Chapter 24 Iris
IRIS
Jamie crashed about twenty minutes ago, his determined mission to stay awake until midnight foiled by his four-year-old body’s need for sleep.
“Should we just put on a movie?” Collin suggests, voice low as he gestures to my now-snoring son.
I nod, grateful for the distraction from the way Collin’s presence in my living room seemed to shrink everything else around him.
We settle on some action movie I’ve been meaning to watch but can’t focus on even if my life depended on it.
Not with Collin sitting beside me, his leg occasionally brushing mine when he reaches for his drink or shifts in his seat.
Ace’s tailed thumps the cushion next to me, head resting against Jamie’s leg and I absently reach over to scratch him behind the ears.
My gaze drifts to Jamie’s peaceful face, his cheeks flushed from the excitement and now slack with sleep.
Ace’s head is tucked over the top of Jamie’s feet.
The movie plays on, explosions and car chases creating a stark contrast to the stillness that settles over us.
It's strange how natural it feels, Collin being here. The way he stepped up today without hesitation—first with the soup this morning, then immediately volunteering to go to the store when I mentioned the party. No questions, just support. He’d shown up with enough groceries to feed an army, anticipating needs I hadn’t even voiced yet.
I didn’t know what to do with that. That new feeling of being seen, being cared for and noticed in both small and big moments.
That feeling of no longer being invisible or viewed as inconvenient.
It’s also strange how natural it feels watching him with Jamie.
He adores Collin in a way that both excites and terrifies me.
I also adore Collin and I still have no idea what to do with that particular feeling.
“He really likes you,” I say softly, the words slipping out before I can stop them. Collin glances at Jamie, his expression softening in a way that makes something flutter in my chest.
“He’s a great kid.”
“No, I mean it.” I twist slightly to face him, keeping my voice low so as not to disturb Jamie.
“I’ve noticed how he gravitates toward you whenever you’re around.
He doesn’t usually do that with new people.
” Collin brightens at that, one corner of his mouthing hitching upwards.
“The hockey gear...” I begin, feeling suddenly vulnerable.
“That was really thoughtful of you. He was so excited.” Collin’s eyes stay glued on Jamie.
“I was about his age when I started skating. It... it kind of saved me, you know?” He pauses, seeming to search for the right words.
“Not that our situations are similar, it’s just..
.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t know.
I wanted to do something for him.” It’s hard to breathe when he says things like that.
Hard to think past the feeling of my heart squeezing in my chest.
“Owen never did things like that,” I say quietly. Collin stays quiet, giving me space to continue.
“He never really...” I pause, searching for the right words.
“He was happy to let me handle all of the birthdays and Christmas gifts. I’d spend hours trying to find the perfect presents, and he’d just say ‘put my name on whatever you get him.’ Like it was a chore.
” I glance at the hockey sticks propped in the corner, remembering Jamie’s excited expression when he opened them earlier tonight.
How Collin knelt down to his level, showing him how to hold them properly, never rushing, never showing frustration when Jamie couldn’t quite get it right.
“You didn’t have to think of him,” I whisper. “But you did.”
“I wanted to,” Collin says. Those same words he’s said so many times before.
I want to. Did he know he was rearranging every twisted piece inside me with just those three words?
Did he have any idea how monumental they were?
He was looking at me now, dark eyes steady and clear.
“It wasn’t an obligation, Iris.” He swallows, and there’s a small shake of his head.
“You and Jamie are not an obligation. It is the greatest privilege of my life to be here.” I stare at him, feeling like the air has been sucked from the room.
“You really mean that, don’t you?” I ask, my voice small, almost shy.
“Every word,” Collin says without hesitation.
No deflection, no joke to lighten the mood.
My mind flashes to earlier that evening, to Hayes’s teasing voice in the kitchen.
Careful, lover boy. Don’t make me embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.
The word had hung in the air, making me freeze up, my hands stilling over the bowl of chips.
Nick had quickly changed the subject, but the moment lingered with me.
At the time, I thought Hayes was just trying to get a rise out of him, trying to make things awkward.
