CHAPTER 7 #2
“It broke something in me,” he admitted, “… and now that brokenness has gotten you into this mess.”
“You didn’t do it alone,” she said softly. “I made choices too.”
Pastor Steve cleared his throat, gently bringing the moment back. “She’s right. The question now is—where do you want to go from here? What do you want, Bryce?”
Bryce didn’t hesitate. His eyes never left Beth.
“I want to make this marriage real. I know I’ve got baggage, and my faith is still being rebuilt—but I believe our vows matter.
God wasn’t drunk when we said them. Waking up married was the kick in the pants I needed.
It might seem fast to you, like I’m suddenly all in with God—but I’ve always been an all-or-nothing kind of guy.
This isn’t a new faith. It’s me coming back to the truth I’ve always known.
I just didn’t want to live it when things got too hard. Now I do.”
Pastor Steve nodded slowly. “Not really that fast, when you consider where you were before you walked away. You were deep in the trenches of living your life for the Lord until you hit what looked like a breaking point. It may have broken your desire to serve Him—but it didn’t break the foundation your faith was built on. ”
Three sets of eyes turned toward Beth, making her squirm.
She couldn’t meet their gaze.
Just as gently as he had asked Bryce, Pastor Steve turned to her. “Beth, what about you? What do you want?”
Her voice came out quieter than she expected. “I don’t know.” She twisted her hands in her lap. “I’m not saying I never want marriage… I just don’t think I’m ready for it right now.”
Pastor Steve nodded with calm understanding. “That’s okay. Are there questions you still need answered? Or something that would help you settle what you’re feeling?”
Beth paused, “I want to talk to Tami. Just her. Alone.”
Her nerves made the words sharper than she intended. She regretted it the moment they left her mouth. Bryce had just laid his soul bare, and her first instinct was still to run.
But it was too late to take it back.
The men nodded and stood. Bryce paused behind her, then
gently squeezed her shoulder—offering silent reassurance that it was okay.
Once they were gone, Beth sank onto the couch beside Tami and leaned her head against the older woman’s shoulder.
“I can’t believe I just asked him to leave after everything he shared.”
Tami stroked her hair gently. “I think you’re still in shock. Move past that. Tell me what hurts.”
Beth let out a shaky breath. “All of it. I feel like I can’t breathe after what he told us.
I’m angry at two people I’ve never met—and who aren’t even alive anymore.
I’ve never understood how someone could walk away from their faith…
but after that?” She waved her hands, helpless.
“I get it. I still don’t agree—but I get it. ”
After sitting quietly for a few moments, Tami gently redirected.
“In light of why you came today… if you had to name just one thing that makes this feel bigger than you can handle, what would it be?”
Beth hesitated.
“Too hard to pick just one?”
She shook her head. “No, but it feels embarrassing. And shallow.”
“Dear girl, just share what’s on your heart,” Tami said, her voice soft and familiar—so much like Grandma Jean’s.
“I saved myself for marriage. I wanted to remember it—to treasure it and now... it’s gone. I don’t remember a thing.”
“Maybe you didn’t consummate the—”
“We did. I’m sore. There was proof, not to mention how I feel broken, like I gave something away without meaning to. And worse… I chose it. I chose to drink. My sister gets drunk all the time and she’s never woken up married. Why me?”
Tami let her speak, then gently asked, “What are you more upset about—that you didn’t get to experience your first time, or that God wasn’t honored in it?”
Beth stilled. “The first one… is easier to think about. If I focus on what I lost, I can avoid facing what I did. I made a choice. I turned away from what I knew was right.”
“Have you asked for forgiveness?”
Beth nodded.
“Do you believe He forgave you?”
Another nod.
“Then stop holding it over yourself. His grace covers every sin.”
Beth looked up, her voice soft and searching. “How do I move forward from this?”
“Maybe this wasn’t about you, but about your husband.
It’s clear as day—what man intended for evil, God has used for good.
He used this situation to bring one of His lost sheep back into the fold.
If you hadn’t married Bryce… if he’d married someone else, would it have changed him the same way?
We may never know. But we do know something beautiful has already come from this. ”
Beth exhaled. “I don’t know if I would’ve thought of it like that. A part of me wanted to stay married—but for selfish reasons. To save face.”
“Dear girl, you don’t answer to the world. You answer to God. Staying married won’t erase your sin—but leaving won’t, either. Don’t let pride or fear make this decision for you.”
Beth nodded slowly.
Tami smiled. “You don’t have to decide right this second. But don’t let time become an excuse for fear. Let today show you who Bryce really is.”
Beth smiled—just a little. “Thank you. For always knowing exactly what to say.”
“Ha! I don’t always know what to say, Elizabeth girl. Now go on—round up that husband of yours and enjoy lunch.”
Tami kissed her cheek, and together they walked toward the foyer, where their husbands were waiting.
Pastor Steve gathered them one last time, offering a quiet prayer over their next steps, their marriage, and the story still unfolding.
Beth didn’t have it all figured out. There were still a hundred unanswered questions swirling in her mind.
But as she looked up and saw Bryce’s head bowed beside her in prayer, one thing had settled in her spirit.
She wanted this marriage.
Not to cover up a mistake. Not to save face. Not because it was the easiest option.
She wanted it because she believed God could redeem even this—and maybe even use it for His glory.
Beth wanted to be brave enough to discover how He would do that.