23. BAILEE
BAILEE
I was sore, but the good kind of sore. The kind of sore that reminded me of the ache between my legs and the heightened sensations was a result of letting myself feel. I felt drunk and delirious on happiness. For the first time in a long time, I was happy . I didn’t want to shut myself in my room and write my life away. I wanted to cherish it. I wanted to keep it. I wanted to do it again.
We had moved around in the last fifteen minutes, the aftercare these men provided coming with warm clothes and blankets while they held me on the floor, Mason and Benji on either side of me, Angelo between my thighs, looking just as fucked out as I felt.
However, my heart sunk into my stomach as I realized the implications of this night. They made me realize all the things I was missing out on based on the box everyone stuffed me into. I was fragile. I was unstable. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. That’s what everyone told me and so I conformed. I molded myself into this little box to please everyone else.
And everyone was pleased, more or less, except for myself.
“Sweetheart?”
My body tightened as a hand dragged down my bare stomach before I remembered where I was. Right. In the back of Angelo’s club. With three beautiful men. The reality of my situation began to sink in – these men had just taken me for a ride, but they couldn’t possibly-
“She’s in her head again. Lee, sweetheart.” Another hand caressed the side of my cheek and I turned to face the body attached to it. Another naked man was pressed against my side and I heaved a deep breath as I stared into his eyes. “Lee, stop thinking so hard. We’re not messing with you. This isn’t some big joke. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. We aren’t expecting anything from you other than maybe a few goodnight kisses.”
“But-”
Angelo rested between my legs before surging forward to steal a kiss. “I could-”
Benji shot him a glare but I knew the end of those words – ‘I could get used to this’. The problem wasn’t that I didn’t want to hear them. The problem was that I could get used to this. But I was only here for a few more days before I had to return to my boring ass life, ruled by my parents and a therapist.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Mason stroked my cheek from the other side and I shivered from the care that rang through his tone.
I bit my lip, someone’s thumb tugging it from my teeth before Benji angled my head to kiss me. God, this was too good. Their attentions were on me, no other distractions in sight. I really didn’t have to be a passing ship in the night, did I?
“Um… what if I just… didn’t go back?” I couldn’t tell if the stillness in the air was a good or bad shock. My words were too impulsive but it felt right. I think I deserved one impulsive decision. My mind ran at hyperspeed as I sifted through my options. Thinking about this while we were all naked was a bit strange, but I needed to do this. If not now, when? I could find a job out here and set up residence and…
“Fuck, really?” Angelo sat up on his knees, his thick cock resting between his thighs, tempting me to do something about it. He looked both adorable and flushed from Mason going to town on his ass, heat building in my lower belly at the look of ecstasy on his face when he had come a second time.
I mulled over my decision again and then nodded. “Yeah, what if I didn’t go back?”
“No way you’re fucking real,” He mumbled before kissing me soundly.
Benji was next, kissing just as sensually as Angelo. “Like a goddamn unicorn.”
“Um…” I struggled to sit up completely, meeting three excited faces in the dim lights. “I… I need to go make plans.” Cold air swirled through the room and moved across my breasts as the blankets slipped, three pairs of eyes dipping to my chest. My face heated as I vainly tried to cover myself the moment Angelo scooted from between my legs.
Mason chuckled and tugged me onto his lap, adding his kiss to the pile. I moaned into it and he pulled away before we extended the night. “Hey, think it over. Sleep on it. Meet us at the tiki bar around 11 alright? Let us know then.” I opened my mouth to protest, to tell them that I had thought about it but Mason shook his head. “Sweetheart. Uprooting your life is a big decision. We would know because that’s how we’re all here. I need to know that after the sex haze dies, that trying something new is still on your radar.”
I understood that much, kissing them all again, the heat rising in my belly. Before we could restart, we shoved ourselves into our clothes, giggling like high school idiots as we tossed articles of clothing about and tried to find undergarments and shirts. The high didn’t last long.
It lasted till the moment I swung open our villa door, Malia shoving me against the wall the moment I stepped over the threshold. I lost my smile immediately as she sneered into my face. “I saw you! You little whore! Running around with the DJ too?” I used to cower in moments like this. Then again, there had never been a moment like this . I had never once taken what I wanted, not since my last incident. Nevertheless, I remained silent. “ I go out. Hell, even our older sister goes out. You don’t. You wallow. You write. You freak out. What are you trying to do slutting your way across the island?”
Elissa appeared in the foyer, slightly inebriated. She waved off my silent concern with a roll of her eyes before addressing Malia. “That’s uncalled for. I took her out to have a little fun last night and by the looks of it, she decided to indulge. It’s her vacation too.”
Malia growled at our older sister, her arm still effectively pinning me against the wall. “She cut the DJ’s set short last night and tonight, he wasn’t even there.”
He was but he was fucking me while his boyfriend fucked him. It was glorious.
“Good for her,” Elissa added a shrug to punctuate her point as I shifted my position to release myself from Malia’s hold.
Malia huffed at me, fists clenched. “No, you don’t understand…”
I took a deep breath and decided to risk my comfort zone. I needed to stand up for myself, especially since I was about to make the biggest decision of my life. “No, you don’t understand. I’m not your mat to walk all over anymore. Who I choose to spend my time with has nothing to do with you either.”
That’s when Zak filtered in, asking what all the yelling was for. His eyes were bloodshot and he was way drunker than Elissa was. I could only imagine that he had finally caught his fiancé with someone else on the island and had decided to drink his worries away.
I would address that, but not now. I had a point to make, and if I didn’t use the remaining courage that those three beautiful men had given me, I wouldn’t be able to take this step again.
“I am an adult and I make my own decisions regardless of whether or not you approve. But that’s just it, I don’t need your approval. I am not your subordinate, your babysitter, or any of the five hundred other things you keep shoving in my face. It is not my fault that you have made terrible decisions or you try to make our parents feel bad so that they keep supporting your lifestyle. The men you ‘claim’ never actually want you. I found honest to god men who looked at me in the last few days. Me. Not my problems. Not my money. Just me. And I fucking loved it. I went back for more because it’s not a feeling I’m used to.”
I was heated and on a roll now, but one glance at Elissa had me continuing. She was all the encouragement I needed. That and the lingering words of Phoenix hanging out in the back of my mind.
“I also realized I don’t like feeling like shit, like I have to hide every emotion from you guys because you think I’m acting out. I have a voice and I’m ready to fucking use it. And that’s why at the end of the week, when ya’ll board that plane and go back to the real world, I’m not fucking going with you.”
Zak’s gasp of disbelief was the only thing that penetrated the silence between us. And for once, all of my siblings’ attention was on me but not because I was breaking down, but because I was taking charge and standing up for myself. It wasn’t something they were used to, but it was about time I started doing it.
“I’m trying something new. I’m going to follow my heart and do what I want for once. I don’t care if you guys don’t like it or don’t approve. I’m staying.” I punctuated that thought by pushing past Malia, jabbing my elbow into her gut to move her out of the way. Malia and Zak were too stunned to respond but Elissa clapped as she leaned against the wall, stopping me in my tracks.
“It’s about fucking time. Welcome back, baby sis. I’ve been waiting for you for a long fucking time.” She pulled me into a big hug. “That little fire that used to shine so brightly? Today’s the first time I’ve seen it light up.”