Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
Taking refuge behind his old camera—something he didn’t do as much since he’d been moved to producing multiple shows—Remy had too much time to think about all the ways his life was crumbling beneath his feet.
He adjusted the lighting for an interior shot of Erin at The Strand as she spoke with a customer who’d brought in a clothing donation.
Remy wished he’d been the one to put the smile on her face.
Instead, he’d screwed up Erin’s nice dinner by unloading details from his personal nightmares that he hadn’t shared with anyone else.
Who the hell would have guessed she’d come out with “hope springs eternal” for a toast?
Strangely, he hadn’t experienced the same guilt he usually did when he thought about Liv.
Instead, it’d felt like a ghostly slap in the face to get his act together and move on.
Then, today, Sarah’s bombshell had pulled the rug out from under him completely.
He’d called the family counselor—someone he hadn’t seen for months—and left a message, but the guy hadn’t called back yet.
Sarah’s personal therapist was out today.
And yeah, he freely admitted he needed professional help to run his own life. Despite the paid experts on the payroll, he was screwing everything up. What would Liv have said if she knew Remy hadn’t helped Sarah with those application forms?
His daughter had been at the salon longer than him.
She’d ridden her bike over as soon as she’d changed while he had hung back to check out of the B and B.
And pull his head together after her suggestion that he wasn’t much of a family.
After all the time he’d taken off to be there for her?
Or at least to be around the house? True, they hadn’t spent much time together in those months, but they’d both been in mourning, and, honest to Pete, most days he could barely keep his head above water.
“Remy?” Erin approached while he sent a few segments of the new video from his mini Sony camcorder to his laptop.
He’d given Sarah the big Nikon to interview some of the customers coming into the store. He tried not to take up too much room with his equipment—he had set up in a corner of the nail salon—but Erin still had to step over cords to get to him.
“Does the camera distract you?” He studied her face, wishing he’d been a better guest or a better friend when she’d been kind enough to invite him to dinner Sunday.
“I’d hoped that by filming some preliminary shots of your work today, we’d have more cutaways available for the final episode.
That means the full production crew won’t have to spend as much time in Last Chance Vintage. ”
“That would be great.” She had seemed at ease enough when she’d been talking to customers, but she regarded the equipment with wariness.
“I wanted to mention that the salon will be giving away a haircut and makeover to one of the women who is in the Dress for Success program. If she’ll talk about her experience, it would be inspiring for others to hear. ”
“Definitely point her out to me when she arrives.” He turned the laptop so Erin could see some of his footage. “You look great, by the way.”
“I tried to tone it down a little with the blouse.” She tugged on the hem of her white poet’s shirt with lace cuffs.
“But it’s like my hand was calibrated to land on this leather piece.
” She pantomimed the irresistible draw of it, her fingers landing on the studded collar of the black biker jacket she wore over the white blouse and black leggings.
“You’ve got a rocker vibe.” He grinned. “In my dreams, I’ll always see you with an air compressor in one hand.”
The words were laced with a flirtation he hadn’t intended to share but definitely felt. Despite the hum of hair dryers and salon chatter all around them, the rest of the room disappeared for the space of a few charged heartbeats.
Erin quirked her eyebrow. “Dreaming about me? Maybe it’s your subconscious telling you a walk on the wild side would be good for you.
” She hadn’t looked at him, keeping her eyes on his laptop, watching the live feed from Sarah’s outdoor shots on half the screen and the footage Remy had taken of her on the other half.
His hands were drawn to her in the same way she’d described being drawn to the leather jacket. But he resisted. Did not move near her. But the pull was undeniable.
“Believe me, I’m getting the messages loud and clear from my subconscious, my regular conscious and every other sentient part of my being.
” He kept his voice low as he stood beside her, her ear at the level of his mouth and making quiet confidences easy.
“But I’ve been leaving a path of destruction in my wake this year and I like you way too much to risk… hurting you.”
There it was. The bald truth he hadn’t been able to speak out loud the other night at her place when they’d been alone. When he could have acted on it. He wanted Erin. No question. He knew it for certain as he stood beside her, the amber scent of her in his nose.
