25. Porter
PORTER
Holy fucking shit! Did that really just happen?
Surely, I’m about to wake up from a dream. Is Will even at the lake house yet? Maybe I fell asleep waiting for him, and my mind came up with this fantasy.
But the longer I sit here staring at Will, naked and covered in his release, the more I believe this is real.
I’m coming down from my post-orgasm bliss, and I attempt to regain some control, forcing what I hope is a confident smile.
All that dirty talk was so fucking hot in the moment, but now I’m trying to cover up the fact that I’m kind of freaking the fuck out.
I still can’t believe any of that actually happened.
Leaving the dildo out was a complete accident.
I thought I’d clean it after Josie left and put it away well before Will got here.
I know better than to do something that could be interpreted as suggestive.
But he eagerly took it as some sort of… invitation?
Challenge? Whatever the word is, he was so insistent that he wanted to watch…
How the fuck was I supposed to refuse that? I’m only human. I can only resist the man I have a huge crush on so much before I inevitably give in.
He said that he was wrong about being straight.
That he’s been questioning his sexuality.
Could it be because of me? No, that’s ridiculous.
Maybe having a gay friend for the first time encouraged him to expand his thinking, but I’m not naive enough to believe that he’s so attracted to me specifically that it inspired a bi-awakening or whatever label he’ll land on.
If he even changes it at all. And that’s a really big if.
He didn’t answer when I asked about doing it again.
And that is an answer in itself. Especially because Will Carter doesn’t do repeats.
He’s made that crystal clear. Which is totally fine.
Probably for the best really. We didn’t even touch each other.
Odds are, he’ll forget all about this fun little gay experience he had on spring break in college.
Then he’ll go on living his life as if nothing ever happened.
And this time, I’ll be fine.
I’m stronger than I was three years ago. I learned from my mistakes, so I won’t let myself believe this is the start of something more between Will and me. If I pretend like this wasn’t a big deal, then it doesn’t need to be one.
I won’t do anything that could be misconstrued as asking for more.
Fuck, why do I keep finding myself in these situations in the first place?
I push myself up so that I’m sitting on the side of the bed, find my discarded underwear, and use it to wipe the cum off my stomach and hands.
“Oh, hey, let me grab you a towel or something,” Will hurries to offer as he stands.
His kindness doesn’t mean anything. Will is always overly helpful. He’s constantly trying to take care of his friends. I’m not special.
I attempt a casual laugh. “The dare is over. Don’t worry about it. I’m a big boy, I can clean myself up. Did you still want the first shower, though?”
His mouth opens then closes again like he’s trying to decide how to respond. Finally, he shakes his head. “No, go for it.”
“Thanks!” I put the lube back in my bag, grab the dildo to bring with me to clean, and walk out without a backward glance.
Because this was all casual.
I’m fine.