18. Silas
CHAPTER 18
Silas
M y girl is fucking happy, I can hear it in her voice every time we talk. The pictures are splashed across the rags show her smiling brightly and looking more beautiful than ever. As much as I’d like to think I’m the reason for her happiness, I know that I’m not, but fuck if I'm not glad that she’s feeling this way.
We’ve been having phone sex a hell of a lot. It’s a shitty thing to think that I’ve gotten myself off more since Payton and I have been back together than I’ve gotten off inside of her. But if this is the only way that I can be with my girl, then so be it. I’ll jerk off until the day I die, as long as she’s watching. My girl is filthy, she loves when I talk dirty to her, the moans she releases as I describe what I’d love to do to her is something else. It’s a quick-fire way to ensure that I’m coming long before I fucking should.
I love seeing my ring on her finger. I know that it’s not an engagement ring, but it may as well be. The love I have for her isn’t going to change. I’m going to marry her, I knew it at seventeen, and I know it now. Payton is my forever.
“Morning,” Cas says, coming into the kitchen. Things between him and Saya are rocky to say the least. She’s barely answering his texts, and she won’t answer his calls. It’s fucking with his head. It reminds me of when things went to shit between Payton and I. He needs to nip it in the bud now before he loses her for years, just as I did with Pay.
“You good?” I ask, the dark shadows under his eyes tells me he’s far fucking from it.
“Nope,” he mutters. “She’s not talking to me, and I’m not sure why. It’s driving me insane.”
“Push her.” It’s the only advice I have, “You want her, and you know damn well that she loves you. Push her to find out why the hell she’s doing this.”
He sighs, scrubbing his hand at the back of his neck. “I will, I’m not letting her go.”
I smile, he’s making me look like a fucking failure. I should have done what he’s doing now, not giving up.
“Have you any idea what could make her act this way?” I’m as confused as he is about this entire situation. Cas has told me everything about his and Saya’s relationship, even more than I needed to know.
He sighs, “I have no fucking idea, that’s what’s making it worse. If I knew her reasoning, I’d be able to alleviate whatever fucking fears she has, but I don’t. I’m walking blind right now.”
I feel for him, if I were in his predicament I’d be tearing my hair out. How the hell is he staying as calm as he is? I ended up fucking every woman that I came in contact just to try and get Payton out of my mind. I fucked up more than anyone. I shouldn't have acted like an asshole, instead I should have done everything in my power to get her back. I should never have let her go for as long as I did.
“Keep pushing her.” It’s the only thing I can say, “Don’t give up.”
He nods, “I don’t intend on giving up. I know she’s my forever girl, and I’m not losing her.”
My cell rings, and he glances down at the screen. A smirk forms on his face. “Speaking of forever girls, there’s yours.” He snatches my keys off the counter with a grin. “I’m taking the bike.”
I shake my head, he’s more obsessed with my bike than I am. I fucking love my Ducati, it’s the bike that I’ve always wanted. My girl knows me well, only problem, fucking Cas and I are similar, and the asshole’s been taking it out for spins to clear his head.
“Hey, baby,” I say as I answer the phone.
“Hey you.” I can hear the smile in her voice, “What are your plans for the day?”
This is our morning ritual. We talk for a while before we go about our day, she tells me that she likes to start her day hearing my voice. Like I’m going to deny her that. Fuck, I doubt I could deny her anything.
“Got training this morning, then I’m going to the children’s hospital.” I hear her sigh, and I know that she’s worried about me and about the kids. I’ve told her a bit about the children and how hard it is when they lose their fight.
I’ve learned a hell of a lot about her over the past few weeks. My girl is tender hearted, I knew it from the get go, I just didn’t know how tender hearted she could be. I told her about the kids that I see at the hospital, and Payton loses her mind. She wanted to know about the parents and if they’re being looked after. What does she do? She pays their rent for the next few months, she has dinners brought to them each night. It’s done anonymously, no one is to know. Bianca, Jerald, me and Payton are the only ones that are privileged with that information. I’m pretty sure that Bianca’s in on her little plan too.
No one from the hospital has any idea, nor do my teammates. I’m sure that the families believe it’s the team doing it and Payton wants me to ensure that it’s kept that way.
“What about you, baby?” I ask quickly, changing the subject before she starts to cry. Hearing her tears claws at my gut, especially when I can’t be there to hold her.
“I’m going to be lying on the beach in a bikini getting my photo taken.” She sighs dramatically, making it sound like it’s the hardest job in the world. It’s tough, she’s on set for over ten hours a day, but I know that she loves her job, and she’s not actually complaining.
“That’s good, baby, did you talk to Ty?” Her brother was having problems, but since Christmas he seems to have settled down.
“Yes, he’s good. His grades are improving. We actually talk almost every day. I spoke to Dahlia, and she told me that it’s like having the old Ty back.”
I smile, “You got through to him.”
“Yeah, I’m just mad that it took me so long to realize what was going on.”
She’s so hard on herself, that she believes that she should be the one to fix everyone’s problems. She’ll run herself to the ground.
“Baby, we’ve talked about this. You’re doing the best you can, and you’ve shown all of them that you’re there for them whenever they need you.” Not to mention all the money she’s squirreled away from them all. She’s got some hefty trust funds set up for them. She told me that she wanted them set up before she thought about buying a house and setting up a home for herself.
What she doesn’t know is wherever she sets up home, I’ll be right there with her. While I love playing for the Seattle Silverbacks, my heart has and always will belong with Payton. Where she is, I’ll be.
“I know, I know.” I can hear the smile back in her voice. “You had better get a move on, otherwise you’ll be late.”
I glance at the clock on the wall and see she’s right, I’ve got thirty minutes to get ready before I have to leave. “Speak to you later.” I don’t ask it as a question, since that night in the club we talk every morning and every night.
“Count on it. Love you, Si.”
Fuck, they’re the best words to hear.
“Love you too, baby.” I end the call and think thank fuck there’s only eight weeks left until I see her again. I can hold out that long.