Chapter 32 – Jensen
“You want something else to drink?” Lawson asks me cautiously.
I’ve only known the guy for two days, but I can already tell he’s good as hell. The kind of man who notices tone shifts and body language and files it all away without saying anything unless he needs to.
I’d bet good money Dani filled him in on whatever version of the story she has, assuming Kitty told her anything at all about what happened between us.
In the past, I’d have said ‘no way she would tell her sister.’ Catalina is the type to keep things close to the chest. But tonight feels a hell of a lot different.
Dani’s been watching me all dinner, her gaze a little too assessing, like she’s deciding what she wants to ask me first and keeps coming back to silence being the best policy.
“I’ll take a water. Been sober for almost a year now.” Unless you count that small break in judgment in San Jose. I regret that. I won’t let it happen again.
“Good man,” Hayes says with a nod before he and Lawson take off toward the bar.
He probably thinks it's because I'm prepping for my upcoming ride.
But it'll always be because one very serious, very smart doctor told me I needed to be careful now that she fixed my heart.
And whether she believes it or not, I've listened to everything she's said.
I watch them go, then glance around the Whitewood Creek restaurant. For everything that's happened—whatever the hell me and Catalina are, and the way my chest feels like it's collapsing in on itself—I genuinely like her extended family. And I think they might actually like me back.
Hayes and I crossed paths back when he was still riding, but this new version of him is a complete one-eighty from the guy I knew in his younger years.
He's grounded, steady, more confident in himself, and the happiest I've ever seen him working in medicine as the chief of the Whitewood Creek small-town hospital.
And his wife, Regan Marshall—hell, you can tell she’s helped him with all that and made him into a better man.
They say that the happiness of a man relies heavily on the relationship he has with his woman.
I remember the stories about Hayes being a menace back in the day.
A legend with the ladies who swore he'd never settle down and marriage wasn’t in the cards.
People change, and that’s the thing that’s been eating at me.
I've changed too. I’ve wanted this. This family energy.
People who know your history and want to talk about it. I’m ready.
I didn’t grow up with any of that. It was always just me and my grandma and a whole lot of silence where parents and siblings should’ve been. Being around it now makes me realize I missed out on something crucial that I'll never get a shot at unless I have my own family.
This is what I want with Catalina so badly it damn near hurts.
“So…” Regan plops down beside me the second her husband leaves the table. And just like that, I’m boxed in. Dani on my left, Regan on my right. Two women who clearly love Catalina and look like they might skin me alive if I say the wrong thing about her.
They don't need to worry about that. I don't have a single bad word to say about my Pulse.
“This feels like a setup by your husbands,” I say with a chuckle.
Dani smiles sweetly. “Lawson would never.”
“Neither would Hayes,” Regan adds. "But they would do anything we asked, so..."
I shake my head. “What’s up?”
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Regan says evenly.
I scrub a hand over my jaw. “I’m guessing you both already know how badly I fucked things up with Catalina?”
They nod in unison.
Regan leans back slightly. “You had to know that would hurt her, right? Being a woman doctor in a male-dominated field can't be easy.”
"You're constantly second guessed," Dani adds.
Regan nods. “I grew up with all brothers and they never treated me like I was weaker, but the world did. ‘The Marshall men are capable of doing anything they try.’” She deepens her voice mockingly.
“And then… their sister. The sweet one who never caused any trouble.
My brother's notoriety overshadowed everything I attempted. I had to go to school on the other side of the country to figure out who I was.”
“Seems like you turned out okay,” I say.
She nods. “But I had to prove myself and work ten times harder than them. It took me a while to find my own success.”
Dani nods in agreement. "It was the same thing for me in tech sales. My boss was a male who got more attention than me from buyers despite me outselling him. I was constantly forced to explain myself, even when I had already made it. It was stressful and took a toll on me physically. My sister’s accomplished so much and has awards to her name.
So yeah... I can imagine how it felt for her to think you doubted her professional, clinical judgment.
Even if it was your trainer who called the guy up for the consult, she hadn’t realized that at first and by the time you said that the damage was already done. ”
Regan nods. "Totally."
“And for it to be her ex...,” Dani murmurs softly, shaking her head. “It’s bullshit.”
Every muscle in my body freezes. “What?”
Her eyes widen. She blinks fast then slaps a hand over her mouth. “Oh. Oh shit. I forgot you didn't know that part.”
The air in the room shifts. I hold my breath, my gaze bouncing between her and Regan. Neither of them answers quickly enough to explain.
“Didn’t know what?” I ask slowly.
Her gaze flicks to Regan. Regan’s blue eyes go wide in surprise.
“Wait,” Regan says carefully. “Jensen doesn't know that Doctor Davis is Catalina’s ex-fiancé?”
Everything inside me detonates. My chair scrapes violently backward, clattering to the floor. I yank my hat off and rake a hand through my hair, my pulse roaring in my ears.
If I’d thought I'd lost it when Catalina hopped on a plane to the West Coast without us having a certain future, well, I've just found it. I tug hard at the back of my neck like I can physically pull the anger that she kept this one very major detail from me.
