56. Zara
ZARA
I stand in the ultra-tacky, straight-out-of- Criminal - Minds motel room and rock Peony in my arms. She fell asleep a few minutes ago, clearly worn out from her endless tears. I don’t dare put her down on the bed, afraid if I do, someone will pop out of nowhere and snatch her away.
We’re alone in the room, but that doesn’t ease the quivering fear in my belly.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I murmur against Peony’s temple, hot tears clogging my throat. “We’ll be okay.”
My body is captured in its own hell, every joint feeling like someone’s taken a sledgehammer to it. My feet are sore. The small cuts from walking outside barefoot are a constant reminder that I’m without shoes. And my brain…my brain is foggy, my thoughts rolling in slow and distorted.
There’s no phone I can use to call the local police or my family. That much I can figure out through the fog.
I don’t know where we are, other than somewhere in Colorado or Kansas or Oklahoma. The two men who abducted us took turns driving, after they pushed my car into a ravine.
We stopped a handful of times so they could grab food, get gas, or go to the washroom. Those were the times when I could change Peony’s diapers, the conditions to do that often less than ideal.
Each time we stopped, they popped baseball caps on Peony’s and my heads and big sunglasses on our faces. And I was reminded what the cost would be if Peony and I tried to escape or drew attention to ourselves.
Somehow, I kept her from having meltdowns at the worst possible times. But maybe that didn’t matter. Maybe a toddler having a meltdown would have caused people to look away, disgusted I couldn’t control my child. Disgusted I walked around without shoes.
We’d finally pulled into a motel thirty minutes ago, after we’d been driving for over twenty hours or twenty years. The early afternoon sun is hiding behind clouds, a thin strip of light peeking between the curtains.
My eyes are blurry and exhaustion is dulling my senses. I’m surprised I’m still standing upright. I sway on my feet, rocking Peony, gritting my teeth against the hammering pain in my shoulders. “It’s gonna be okay,” I whisper. “Auntie Zara will figure out a way to escape from these mean men.”
Memories of Emily lying unconscious on Garrett’s driveway destroy the dam holding back my tears. Someone must have heard the gunshot and called the police. Maybe someone spotted us. Maybe we’ll be rescued.
Maybe the police will link our disappearance to Athena.
What if she has no clue who these men are? Has no clue what they want? Doesn’t know where they’re taking us?
But she must know. That would explain why she prefers being a shadow, why she hasn’t attempted to get to know anyone in Maple Ridge.
She didn’t want to be noticed.
She didn’t want to be found.
I move closer to the window and peer between the curtains. The motel parking lot is empty, other than the cursed black SUV. No guests out there I can signal to for help. No one to call the cops. No sign of life other than the man who shot Emily.
Beyond that is a road and open fields of nothingness. No place to run to. No place to hide. Not a single vehicle drives past the run-down motel. We’re at least five miles from the gas station. Five miles from Burger Barn, where one of the men picked up food.
With each passing second, hope of being rescued is dragged into the pit of despair, weighed down by my sinking stomach.
Anger flickers and burns inside me, fueled by the helplessness that trembles through my veins. I move away from the window, the intense ache in my arms and shoulders causing them to shake. I’ll drop Peony if I don’t put her down soon.
But once I do that, I can look for paper and a pen and hide a note in the bed. Maybe whoever cleans the room will find the message and pass it on to the police.
I lower Peony onto the mattress. She whimpers, and her eyes flutter open.
I climb onto the bed, the mattress dipping under my weight, and lie next to her. I hold her close, giving her the illusion she’s safe. She doesn’t have Poppy for comfort. She left her panda on the floor while we were searching for Daisy and forgot about her until after it was too late to get her.
“Go back to sleep, Princess Peony,” I whisper. “I’ll protect you from the scary dragons.”
Now we just need someone to protect us from those men.