But now, sitting here with Collin’s words hanging between us, I was struck by a realization that shocked me to my core: I wanted that label to be true.
I wanted to be more than whatever undefined thing we currently were.
I’d resigned myself to being alone after Owen, had built walls so high and so thick I was certain no one would ever breach them again.
I’d made peace with that, or thought I had.
And yet here I was, standing at a precipice, just an inch from falling over.
Jamie stirs against me, reminding me of his weight and warmth. I glance down at my son, grateful for something to break the eye contact.
“I should get him to bed,” I say softly, my voice not quite steady. Collin shifts, making to stand, and I reach out, my hand landing on his forearm. The contact sends a jolt through me.
“Please don’t go,” I say quickly. “I’ll be right back.” He settles back against the couch, something unreadable flickering across his face.
“I’ll be here.” I carefully scoop Jamie up, his warm weight familiar against my chest. He mumbles something incoherent, his head lolling against my shoulder as I carry him down the hallway to his room.
Ace pads behind us, his nails clicking softly against the hardwood floors.
Jamie doesn’t stir as I lay him down on his bed, tucking his dinosaur comforter around him.
Ace jumps up immediately, circling twice before curling up at the foot of the bed, his tail wrapping around himself protectively near Jamie’s feet.
I run my hand over his soft head, and he huffs out a contented breath.
I stand there for a moment, watching them both, feeling a fullness in my chest that’s almost painful.
I close the door behind me with a soft click, venturing back into the living room where Collin grins at me from his spot on the couch.
The sight makes my heart stutter. He’d been in my house before, hell, he’d been giving me that same smile for months, but something about it had changed.
It all feels so normal now, like he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be. Like he’s home.
“You wanna watch something else?” He reaches for the remote as I stare at him, rumpled team hoodie, messy hair from wrestling with Jamie and his friends earlier.
“Actually.” I pause, tongue wetting my lips. “I was thinking about going to bed.” His smile falters before he quickly recovers, nodding his head as he rubs his hands over his thighs, scanning the room for his keys.
“Right—uh, sorry. I should... I should go.” He gives me a sheepish grin, hand scratching the back of his neck. “I should get Ace,” he says, eyes wide as he stands, registering that his dog hadn’t come back from Jamie’s room.
“Or um, you know, you could... stay,” I rush out, words hanging in the air between us.
My hands twist Jamie’s dino stuffy. Collin’s knees hit the table, making our glasses rattle.
Eyebrows shooting into his hair. “Only if you want,” I add, chest tight, heart hammering.
Damn it, when did he start making me so nervous?
He swallows, smile tugging at his lips. Those perfect lips that damn near kissed the life out of me a week ago. Had I lost my mind? Probably. Oh well.
“I want to.” His words are quiet as we stare at each other from across the room.
He drops his eyes to the couch, doing this little half turn before glancing back up at me.
“Here? Or?” I can’t help but smile, lips pressing together as I try and fail to tamp it down.
Well, at least I’m making him nervous too.
“Or... with me.” I shift on my feet, still ringing the dino in my hands. Poor Spike. Collin nods, head bobbing rapidly before his words can catch up.
“Y-yeah. Yes. Okay.” I lead him down the hall and into my room, taking it all in for the first time as if I were seeing it through his eyes.
The romance novels stacked neatly on every surface, the nightstand, the dresser.
More lining my windowsill. The hamper overflowing with clothes I haven’t had the time to wash yet.
Queen sized bed with rumpled linen sheets and a floral duvet.
“I should warn you that when Jamie wakes up he’ll probably come running in here like a tiny tornado.
” I laugh, breathless as I turn to face him, stopping short, colliding with his hard chest. He smiles down at me, eyes soft as his hands bracket my hips, fingers slipping just under the edge of my shirt. So gentle. So warm.
“I don’t mind.” He shakes his head, eyes studying me in the soft lamplight. His fingers flex against my waist, as my hands flatten over his broad chest. The silence envelops us. I glance at the digital clock on my nightstand—12:17 a.m.