CHAPTER 31
Snuggled safe in his arms, marveling at her newfound boldness, Beth rested a hand on her abdomen, wondering if mama-bear instincts could kick in this soon. The thought made her chest tighten in a way that wasn’t entirely unpleasant.
Remembering how she left the hospital, she tugged gently on the sleeve of Bryce’s button-down shirt.
“Congratulations, you’re going to be a dad.
Sorry I walked off like that. I thought I was good in emergency situations, but since I married you, I’m realizing I’m only calm in emergency medical situations.
” She gave a soft, self-deprecating shrug and looked up at him.
“It wasn’t until I was in the shower that I realized I’d just walked off without saying anything. ”
“Thanks,” Bryce said softly. He brushed a kiss against her lips, still getting used to the freedom of doing that whenever he wanted.
“I’m pretty excited. But when you got home, it was clear you were in shock.
” His mouth curved into a crooked grin. “I meant what I said at the stairs. If you want to even the score, I’d be happy to strip for you. ”
Beth gave him a dry look, but her lips twitched. “I’ll keep that in mind for the future. But right now, I think maybe we should finish the conversation we started the night I moved in—ya know, before Brock gets back.”
Her words sounded more like a question than a statement, her eyes searching his.
He nodded.
Unfolding from beneath her, Bryce moved to the kitchen, poured a mug of coffee—brewed while she was in the shower—and brought it over. Instead of sitting beside her, he perched on the edge of the coffee table to stay close without crowding her.
“You might need this,” he said gently, offering her the mug.
“Thanks.” She curled into her usual spot and accepted it, her fingers trembling slightly as she took a sip.
Bryce exhaled. “I’ve been praying and trying to figure out how to tell you about my past. There’s no easy way to say it—or hear it. I know it might change how you think of me, but I hope it doesn’t change how you feel. I really hope it doesn’t make you regret telling me you love me.”
Beth gave a small nod, listening.
“After Abby, when I turned away from the Lord, I was crushed in ways I didn’t know were possible.
I didn’t want to give anyone that kind of power again.
So, I made my own rules. Everything was on my terms—no strings, no expectations.
If a woman thought she could change that, it wasn’t because of anything I promised. ”
“Like Crystal?”
“Like Crystal,” he said quietly.
Beth took a breath. “What exactly were your terms?”
“A good time. If the chemistry was there, sex. No strings.”
Her stomach twisted. “Have you slept with every girl you’ve dated?”
“No. But most of them.”
Her voice wavered. “How many are we talking about?”
“From work?” he asked.
Beth nodded—then blinked, realizing the distinction. “Wait. If you’re only telling me the number from work, does that mean the total number is higher?”
Bryce nodded solemnly.
“What… what’s your total number?”
“Twenty. Maybe twenty-five.”
“You don’t know?” she asked, stunned.
“I wasn’t keeping count. It wasn’t about that.”
She shook her head slowly. “I think it’s more shocking that you don’t know the names than the number.”
“I do. All but a few... the times I was drunk. If you want an exact number, I could figure it out.”
“I don’t think I want to know.”
He nodded again.
“And from work?”
“Maybe half.”
Beth took a long sip of coffee. Bryce had been right—she did need it for this conversation.
“Anything you want to know, I’ll answer.”
She pressed her hand to her lips, her voice muffled when she spoke. “I don’t want to hear this... but part of me does. Just to know which coworkers have seen you naked.”
Shame flickered across Bryce’s face. He looked away. “The list of women who’ve seen me naked is longer than the list I’ve been with. I’ve streaked at college and work events. Done a couple charity stripteases.”
“What?”
He winced. “I’m sorry, Lizzy.”
She stood and crossed to the window, staring out. Her chest ached. She’d known he had a reputation—but not like this. Her idea of ‘wild’ had been drunken flirting. Her sheltered heart hadn’t imagined anything close to this.
Bryce didn’t move. He wanted to hold her. Comfort her. But he knew that would be more for him than for her. So instead, he prayed. For her heart. For strength. For grace.
Beth stepped outside onto the patio. The air was cool against her skin.
