26. Penelope
twenty-six
penelope
“Okay, I knew Aaron had a big family, but I didn’t realize he was inviting everyone he knew to this thing,” Juliet gapes, stealing the words right out of my mouth.
Aaron and Lucy’s joint bachelor/bachelorette party snuck up on us—and thank God for it. I’ve been spending all of my free time helping Lucy with the odds and ends. Yes, I know I’m supposed to be writing. Yes, I know that avoiding it is only going to make my daily word counts higher. But that’s a Future Penelope problem.
The gang has been at Lucy and Aaron’s place all day setting up, and Claire and I just ran out to pick up the pizzas and change into our costumes. By the time we got back, the place was filled to the brim with people.
A lot of Italian people, to be exact, but also almost everyone Aaron has ever come into contact with.
“I know,” Lucy sighs. “I wanted something intimate—just you guys and the groomsmen—but the groom gets what the groom wants, apparently.”
She just shrugs and takes a sip of some blue beverage that’s supposed to be Stitch-themed.
“And you’re okay with that?” I ask. Lucy came to us from a ten-year emotionally abusive marriage, where she had absolutely no say in anything. She’s quick to wave me off.
“Oh my gosh, yes. He is so happy. If it means having our house stuffed with all of his family and friends for a night, I’m okay with that. They’ll all be at the wedding too. And besides, he gave me the power to veto anything and everything I didn’t agree with. Why do you think we aren’t playing ‘Pin the Abs on the Disney Hunks?’”
“Okay, but that I could’ve gotten behind,” I say, lifting my drink into the air. Everyone laughs, and then we compare costumes.
The couple of honor is dressed as Flynn Rider and Rapunzel—the brunette version. Juliet and Sam are Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. Claire somehow conned Nathan into dressing as Ellie and Carl from Up , on the basis that he really didn’t have to add anything different to his daily attire besides suspenders.
“Who are you?” Claire asks.
“Meg from Hercules . I won’t say I’m in love, am I right?”
I wink, then take another sip of my beverage.
Truth be told, I’ve sold my soul to too many men over the years just like her. And, also, by the time I made it to the Excel spreadsheet, most of the other good characters were gone, and I had the parts to the cosplay outfit in my closet already. A long, lavender skirt with a slit that goes all the way up my thigh, a purple tank crop top, and a brown leather belt, and I could probably head to the bars afterward.
“I thought you’d go as Merida. You’ve got the hair for it,” Sam chuckles.
“She could have been Kim Possible too,” Aaron says, joining the circle, hugging his fiancé from behind.
“Jessie the Cowgirl. Oooo, this is a fun game!” Juliet exclaims.
“Forgive my wife,” Sam laughs, encircling her waist and tugging her into his side. “She hasn’t had a ton of alcohol since Hope was born.”
Nathan says nothing, joining our circle that’s now entirely too cramped, and taking possession of his woman. Which sidles me right into bare skin. When I take in his costume, I want to run right the fuck home.
“So, you gonna call me ‘Wonder Boy’ for the rest of the night?” he asks, smirking with a suggestive pump of his eyebrows.
Anthony is dressed as Hercules. Or, at least, that’s what he’s going for, with a sweatband around his forehead, wristbands on both arms, and a brown pair of gym shorts. No shirt. Nada up top but tan gym muscles that are slightly sheened with sweat.
Yeah, I’m definitely going home.
“How?” I ask, crossing my arms and taking a step back. “How did this happen?”
“Fate,” he preens, tilting his head skyward like he’s thanking Zeus himself for our costume blunder. “Actually, I forgot that this was a costume shindig and asked Aaron last minute what was still available and easy.”
“And you told him to dress up as the male counterpart to what I picked?”
I cross my arms and scowl across the circle at Aaron, who hides behind the Pascal stuffed animal on Lucy’s shoulder.
“I’ll get you back for this when it isn’t your wedding celebration, Russo. Mark my words.”
I edge out of the circle at the same time that it starts to break up. Lucy and Aaron rush to greet guests; Sam and Nathan head out to tend to the beer and rope Ant into helping; and Claire, Juliet, and I get a refill on our cocktails and catch up on school gossip.
“Sorry I kind of stole your co-teacher,” I say to Jules. Earlier this week, Nathan told me that he would be shuffling around some staff to make sure I’m not always left out to dry when Anthony gets pulled for administrative duties. However, it also stole Juliet’s co-teacher from her classroom two days a week.
She waves me off.
“He’s just a helping hand in my classroom anyway. He’s retiring at the end of the year. Maybe the change of scenery will do him some good. How have things been?”
“A little more stable,” I admit. “I guess he’s going to be with me two days a week, and then Ant will be in for two, with Fridays being a little more flexible. I’ll just plan them as e-Work days for now and see what happens. It’s definitely been helpful though.”
“You know that was all Ant’s doing, right?” Lucy returns with both a tray of snacks and news I didn’t want to know. “I was in the office when he stood up to Nathan for you. It was kind of hot.”
