Chapter 16 #2
‘I’m so sorry, Sawyer.’ It’s all I can offer him.
I can’t change what happened. I can’t stop his dad from hurting him—even though I desperately wish I could—just like he can’t stop mine.
But I can give him understanding, and someone to talk to.
Because I’ve spent plenty of lonely nights in my bedroom wishing someone would sit on my bed next to me. Just to be there.
Sawyer sighs out a shaky breath. ‘He threw a bottle of whisky at the wall next to my head. It smashed to pieces and a chunk of glass sliced my face … He made me not come in ’til it healed more.
Didn’t let me go to the hospital to get it stitched or nothing.
Too scared of the questions they’d ask. Y’know, Wyatt’s mom is a nurse there. She’d wonder.’
A sob lurches in my throat.
He scrunches up his nose, fighting the silver tears lining his eyes. ‘I don’t care that he hurt me. I think I’m almost immune to the pain now, but …’ Slowly, his hand runs up my arm to where I’m still caressing his face. ‘Can I hold you?’
The contention I expect to run wild in my mind never surfaces. Because I want it so badly. To be held by him. To finally uncover the solace I’ve thought might lie in his arms, when I’ve only ever had his hands before.
I’ve barely even nodded before Sawyer wraps his arms around me, pulling me between his legs so that I’m cradled against his chest. His heart hammers beneath my ear as his fingers splay out over my back, never dipping further than polite.
It’s glorious—the way my body slots against his so easily, the way he fills the emptiness in me I’m always so aware of, the way my nerves are suddenly electrified at his touch.
With a sigh of relief, Sawyer’s body caves in, dropping further into the shower’s spray. Hot water pours over us like a relentless storm, but I happily weather it, knowing I’m safe in the arms circling me.
‘It’s my face, Blue.’ He mumbles against my head.
‘That’s the one thing he never touches. I need my face—to make myself look brave, even when my body is bruised.
It’s my best piece of disguise. My face is the one thing I feel like I have against him.
He knows I can’t hide my face, so he can’t hurt it. ’
I spread my hand out over his chest, above his racing heart. Sawyer rests his cheek against my hair, encompassing me even further into his warmth. But then he brokenly whispers, ‘Tell me something good so I don’t forget it exists, Blue.’
My heart shatters. But it’s not just something good he needs right now, it’s hope. So, I quietly admit, ‘I got into Powell University.’
Sawyer abruptly angles his head back, gazing down at me with the beginnings of a grin that rouses the kind of butterflies in my stomach I don’t want to bat away anymore. ‘Shit—sorry. That’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.’
‘I know … I—I told my mom too.’ His arms stiffen around me, but I just nuzzle into him further, making him relax again. ‘She was so happy.’
Even as I admit it, my heart beats at the prospect, the freedom that the future is finally putting closer to my reach. And the light blossoming in Sawyer’s eyes suggests he sees the same.
‘She … Sawyer, she said she was sorry for not doing more. For not protecting me, but that she barely had the strength to protect herself …’ Her bruises are practically mirrors of mine.
God knows how many years before me she had to endure that pain too.
‘We’re going to leave. I just have to hold on ’til graduation. ’
I don’t know if it’s the promise of freedom or the way Sawyer’s shiny eyes take me in with what seems a lot like wonder, but boldness soars through me, forcing me to admit, ‘I couldn’t have done it without you.
You know that, Sawyer? I had the strength to apply to college and tell my mom because of you.
When I’m with you, I feel strong enough to keep going.
To make it to the end of the year. That day you noticed the bruises on my wrist, I’d been up crying all night, unsure how I was going to find the strength to keep pretending.
You gave me that strength. With your jokes and your inability to stop talking.
’ Sawyer grins at that—so darn handsome.
‘But also with your understanding, your kindness, and your effortless belief in me.’
A faint blush stains his high cheekbones, and I let myself indulge in truly admiring him for once—the strength of his angled jaw, the way the water droplets cling to his long lashes like small crystals, and those stupid dimples that finally got to me.
Especially when he’s smiling down at me like now.
‘We’re gonna get through this, okay? Together, we’re strong enough.
We’re Noah Stetson and Georgia Hart, after all.
’ That has him chuckling lightly. I find his hand and filter my fingers between his, instantly emboldened by our connection.
‘I know I can’t stop your dad, but when you’re not feeling whole, I’ll give you my strength. Just like you give me yours.’
Sawyer nods and tightens his hold on me. ‘I’d be honoured to just have a fraction of you, Blue.’
We sit there, curled into each other, letting the water wash away our fears and the clouds of steam hide us from the treachery of the world for just a moment.
A moment where we can feel whole for once—not broken in half by pain.
A moment where we can experience what it truly feels like to trust, and maybe, just maybe, love.