He wanted her with a fierceness he hadn’t been ready to acknowledge until today. Now he was too raw to keep his feelings to himself when he had a flight booked for tonight that could take him away from her forever. Nothing had happened between them, but he wanted her to know he’d thought about it.
A lot.
“That should have been my choice, not yours.” Erin’s blue eyes found his with a laser intensity that drove straight through him. “My heart. My risk.”
Their gazes locked, the tension between them crackling to life.
She broke the connection and walked away from him, the studs on her jacket glinting in the overhead lights.
He didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until it rushed out in a gust. He thought he’d been doing the right thing putting the brakes on what he felt for her, when he still hadn’t come to terms with the past let alone mapped out any kind of path for the future. Apparently, Erin disagreed.
How would he leave town tonight with that knowledge hanging over his head?
Grinding his teeth in frustration, he picked up his camera and approached the woman she’d asked him to interview.
He might have disappointed Erin in other ways, but he planned to make the best damn episode of Interstate Antiquer the show had ever produced.
It wouldn’t be enough to make it up to her for leaving town so suddenly, especially after how kind she’d been to him and Sarah.
For now, however, it was all he had to offer.
“Thanks to Erin and Dress for Success, I got an outfit for that interview.” Jamie Raybourn smiled for the camera, her eyes closed while a makeup artist worked on one of her eyelids with a dove-gray shadow.
“Now I’m going back to work and I have a real chance of keeping my apartment, too.
I’m so much happier out from under the shadow of a man who didn’t think I could do anything on my own.
One day, I might even get my son back, too. ”
Erin’s heart clenched tightly at the thought of all this woman had endured.
She hadn’t told Bethany about Jamie’s circumstances, letting the woman’s skills win or lose her the job in the interview.
She’d wrestled with what to do. Bethany might have been swayed to hire Jamie if she knew what the woman had faced: an ex-boyfriend who wasn’t just a cheating bastard, but also liked to shove her around when he drank.
Unfortunately, Jamie had never pressed charges after those incidents, so it was his word against hers when she could have used all the ammunition possible to maintain custody of their son.
Now that she had a job, however, her chances of holding steady and keeping her child with her full time were much improved.
“I’m so happy for you, Jamie.” Erin squeezed the woman’s arm as Jamie opened her eyes and saw herself in the mirror.
Jamie squeezed back. “You don’t know how close I was to losing everything.”
Her voice broke, and the makeup artist stepped away, looking unsure what to do. Erin gestured to Remy to stop filming the interview segment, but Jamie held up a hand.
“No. It’s okay.” She reached for a tissue box on the small counter in front of the mirror and pulled free a blue swath to dab under her eyes without smudging the makeup. “He asked me if I wanted to share my story and I said yes. I stand by that. Not all the parts are pretty.”
Inwardly, Erin cheered her bravery and decision. But left in the camera spotlight alone with Jamie, she had no idea what to say.
Help came from an unexpected source. Sarah rushed up behind Jamie’s chair and met the woman’s tearful gaze in the mirror.
“You look amazing,” she said with the earnest honesty of a child, bending close so her face was beside Jamie’s in the mirror. “Concentrate on that part because that is really pretty.”
Of course Sarah’s words made the tears Jamie had been holding back spill down her cheeks, but she was smiling again.
“You sweet thing.” She patted Sarah’s cheek. “I do feel better now that I look better. I just hope I can do the ‘new me’ justice when I try to reproduce it in the mirror Monday, my first day at my new job.”
Erin glanced at Remy while Sarah and the makeup artist chatted about the specifics of Jamie’s hair and makeup.
Erin wondered if she should be doing something differently or if she should just back out of the camera shot now that her part was sort of done.
But although Remy didn’t look through the camera lens, he wasn’t looking at Erin.
His eyes were on Sarah as if seeing her for the first time.
Was he surprised at her ease in front of the camera?
Or maybe just struck by how grown-up she seemed?
Erin didn’t know and didn’t pretend to understand their relationship, but it had to be a good thing that Remy was giving his daughter the chance she’d driven all the way from Miami to take. She wanted his attention, sure.