There’s a visual I don’t need—Ant standing up to our boss for me, following through on his promises with actions to back them up. Especially if Lucy’s describing it as hot . I still can’t get the image of him telling me he isn’t sorry for what happened in the shower out of my head—or out of the fantasies me and my vibrator have been enjoying this week. I thought living with him would be torture. I guess I just didn’t expect that torture to come in the flavor of staying away from him.
“Wait, why did Nathan even need convincing?” Claire asks. “He was going to leave you hanging? I’m going to have a talk with that man.”
“Leave him alone,” I chuckle. “It’s not his fault. He has been seriously dumped on this year, and with no real AP to help out, he got the worst of it. I’m grateful for the extra set of hands since he stole mine— and for the fact that I get Ant in my room two less days a week. Seeing him at home is more than enough.”
“I thought you said things were going okay?” Juliet asks.
“They are and they aren’t. Yes, he’s being less of an asshole, but he’s still there . In my space, in my every waking moment. It’s a temptation that I don’t need.”
My friends all eye me with a peculiar look, and I instantly regret using temptation as my reason to stay far, far away from Anthony Ellis.
“Temptation?” Lucy starts.
“I thought we were avoiding him at all costs?” Juliet says, lifting a brow. “He did you dirty, Pen.”
“Did he do her dirty, or did he do her dirty? ” Claire laughs into the lip of her drink. My eyes narrow.
“Babes, if he’s a temptation, maybe you need to reconsider your living situation. Sam and I have extra room.”
“Us too,” Lucy chimes in. Claire agrees, but for some reason, instead of taking any of them up on their offers, I slump. Just slightly enough that they can tell something is up.
“What if he apologized though? And what if I did too? And what if…”
Fuck . All of my friends are staring at me with wide-eyed intensity. I think the perfect storm of alcohol and shirtless Ant and my raging hormones after that shower have finally driven me mad.
“I need a shot.”
I dismiss myself from the conversation that I can’t continue to be a part of. Taking my aforementioned shot to hide with it in the bathroom, I stare down my reflection in serious contemplation.
Am I seriously thinking about fixing things with Ant? Giving us another shot?
Who am I kidding? Our first one barely got off the ground.
But now, alone with too many swirling thoughts, I think about all of the times I put up the roadblocks by myself. Every time we’ve crossed paths since, I’ve refused to let him in. Refused to hear him out. We can’t go more than a day without taking one step forward and ten steps back. But how much of that is my fault? And how easy would the road before us be if I actually lifted the barriers and let us try?
I sigh, throwing back the blue colored drink before heading back to the party. My mini-Ant spiral sapped me. Suddenly, all I want is somewhere to put my feet up.
Except there aren’t any open seats anywhere. Apparently, Aaron didn’t bank on needing chairs for every single guest of his or something. Whatever the reason, I find myself lingering toward the back corner of the living room, away from people, upon my return. Leaning against the wall, I scan the room for somewhere to put my butt other than the floor.
“Looking for someone?”
I jump.
“Why do you keep popping up when I least expect you to?”
I glance down at Anthony, who somehow snagged the comfy recliner, and I’m stunned.
He looks exhausted . The deep pockets around his eyes paired with the glassy sheen makes me wonder what he’s been doing all day.
“I… wish I had a better comeback for you. I’m just trying to hide. Looks like we found the same spot.”
I exhale, sliding down the wall until we’re at eye level.
“Long day or something?”
“Yeah. Or something…” He yawns hugely. “Was over at my new place with my dad and his crew finishing the flooring, then had to finish up a few odds and ends for my mom. I picked up the beer on the way here. No biggies, but my social battery is kind of in the negative right now.”
My chest tightens. He’s mentioned before how his ADHD can make him a project wizard. I just never realized how it might also sap everything in him. He installed flooring all day, and still came here for his friends?
“Did you guys get it finished?”
“What? The flooring? Yeah, it’s all good to go. Once it passes inspection, I’ll start working on the fun stuff.”
“ Just you?”
He nods with a grunt.
“I know how to do all that stuff myself. I get the supplies at a major discount, so doing it myself saves on labor. Plus, working with tools is a big stress relief.”
I nod, tracing the stress that crackles in little red lines in his eyes. He should go to bed, but I know he won’t leave his friends hanging.
“What about you? What are you hiding from?”
That’s a loaded question. I can’t tell him that I’m exhausted from trying to avoid him. Instead, I go with a half-truth.
“I still can’t figure out my book,” I shrug, then fall part-way down the rest of the wall. “I have a deadline coming. This—” I hold up my arm, now sporting a breathable brace instead of that heavy plaster, “was the last extension. They want a first draft by the end of November, and all I’ve got for them is a load of crap that sounds like bad FanFiction.”
I slump some more, and Ant reaches a hand over the arm of the chair.
“Come on, PJ. Don’t sulk from the floor.”
I’m too tired to fight anymore. And besides, the floor is hard. I let Anthony slide me into his lap, and try to ignore the way our bodies click into place when I do.