Chapter 30
30
MONDAY, 7 JULY, 2025 – HONG KONG
Moira
Moira had slept for eighteen hours straight, wiped out by the fall, the sleepless night in the hospital afterwards, the remnants of her jet lag, and the sheer emotional toll of seeing Nate again yesterday and reliving the end of the most bittersweet young love she’d ever known.
Now, showered and dressed, it was just after 6p.m. on their last night in Hong Kong, and she was finally feeling fully recovered from her tumble. The pain she was now experiencing wasn’t physical, it was her heart being ripped out as she sat in the lounge area of her suite with Stevie, Carina and Ollie, listening to Stevie share the information that Nate had told her the night before, a story about Lisa.
‘Oh no. She lost the baby?’ Moira wept, devastated for the pain that Lisa must have felt. So many things made sense now that they knew Lisa had been pregnant. The way she’d changed in their last month together. She’d been happy. Calm. She’d shunned all her vices and decided to go home, to give up her whole world for a child that would never be born.
‘She did,’ Stevie whispered, leaving them all silent, grief-stricken.
Eventually, Moira used her sleeve to dry her face. ‘I just wish she’d told us she was pregnant in the first place. I would never have left her. Or I’d have taken her home with me. My mother would have welcomed her with open arms and we could have taken care of her when the worst happened.’
Carina was on the same tear-stained page of regret. ‘And there was me, so giddy and excited about getting married, that I didn’t even think to sit her down and delve into what was going on in her life.’
‘Going by what Nate was saying last night, she was planning to write to you both and tell you she was pregnant after she got home to Ireland,’ Stevie consoled them. ‘He says he was the only person she ever told in Hong Kong and even then, he was shocked because it was so out of character for her to share something personal.’
Carina agreed with that. ‘It was. She kept everything so close to her chest, never shared her feelings no matter how many times we offered to listen.’
‘But then she lost the baby before she could tell you about it. Nate was with her when that happened. He said she was distraught, because she’d been so happy to be pregnant.’
Moira ached for the heartbreak Lisa had endured. And now Stevie, the poor lass, had more to share. ‘What he told me made something else make sense too. When I was going through Mum’s documents I found her marriage certificate. May 1991. My dad was a guy she’d known from school, and he’d lived next door to her when they were growing up. Now, knowing the timings of when she left here, she was only home for three months when she married him. I can imagine he was bowled over by her – this gorgeous creature, who’d come back after years away, must have seemed irresistible to him. I was born ten months later. All she ever told me was that they should never have got married because they didn’t really know each other, but now I think it was deeper than that. I think that maybe she was so desperate to recreate that feeling of having someone to love, that she rushed into it all. She got married because she wanted a baby. Someone to belong to, no matter what. And as soon as she had that, I think I became an obsession that my dad couldn’t match.’
Moira listened to every word she was saying, and knew Stevie was right, it all made so much sense. Lisa was a lost soul. Damaged. A bit broken. She didn’t share her life or her thoughts, so it wasn’t difficult to see how she’d made the choices that she had. In that first couple of years after she’d come home, Moira had sent a few cards to the address Lisa had given her but received nothing back. She’d been about to give up, when she’d received the Christmas card, saying she’d married and had a baby. After that, even when they’d exchanged cards at birthdays and Christmas, there had never been an offer to meet. In fact, on the couple of occasions Moira had suggested it, Lisa had always had a reason why she couldn’t do it. Work. Lack of time off. A backache. A broken ankle. Moira had taken the hint and stopped asking until she’d given up cruising and returned to Glasgow earlier in the year. Thirty-four years of excuses and she’d just put it down to life getting in the way. Now she knew it was Lisa protecting her secrets. She’d told Stevie nothing of her past life, no mention of her singing career, or of the friends she’d made in Hong Kong, and she wanted to make sure that chapter of alcohol, partying and the pain of losing a child stayed in the past too.
‘I’m so sorry, Stevie. This is all a heavy load for you to bear, pet.’
Stevie reached for the coffee pot in the centre of the table and topped up her mug. ‘In some ways. But in other ways, there’s something really comforting in knowing the full story. The fact that her mother overdosed, and that my mum had issues with alcohol… I get now why she was so over-protective, always so strict and suffocating. I think it just all came from a place of fear that I’d follow their paths. But she could never really break down the barriers of self-protection because of everything she’d been through, so that made her seem cold. All those years she was so scared of losing me that she inadvertently pushed me away. And yet, now I feel closer to her, and understand her more than I ever did.’
Moira dabbed her face with her sleeve again, wondering if there had been a single day this week that she hadn’t lost her mascara by nightfall. ‘I’m just grateful that you found the letter when you did. Painful as it is, I’m so glad you know her story now. And selfishly, I can’t bear to think about never meeting you.’
‘Me too. I know I sprung a whole lot of heartache on you, but I’ll never be able to thank you enough for letting me stick around. Is it crazy that in a weird way, it feels like Mum engineered this because she knew I needed it? It’s as if she couldn’t share who she really was when she was alive, but she wanted me to know her after she was gone.’
