted different things.”
“Yes, he wanted you, and you wanted the office eye candy who’s currently building my furniture.” She laughed. “Can’t blame you for that, but let him get on with it. If he knows what he wants, and you’re his friend, let him find someone and be as happy as you are.”
We clinked glasses and I remembered the all-important question I had to ask her. “Speaking of doing huge favours for your best friends, could you do one little, tiny, minuscule thing for me?”
“Go on.” She looked at me suspiciously.
“Please could you watch Bing for me while I’m away? Call in and check on him every other day and make sure he has some food? Fresh water? Maybe make sure he hasn’t planned world domination from my kitchen?”
“Why doesn’t he just come and stay with me while you’re away? He doesn’t like being on his own anymore, does he? I can work from home some days, so he’ll have some company.”
Bing hated being home alone now. Only I could get a cat that suffers from anxiety and depression. Staying with Sarah would be the better option. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. I’m scared he’ll claw at your brand-new couch or something. I don’t want to put him in a cattery, though.”
“It’s only two weeks. I’ll leave him in the kitchen if I have to go out, where he can’t do much damage. You should bring him around here, it’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. It’ll be a good test. To see whether or not I’m ready for my own pet.”
“I wouldn’t measure that kind of commitment against having Bing in your house.” Bing is not your normal household pet.
“Sarah?” Zack called from the bedroom. “Which wall did you want the wardrobe up against?”
“Hang on, I’ll be right there.”
Sarah ran out of the room. I picked her phone back up, looking at Dan’s profile. It was a good photo. His hair was neatly cut and he was wearing a black shirt. He looked very grown up. Very different from the Dan I remembered, although he was usually naked when I saw him. Good for him.
After Zack had finished building Sarah’s furniture, we finally arrived back at my house. Bing had been asleep on the windowsill and ran to the door to greet us as we came through, rubbing himself on our legs until Zack gave in and picked him up for a snuggle.
“Do you want some Dreamies?” he said, cradling my once human-hating cat. “Come on, let’s get some Dreamies.” He placed him back on the floor and they walked into the kitchen together, side by side.
Bing’s white tail flickered from side to side at the mention of his favourite treat. Zack was so at home here. I’d been back from Rome for a few weeks and we still hadn’t spent a night apart. It had become normal for him to just come straight here after work and stay over, and I loved it. His tenancy was almost up on the flat. There was no point in him renewing it and paying rent and bills for a place he spent no time at. We’d met each other’s families, he loved my cat and helped out my best friend without hesitation. And yet… I was nervous about broaching the subject with him. I was about to ask my boyfriend to move in with me.
I walked into the kitchen, where Zack was feeding Dreamies treats to Bing, one at a time.
“Do you fancy a coffee?” I asked, wondering how to bring something like this up.
“Yes, please.” He gave Bing his last treat and brushed the crumbs off his hands. He came up behind me and put his arms around my waist.
“So, I was thinking, you’ve been here a lot lately haven’t you?”
His body stiffened, and he held me at arm’s length. Crap. This was going wrong already.
“Are you getting sick of me?” He laughed, nervously. “I can go back to mine if you need a night to yourself.”
“No! Oh my God, no.” I turned to face him. “That came out so wrong. What I’m trying to say, is… what I mean is, we’re always together, here.” His eyes widened as I struggled to find my words. He had no idea where I was going with this. Hell, I don’t even think I knew where I was going with this. Word vomit was threatening to make a tit out of me, when what I really wanted to say was, “Do you want to move in? Properly? Officially?”
His face relaxed, he released a long breath and finally smiled.
“I thought you were subtly trying to tell me you needed a break from me. Which is fine! I’d understand.”
“I’m sorry.” I laughed, covering my face with my hands to hide my reddening cheeks. “I’m so bad at the serious stuff, but I want you to move in. I know you’ve been here every night recently anyway, but let’s make it official.” It was my turn to put my arms around his waist. “Do you want to live here? Officially?”
“Officially, yes, I do.” He leaned forward and kissed me. “Wow, we have our first holiday abroad coming up and we’re moving in together as well. This is a very grown-up year for us. We’re only in our thirties. What will your mother say, I wonder?”
“She would probably remind me that at my age she was married with two kids, had a dog and was just about ready for her inevitable divorce.” I laughed. “And then she would tell me something about my brother. Like how one of his toddlers is bound for Oxford, while my cat is bound for the asylum.”
As though he knew we were talking about him, Bing hopped up onto the kitchen counter beside us and was eyeing up the bag of Dreamies, which Zack had left on the side.
“You’ve had enough,” I said to him as he moved his gaze to Zack, eyes wide and whiskers flared in his direction. “I said enough.” Bing ignored me and continued looking at Zack. “I suppose I don’t need to consult with him whether or not you can move in, he loves having you here. I think he’d vote for me to move out if it meant you could stay.”
Zack chuckled and moved his hand to Bing’s head. Bing leaned into it as Zack scratched between his ears.
“I do love your cat,” he said.
“Aw, we’re getting soppy in our old age, too.”
Clearly repulsed by our act of soppiness, Bing hopped down and walked away.
We kissed again. I couldn’t believe how happy I was feeling. A year ago, I never would have believed anyone who said that not only would I be kissing Zack in my kitchen, but that he would actually want to move in with me. And with only a few weeks until our holiday, things could not get any better.
“What’s that noise?” Zack and I had been embracing for a few minutes, but an all too familiar sound had made its way down the hallway and into the kitchen, disturbing the peace.
“Bloody hell,” I said. “Bing. I’ll go sort it out.” Reluctantly pulling myself away, I followed the noise as Zack continued to make our drinks.
It was the all too familiar heaving sound of a cat throwing up, but where? That was the fun game. I crept carefully down the hallway, hoping there was nothing disguised in the beige carpet.
“Oh my God,” is all I could say.
“What? What’s happened?”
Zack came running to the bottom of the stairs and found me with my hands covering my face. All I could do was point to our coats, which were in a heap on the bottom step.
“Are you sure you want to move in here?” I managed to say, before I involuntarily gagged at the sight of a combination of hairball, Dreamies and various stomach contents spread over our coats.
“Huh, too many treats do you think?” Zack asked, guiltily. “I’ll sort these out.” Zack carefully scooped up our soiled coats and took them up to the bathroom. He passed a proud-looking Bing on the top step. “Not cool, bro. Not cool.”
Bing looked down at me.
“Don’t look at me, ” I said to him. “ You pissed him off, not me.”