One More Shot (Flights and Feelings)

Chapter One Eliott

I have one goal for tonight and one goal only: I, Eliott Rayne, am going to have an orgasm.

Sasha, my flatmate and best friend, cheers loudly. ‘That’s the spirit, girl!’ Some of the Prosecco in her glass spills over onto my sheets as she flops down onto my bed. ‘Positive vibes only.’

It feels like I need more than just positive vibes right now, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same. Because, despite having just turned twenty-seven, I’ve never managed to get there with a partner.

Not for lack of trying, mind you.

One-night stands, friends-with-benefits, men, women, both at the same time – I’ve tried just about every combin-ation possible and not a single one has resulted in the kind of happy little moans I can hear coming from Sasha’s bedroom every time her boyfriend, Wes, stays the night.

It’s exhausting.

I put the finishing touches on my make-up and step back from the mirror. Sasha has already downed her drink and has swiped mine off the bedside table to sip on. I ignore the blatant theft and turn to face her.

‘How do I look?’

She grins. ‘Fucking stunning.’

Sasha would stay that if I stumbled out of bed at 5am wearing last night’s make-up and a bin bag, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true right now.

Leather pants, corset top, my favourite walkable yet sexy heels – this is a tried and tested outfit.

Make no mistake about it – someone is coming home with me tonight.

‘So, what’s the plan?’ Sasha asks, swinging her long legs over to the side so I can drop down onto the bed with her. I snatch my glass away from her and she gives me a pretend pout before reaching for the bottle to refill her own glass.

‘No plan,’ I say in between sips. ‘Unless “ Find someone hot. Bring them back home. Have an orgasm ” counts as a plan?’

Sasha rolls her eyes. ‘Yes, that’s a given, obviously. But beyond that, what’re we looking for? Just because they’re hot doesn’t mean they know how to fuck, and since we can’t just ask them—’

I snort into my drink. ‘Oh yeah, that’d go down well. Excuse me, hot person, how would you rate your sexual prowess on a scale of one to ten? One being couldn’t find the clit if I beat you over the head with it and ten being—’

‘ Your sex game is so good; you’ll ruin me for everyone else for the rest of my life .’ She sighs happily, and a playful grin tugs at her brown lips. ‘I miss Wes.’

‘It’s been a week,’ I tell her dryly. ‘And you’re seeing him tonight.’

Wes is a DJ and has been on tour with an artist around the country for the last week. As much as I like him, it’s been nice not having to hear Sasha’s bed-frame rhythmically rocking against our shared wall every other night.

Don’t get me wrong. Wes is a great guy and I’m happy that Sasha’s found someone who can apparently pinpoint every single one of her many pleasure points in ninety seconds or less, but all it does is remind me that I’ve never had someone who knows and loves my body like that.

It’s not like I’ve never had an orgasm before. My very well-loved vibrator can always be counted on to get me where I need to go, but it always feels flat. Like I’m on the edge of something amazing but can’t quite reach it.

‘It’s been a long week,’ Sasha giggles. ‘Shirley has been working overtime.’

Shirley being the vibrator I bought her as a joke last year when Wes was overseas for two months.

‘But back to you and Mission: Get Eliott Laid.’

‘Getting laid isn’t the problem,’ I say, and God, do I wish it was. If that’s all it took, I wouldn’t be in this position right now – desperately trying to find someone to, as Sasha so helpfully put it, ruin me for everyone else . The trouble isn’t finding a willing partner to come back with me.

I’m starting to think that I’m broken, and that’s just not the kind of thing positive vibes can fix. At this point, I need a divine intervention.

‘You’re right,’ Sasha says, nodding seriously. ‘I’m changing the name to Mission: Big O.’ She gives me a mock salute and some more of her Prosecco spills onto my sheets. A jolt of irritation pulses through me, but I shove it away. ‘I’ll be the best wing woman you’ve ever had.’

Truth be told, Sasha’s the only wing woman I’ve ever had.

We met at university nearly ten years ago now – two lone black girls in the middle of England desperately trying to find a shop that sold products that worked with our hair types – and we’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since.

When I worked up the courage, about four years into our friendship, to tell her that I’d never had an orgasm with a partner before, Sasha didn’t laugh at me or judge me or run and whisper behind my back like I’d feared.