Peony snuggles even closer to me and falls asleep again. I try to inch away from her, but she releases a small, distressed noise. I’ll have to wait until she’s fully asleep before I can look for paper and leave a message.
I close my eyes and imagine Garrett saving us like one of the protagonists from his books, or how he used to rescue people when he was a Marine.
Garrett. The man who I wish was the hero in my story. The man who never loved me like he loved Kenda.
Though with Peony’s life in danger, and mine too, I can’t bring myself to care about his friends-only feelings for me. I have bigger things to worry about, to fear.
Tears leak past my closed eyes and dampen the pillow. I just need a second to rest.
I jerk awake to the bright sunlight suddenly streaming through the window, and my heart jolts into a frantic pace, banging hard against my chest wall.
Peony stirs in my arms. The fog clouding my brain hasn’t faded since I closed my eyes. If anything, it’s denser. Unrelenting.
“Get up. Now.” The cruel voice pushes through the fog, reminding me I’m not in Garrett’s arms like I was in my dream. I’m back in my own hell. A hell with two evil men and a toddler I must protect.
Peony lets out a tired wail.
“Shut her up or I will.” The growl of his voice makes me think of an angry Rottweiler whose favorite chew toy has been stolen. His scowl is equally terrifying, the thick scar slicing through the corner of his eyebrow amping up the effect. He’s alone.
I sluggishly push to a sitting position, my body wanting to scream at the pain swallowing me whole.
Don’t fail Peony.
As much as I want to curl into a ball and die, I can’t. Peony needs me.
I still have no idea where we’re going, or why they kidnapped Peony and me when it’s Athena they were looking for. The few times I asked were met with icy silence.
The man tosses two candy bars onto the bed.
“Candy? Can’t you get us anything more…nutritious?” I’ve been careful with my diet because of the spondyloarthritis diagnosis, but the two men don’t give a damn about a healthy diet for us. Junk food is all they’ve given us so far.
“It’s this or nothing. Your choice.”
My choice is to be back in Maple Ridge, but I keep that to myself and pick up one of the Snickers.
I tear it open, break off a piece, and hand it to Peony.
She eyes it with reluctance but a beat later takes it from my hand.
I open the other Snickers and take a bite of it. I’m not hungry, the pain in my body overshadows my appetite. But Peony needs to eat or else she’ll grow cranky and get on the men’s nerves. Though I’m not sure a toddler hyped on sugar is much better than a cranky toddler.
She takes a nibble of her piece, then eats the rest. I break off another chunk and hand it to her.
“We’re leaving. Get your stuff. You can eat in the SUV.” He points to the closed door.
“Where are you taking us?” Maybe he’ll be more chatty this time.
“You’ll find out when we get there.” Okay. So, not chatty.
That doesn’t stop me from asking the other question he never answers. “You were looking for Athena, so why do you want us?”
I’ve come up with a bunch of possibilities, thanks to Garrett’s books. But I’d rather hear the truth. Even with the brain fog, my imagination is scary.
“You’re only here to watch after her while we’re on the road.” He points to Peony, his message clear. I’m expendable.
The trembling that’s kept my body prisoner intensifies. Even Peony can’t miss my body’s reaction to the news.
“But why do you want Peony?” Is Athena part of a child trafficking ring? She steals children and sells them to people who want to adopt a baby or young child? And…and for some reason she developed a conscience with Peony and decided to return her to her father?
My brain fog grows denser, preventing me from figuring out what all this has to do with Athena disliking me. Preventing me from figuring out if I’m on the right track.
Stay focused. For. Peony’s. Sake.
The man waits for me to quickly change Peony’s diaper, then has me gather up her things, and carry her out of the motel room. She clings to me like a koala to a tree, her body trembling as much as mine.
Frustration leaks out on a long sigh. Instead of searching for paper and a pen and writing a message, I fell asleep. No one will find my nonexistent SOS tucked under the bedding.
No one will know we’ve been here.
No one will know where to find us.