Stevie’s positive attitude broke the sadness and lifted the mood, and Moira saw that Carina was nodding at that suggestion. ‘I’m going to believe that she engineered it because we all needed it,’ her posh friend said. ‘I don’t know what I’d have done without you both this week. I can’t even begin to explain how grateful I am. And to you too, Ollie. It’s been an absolute joy to meet you. You’re one of the gang now. God help you.’
If there was anything that warmed Moira’s heart more than someone she loved saying how lovely her son was, she couldn’t name it. Although, she didn’t want him getting too big for his boots, so she gave him a nudge. ‘Aye, he’s not bad. A bit too flash for my liking sometimes though.’
‘I’ll work on that, Ma,’ he assured her, feigning repentance.
‘I hope so, son. Talking about flash, what time is Spencer coming, Carina?’
Moira had thought when Carina came in that she looked shattered. She’d told them about the conversation with Spencer and that she had to decide whether to go back to him or to leave him. Moira knew what her own choice would be, but she kept that to herself. This had to be Carina’s decision, so she didn’t want to say that she’d have had his clothes in bin bags in the garden within an hour of catching him up to no good.
Her question evoked a deep sigh from Carina. ‘I told him I’d meet him downstairs in the lobby lounge at eight. There’s more chance of us keeping it civilised if we’re in public. I haven’t got the energy for recriminations or going over what happened. I just want to go forward. Move on. Whatever that looks like.’
Stevie asked the question they were all thinking. ‘Have you decided what you’re going to say to him yet? Are you going to go back to him?’
‘I really don’t know. I know that sounds ridiculous, but my head and my heart and my loyalties and my vows… they’re all saying different things. When I saw him yesterday, I was so angry, but I’m clearer now on what he wants. I’m just hoping that when I see him, I’ll feel what’s right for me too. I’m going to have to decide one way or another because I need to know where I’m going when I leave here tomorrow.’
‘You know you can always come back to Glasgow with me?’ Moira offered, thinking how wonderful that would be – but again, she didn’t want to influence Carina’s decision so she didn’t labour the point, just smiled when Carina squeezed her hand and said, ‘Thank you.’
Meanwhile, Ollie decided to get Moira back for the dig earlier by putting her on the spot.
‘What about you, Ma? Were you swept off your slippers by your old flame yesterday?’
If they’d been alone, Moira would have brushed off the question, but she could see Stevie and Carina were waiting for her answer too. She didn’t know where to start. Seeing Nate had brought up a million feelings that had been strangers to her for a long time: attraction, longing, emotional intimacy and a warm familiarity that was still undeniable, even after all these years. After he’d left, she’d wrestled with the question of changing her mind and staying in Hong Kong for a bit longer. But every time, her answer was the same. No. She’d just put down her roots again in Glasgow, with a new home and a job that she felt passionate about. She was back with her son and they were creating something that would make a real difference to the kids in those communities. She didn’t want to give that up for anyone. Not even Nate. And not thirty-five years too late.
She filled them in on the gist of everything that was said, closing with, ‘So it was wonderful to see him, but I know I did the right thing.’
‘Are you sure, Ma? I’ll understand if you want to take a break from the academy and stay here for a while.’
‘Thank you, son, but I’m sure. I was on the cruises for sixteen years, and all I want to do now is stay in one place with the people I love. Besides, if I don’t go home, Jacinta will be over here with a documentary team dragging me back.’
Before Ollie could agree, there was a ping on his phone. ‘That’s the bar downstairs reminding us we have a table booked at 7p.m. Do we still want to go down?’ He turned to Stevie. ‘Would you rather give it a miss? You’ve had a pretty heavy day.’
Moira couldn’t help but notice that they’d struck up quite a rapport. It was nice to see.
Stevie didn’t even need time to think about his question, though. ‘No, I think we need to celebrate our last night. This time tomorrow I’ll be heading back to Galway to clear out my mum’s house, and we’ll all have gone our separate ways. So tonight, let’s have drinks, have dinner, and make the most of it. Is that okay with you, Carina?’
‘It certainly is. I could do with a gin and tonic before Spencer arrives. Moira?’
‘Oh, I’m in. If I ever say no to a karaoke bar, you’ll know I definitely do have concussion.’
They didn’t waste any more time. Ten minutes later, they walked into the bar, past the photos of their younger selves on the wall, and they were greeted by the same barman they’d spoken to earlier in the week.
‘Welcome! Your table is right there,’ he said, pointing to the one directly behind them. ‘And I’m so glad that you came back, because we found a surprise for you.’
‘Oh really? What’s that then?’
Ollie had pulled out her chair, and Moira was just taking her seat when the barman answered her question by picking up a remote control, and pressing a button that made the TV screen above him come to life.
It wasn’t the promo video that they’d asked about a few nights before. It was even better than that. There, in glorious technicolour was a recording of their show on Christmas Eve, 1990.
There was Moira.
There was Carina.
There was Lisa.
And they were all having the time of their lives.