“Tell me you’re joking. Tell me that’s not true.”
Dani bites down on her lip to stop herself from saying anything more. Regan shakes her head. “It’s true.”
“I always thought he was jealous of her,” Dani says softly.
“Of how talented she is. About all the accolades that she won for the lives she saved. She’s always been good at everything she tries.
Not only surgery—I mean everything. It was honestly so intimidating being her younger sister and following her, but the older we got I realized that's her. She's incredible.”
“I know,” I bite out. “Everything she touches, even the first time she tries it, she masters it. She's the most talented,” I draw in a deep breath, "and fucking infuriating, beautiful woman I've ever met."
Dani nods slowly. “Doctor Davis cheated on her. And he got the girl he cheated with pregnant.”
“I know.”
Her eyes widen, clearly surprised that Catalina told me that much.
Maybe, in another version of myself from a few weeks ago, I’d feel some twisted sense of pride at knowing these private, ugly details about the woman I love—proof that she trusted me with something no one else had.
But not this time. That knowledge doesn’t make me feel closer to her.
It makes my stomach turn because I didn’t know who Doctor Davis was to her.
I wish it hadn't happened. I wish more than anything that she’d just told me who he was so that the moment that man entered my space at the San Jose arena, I could have knocked his teeth straight out of his stupid, smug mouth.
I see now that I didn’t just come across as doubting her; I let her ex—the man who hurt her—step into a space that was supposed to be hers alone.
No wonder she looked at me like that when she saw me outside in the hallway. No wonder she walked away and pushed me away even after my apology.
No wonder it hurt so deeply.
I drag a hand over my face and then plant both palms on the top of my head, tipping my chin toward the ceiling as I squint against the dim lights of the bar.
It’s fully dark out now. Night has settled into North Carolina heavy and thick.
Catalina is somewhere in the air, probably touching down in San Jose in the next hour.
Already mentally scrubbing in. Already shifting into that razor-sharp focus that she gets when someone’s life is on the line.
In two days, a little girl’s entire future will be beating in her hands.
And she’ll be doing it in the same hospital as her piece-of-shit ex-fiancé.
Possibly with him watching her every move from some gallery like a bad episode of “Grey's Anatomy” and feeling smug because he undercut her authority by examining my completely fine shoulder after she already cleared me.
This is the man who shattered her self-esteem.
Who made her doubt herself. Who probably convinced her she was cold and unreachable—when she’s the warmest damn person I’ve ever known.
The kind of woman who radiates light without even trying.
The kind of woman men like him don’t know how to love, so they tear down instead.
He never saw her goodness. He never deserved it. And he threw away the best thing that could have ever happened to him. I refuse to let him have a glimpse of what's always felt like mine. I refuse to let him dim her light in any more ways from here on out.
My jaw tightens.
How was I so blind? So fucking na?ve? How did I not put it together sooner? It’s almost too clean. Too calculated. Like he orchestrated the whole thing just to undermine her one last time. To take something precious from her again.
Does Kitty see it that way too? Does she think I knew? No, I know the answer. She knows I didn’t know. She knows I didn’t ask for the consult. But that doesn't change the way I feel manipulated and used because he used me to hurt her. Again.
And I fucking hate being used. Fucking hate being treated like I'm too stupid to catch on.
“No wonder she was so hurt,” I breathe, the realization sinking deep and heavy as both women nod. “Why didn’t she tell me who he was?”
Dani hesitates. “Maybe because it didn’t matter who it was, it still would have hurt. Or maybe she was embarrassed by her reaction like he could still hurt her. Or maybe she just didn’t want to give him any more space in her life than he already took.”
She trails off. The reason no longer matters. I don't need answers to questions that only Kitty can give. I already know what I’m going to do.
"Everything good?" Hayes asks as he and Lawson return to the table.
No, everything's not good. I was supposed to stay in Whitewood Creek for another day before heading to San Diego. Supposed to get advice from Hayes about easing into retirement, about letting go of this life I’ve lived for close to two decades.
But I don’t need tips on how to walk away anymore. I already know how and I’m going to do it just fine.
I’ve ridden for years. I’ve proven what I needed to prove.
I made my grandma proud. I showed my town that a kid like me could make it out and come back with something to show for it.
I’ve saved my money. I’ve invested. I’m set enough that I don’t have to chase another eight seconds if I don’t want to.
And maybe it was always bullshit, the story that I told myself about not being smart enough, not being built for a normal life.
Because I’m capable. I can start over doing something else that doesn't require me to sit at a desk and crunch numbers. And more than that, if Catalina believes in my ability to have a second chance, then I believe in myself. That’s all that matters.
Retiring isn’t a sacrifice anymore. It’s a choice. And I want to choose her. I want to choose a life where I get to wake up next to my woman, not have her wondering if I'll survive the night to see daylight.
“I gotta go,” I say.
They don’t argue. They just stand, hug me tight, and promise to keep in touch. I grab the bag that I've been living out of for the past three months and sling it over my shoulder. Then I’m gone...
Straight to the airport. Straight to the West Coast.