Chapter 28 #2
“I know it. I’ve known Austin for ten years and I had no idea he had it in him to be so disgustingly blissful before you came along.
You have a lot to do with him smiling so much.
I’d say almost everything, but Delfina contributes a lot too.
So don’t throw away what you have. Shit, Lilly, that guy was looking at you ten years ago like he wanted to take you home and lock you in his closet so he’d never lose you again. ”
She laughed, though it sounded more like a hiccup. “And you wonder why people think you’re a serial killer…”
“You know what I mean,” he replied angrily. “I know what love is — and Austin loves you so much that his life feels empty without you. I know how shitty that feeling is, so by God, if you have any feelings for him, save him. Please.”
He nodded firmly at her and then got to work with the other players.
Lilly couldn’t move or speak. She just stood there, Daisy’s hand on her shoulder, watching the hockey giants assemble the shelves in twenty minutes and then fill them with her art in another ten.
Okay, she’d have to rearrange everything because they had the aesthetic sense of a plastic bag, but that didn’t matter because all she could think about was that Austin had always wanted a family… and he had one.
The players didn’t know her well, but they were there for her because they loved Austin. They knew that making her happy would make him happy.
And if all his friends knew that they could help him by helping her…then they all had to believe he had feelings for her.
With that in mind, it was difficult for her not to think that he might have meant it when he said I love you.
The thought brought tears to her eyes because she understood why Austin found it so hard to believe her. She understood that two months ago, he’d been terrified of losing Delfina again. Shit, she probably would have gotten a lawyer too, if she were him.
She hated the thought of having broken his heart. She hated the thought of him being unhappy. She hated the thought of him being so miserable that the only guy who sometimes got up earlier than her slept until nine.
She hated the whole situation; she hated that she hadn’t tried harder to talk to him and she hated that she’d started crying anyway, even though ten people could see her and only Daisy really knew her.
But the tears streamed uncontrollably down her cheeks, and no matter how often she wiped them away, more came. She didn’t know how to stop because her heart was so heavy, and she needed…she needed…
“What the hell?” an angry voice boomed…a voice that always sent a shiver down her spine.
“Did you make her cry? Didn’t I tell you that you’d have a problem with me if you so much as look at her the wrong way?”
“Mom, don’t cry!” Del cried out, throwing her arms around her. “The shelves look great!”
Lilly hiccupped, stroked her daughter’s head affectionately, and looked up.
Austin was standing in front of her. He looked as tired as she felt, wearing jeans and a Just Swim t-shirt with a picture of Dory on it – Del had insisted weeks ago that he needed one too – his expression so worried it pierced her heart.
“Hey, Lilly,” he whispered, shaking his head. “Whatever they said, they’re jerks. Don’t listen to them…they…”
She kissed him.
With Del still between them, she pulled his head down to hers with her free hand and brushed her lips against his. Once, twice, three times…
Stunned, Austin pulled away and looked down at her. Then he murmured, shocked, “Okay, I take it back: Whatever they said, listen to them!”
She laughed and cried at the same time before pulling him closer again.
So many emotions were swirling inside her that she was afraid she would burst if she kept them to herself any longer.
So she slipped her hand into his hair and pulled him closer…
loving the way Austin gently ran his fingers over her arms to the back of her neck, softly, tenderly. As if she were something precious.
“Ugh…” Del whispered. “That’s a lot of kissing!”
“You said it,” Leon murmured loudly.
Lilly ignored her and leaned back slightly. “I’m sorry, Austin. I should have talked to you. I know you wouldn’t take Del from me. I was in a state of shock and furious…”
“No, I’m sorry,” he murmured, shaking his head and cupping her cheeks with his hands. “I wouldn’t have believed it if you said you forgot about the lawyer either. And fuck, Hazel found the emails. I know you weren’t lying…”
“You should have believed me even if you didn’t know, just because you know me and you know what kind of person I am!” she said vehemently, running her hand over his rough stubble.
“I know that. And Lilly, I would trust you with my career and my life! But…after everything that’s happened, it was so incredibly difficult for me to trust that someone would be honest.”
“I’m not Christine, Austin.”
“No, but that doesn’t change the fact that everything she did…was fucking messed up. I should have believed you anyway, and I did, even before I had proof, and shit, I imagined telling you I love you would be more romantic.”
“It’s okay, you can tell me a hundred more times in more romantic moments,” she whispered. “I love you too!”
Austin’s smile widened so broadly it could have bridged the Pacific Ocean to Hawaii. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s good because I plan to take away your fear of ever being alone again, Lilly,” he whispered. “Because you have me.”
“Hey, she has me!” Delfina announced, offended.
Lilly laughed and then cried even more when Austin grinned down at their daughter and whispered, “Would it be okay if I joined you? I know you’ve done a fantastic job looking after your mom, but would you mind if I helped out?”
Delfina beamed. “No,” she replied, throwing her arms around them both. “I’d love it.”
Yes. Lilly agreed with her daughter.
They were fine on their own. They didn’t need anyone, she knew that — but a little support wouldn’t hurt once Delfina hit puberty. And by God, she wanted Austin!
This time, forever.