She wrapped her arms around herself and whispered, “Lord, I need You here. I know You’ve forgiven him.
I know all sin is the same in Your eyes.
But right now... I’m angry. I want to run.
I want to hurt him back. Help me forgive him. ”
She closed her eyes as the words from Psalm 25 flitted through her mind. The words steadied her. After a long moment, she turned and stepped back inside.
Bryce was sitting at the island, notebook open.
“For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry that I treated a gift that should have been yours alone so lightly.” His eyes shimmered.
Beth nodded.
Beth’s voice was quiet. “I wanted to be my husband’s only one.” She rubbed her eyes. “I knew I wasn’t. I thought I could handle it. But I had no idea what being a ‘playboy’ actually meant.” A humorless chuckle slipped out. “Lynn’s right. I am na?ve.”
Bryce’s throat tightened. He didn’t try to defend himself—instead, he leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees, his gaze fixed on the floor.
“I get it,” he said, his voice low. “I hate that you’re hurting because of choices I made long before I ever imagined you in my life. I spent years living like I had nothing to lose. But then I met you… and suddenly, I wished I could go back and undo all of it.”
He looked up, meeting her eyes.
“I can’t rewrite my past, Lizzy. You may not be my first in the way the world counts it… but you’re my first when it comes to doing it God’s way. Holy. Sacredly. Blessed.”
He swallowed, his voice thick. “It was never about love before. It was never about forever. But with you—it is, and I thank God for that.”
Beth blinked. She hadn’t expected that—not the quiet conviction in his voice, not the weight behind his words. Somehow, it cut through the ache in her chest and began to answer the prayer she’d whispered on the patio.
At a loss for words, she nodded toward the notebook.
“You wrote down the names?”
He nodded slowly and pushed it toward her. “Stars mean they’re no longer at Penrose. There are twenty-four.”
She skimmed the list—and froze. “Donna? The sixty-something nurse from labor and delivery?”
Bryce winced. “We were drunk. Christmas party.”
“Before or after you streaked?”
“Different party.”
“Do you get drunk a lot?”
“Not often. Maybe twice a month. Mostly holidays.”
Beth nodded slowly. “Christmas is about Jesus. And family. Two things you’d turned your back on.”
“I didn’t expect you to understand.”
“No, but I do. My sister? Ring a bell? I’ve watched the wild lifestyle. And Bryce... twice a month is a lot.”
Her eyes dropped to the last name on the list.
Elizabeth – the only one that matters.
Tears stung again.
“Why didn’t you ever ask me out?”
Bryce blinked. “What?”
“All the nurses warned me about you. Said you were a player. A flirt who would try to ‘wine and dine’ me. But not once did you ever ask me out. You never even tried. Why?” Her voice was quieter now, laced with something more vulnerable.
“Was it because I wasn’t your type?”
“No, it’s not that.”
“But you said earlier... I wasn’t your type.”
She wasn’t trying to trap him. She genuinely wanted to understand—but the words had lodged somewhere deep, somewhere tender, and they stung more than she expected.
He stepped closer, his voice low and sincere.
“Lizzy, not being my type was a compliment. From the very beginning, I saw something in you I hadn’t seen in anyone else. You were strong. Steady. You had a faith that was real. I was... the opposite of all of that.”
She looked down, arms folded tightly across her flat chest. “So, you didn’t date Christians.”
“Not ones like you,” he admitted. “Some of them said they were—but they were chasing me, not the other way around. A few even lost their virginity to me.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“I’m not proud of that, but I never tried to be the reason someone walked away from their faith. If that makes sense.”
Beth finally looked up at him, confusion still flickering in her eyes.
“So... to avoid corrupting me you ignored me?”
“I respected you too much to pull you into my mess,” he said softly. “I told myself I was protecting you—but the truth is, I was protecting myself. I knew I’d fall for you if I let myself get close. I couldn’t risk bringing being the reason you walked away from God.”
“And now?”
He smiled faintly, eyes full of something unshakable. “Now I thank God every day that He gave me a chance to love you the right way.”
He cupped her face. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
She blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice.
“Your eyes. That little nose. Your mouth. And your legs…” A low, appreciative rumble escaped his throat.
“My legs?”
Bryce grinned. “You in my sweats is the most distracting thing I’ve ever seen.”
Beth’s laugh was shaky, but real.
“I find every part of your body beautiful,” he whispered. “But it’s your heart that undid me. Your grace and your strength. Now that I’m praying again, I thank God every day for putting you in my path—even if I didn’t deserve you.”
Silence stretched between them, comfortable and heavy all at once.
“Should we have had this conversation before sending the invitations?” he asked.
“No,” She exhaled. “It’s a lot. But what part of our relationship hasn’t been?”
Bryce offered a wry smile, reaching up to tuck a damp strand of hair behind her ear.
“Anything else?” he asked gently.
She hesitated. “This might sound wrong, but... what hurts most is knowing I’m a part of that history now. Only—I don’t get the memories. I don’t remember our wedding night. I don’t remember making our baby. Just the aftermath of losing my virtue... and the consequences.”
The elevator hummed in the background. Beth turned to go, but Bryce caught her hand and slowly pulled her back.
“Please look at me.”
She did.
“You didn’t lose your virtue,” he said softly. “Even drunk, you held to your convictions. That’s strength most people never have.”
Then he kissed the scar at her temple, his lips lingering.
“We can’t change the past. But soon—on our real wedding night—I get to give you a memory you’ll never forget. That night, and every night after... if you’ll let me. And next time we make a baby, Lizzy?”
He smiled softly, voice warm and sure.
“You’ll remember every second.”
Brock stepped into the loft and came to a stop.
The sight that greeted him was something out of a movie—Beth and Bryce, forehead to forehead, eyes locked in a quiet, intimate exchange by the kitchen island.
“There wasn’t a tie, so I figured it was safe to come up,” Brock said, one brow lifted, amused. “Want me to leave again?”
“No.”
“YES!”
Their voices overlapped—Beth’s reluctant, Bryce’s firm.
Bryce searched Beth’s face, finding something new in her eyes. Something softer. Settled. With a final kiss to her lips, he turned to face his brother.
“Fine. Come in. The wife says you can stay.”
Brock grinned as he stepped fully into the loft, balancing two pizza boxes in one hand and a six-pack in the other. “I come bearing gifts,” he announced, like a surfer delivering salvation.
Bryce squinted at the bottles. “Is that beer?”
“Nope.” Brock turned the labels outward with a flourish. “Root beer. Because unlike you, I never got the appeal of drinking something that makes you act dumber and feel worse. Plus, it felt right—clean slate, fresh start, new marriage all that.”
Beth let out a surprised laugh—a small sound, but it wasn’t forced or brittle. It was enough to make Bryce glance at her, his shoulders loosening slightly. Brock noticed.
“And besides,” he added, softer now, his tone slipping into something warmer, more genuine, “it felt like a root beer kind of night. Safe, sweet, and still something worth sharing.”
He crossed the room and set the boxes on the counter, glancing between the two of them. “You guys okay?”
Beth nodded, her smile tentative but real. “Getting there.”
“Cool. I’m not here to pry—just here to bring food, vibe a little, and remind you both that whatever storm you’re in—it’ll pass. Just don’t forget to come up for air—and look up. He’s still steady, even when the swell feels huge.”
Brock slid a pizza box toward Beth and popped open a root beer, passing it her way.
“Here,” he said with a soft smile. “You look like you could use some carbs and kindness.”
Beth gave a tired laugh and took the bottle. “Thanks.”
He didn’t crowd her, just leaned against the counter beside her, his voice low and easy.
“Just remember—you don’t have to hold your breath through this. You’re not alone in the deep. God’s with you, even when the water’s murky… and when my brother’s being a complete idiot.”
Beth blinked, caught off guard by the gentle truth of his words and the silly little dig at his brother. “Thanks, Brock.”
He grinned and bumped her shoulder lightly. “Anytime.”
Behind her, Bryce shifted quiet but present. The faintest smile tugged at his lips as he watched the two of them, grateful for a brother who knew when to speak truth, and when to just hand someone a slice of pizza.