She immediately jumped into ‘ well, let’s fix that ’ mode and she’s been stuck like that ever since.

I think the day I do finally have an orgasm, Sasha might be happier than me.

My phone buzzes, and I glance at it. In the space of about five seconds, my screen lights up with a quick stream of notifications.

LEANNE

ELIOTT!!!!!

PLEASE HELP

EMERGENCY. 999.

ELZZZZZZZZZ

ELIOTT

What? What’s happened? Are you okay? Where are you?

No response.

Oh God.

I feel my Prosecco start to climb back up my throat and my mind starts swimming with worst-case scenarios. My baby sister, injured in a ditch somewhere, alone and afraid.

ELIOTT

Leanne????

Please answer.

LEANNE

soz, jen just sent me a snap and I had to reply

So not dying in a ditch then. Great.

ELIOTT

Jesus fucking christ, Leanne. I was worried about you.

You said it was an emergency.

LEANNE

it IS an emergency

can u send me ￡50 plssssss

promise i’ll pay u back

as soon as my student loan drops

A paragraph of about one hundred praying emojis comes through next and I resist the urge to hurl my phone at the wall.

Leanne is seventeen and enjoying her last summer before she starts her degree in September.

It seems like barely two days can pass without her hitting me up for money, a ride, or some other kind of favour.

ELIOTT

Ask Mum.

LEANNE

she said to ask u

ELIOTT

Of course she did.

What do you need it for?

LEANNE

travel. i don’t have enough in my account to get to work until i get paid next week

can u spare the lecture this once and just let me borrow it???

i PROMISE i’ll pay u back

pinky swear

She won’t, of course. She never does and I doubt she ever will.

ELIOTT

This is the last time.

And we need to have a serious talk about your money management.

LEANNE

THANK YOU!!!!

lifesaver

love youuuuuuuuuuuu xoxo

ELIOTT

Love you too.

I hit send on the bank transfer and then finish the rest of my Prosecco in one gulp, wincing as the alcohol leaves a fiery trail down my throat.

‘You good?’ Sasha asks, shooting me a sideways look.

‘Great.’ I try to shake off the sudden wave of irritation I’m feeling, but it lingers. ‘You ready to go?’

We’re heading to an event hosted by the artist Wes has been DJ-ing for all week. He’ll be behind the decks tonight, which means we’re guaranteed a good time.

Sasha finishes off her glass and then stands up. Just like me, she’s also dressed to impress in a hot pink mini-dress, her long black hair falling in waves to the middle of her back – but Wes is the only man on her mind.

Irritation makes way for a pang of jealously, but I quickly brush it away.

Orgasm first. Then we’ll work on the whole loving life partner thing.

Sasha turns to me and grins. ‘Mission: Big O has officially started.’

As soon as we step through the doors, we’re met with chill R&B, the faint smell of smoke mingling in the air, and a crowd that’s just the right kind of tipsy.

Sasha immediately spots Wes behind the DJ deck and drags us through the crowd to meet him. I don’t mind. It gives me a chance to scope out what I’m working with tonight.

A beautiful girl with braids that fall all the way down to her knees winks at me as we squeeze past her, and my heart does a little flutter.

I make a mental note to find her again on the dance floor at some point tonight, along with the tall, broad-shouldered man with the striking green eyes that follow me as we cut across the room.

‘He’s definitely into you,’ Sasha murmurs, her quick gaze darting to Green Eyes for a half a second before it finds me again. ‘And did you see the guy giving you the once-over when we walked in?’

I shake my head and resist the urge to glance over my shoulder to see if I can spot anyone else looking at me.

‘Well, he was nice. Oh, and there was a guy with locs checking you out. He was hot.’

‘You talking about me?’

I can practically see all thoughts of being my wing woman fly out of Sasha’s mind as Wes leans over the DJ deck and grins down at her. She doesn’t hesitate before diving across the decks and pulling him into a long kiss.

‘He was hot, for Eliott ,’ Sasha clarifies as they pull apart. They’re both wearing identical goofy grins and Wes doesn’t seem to mind at all that Sasha’s left a lipstick stain on his cheek.

Wes grins over at me, and I match his smile. Over the last three years we’ve become friends in our own right, and there’s no one I’d trust with my best friend’s heart more than him.

‘Got your eye on anyone?’

I’m pretty sure Sasha hasn’t told him the extent of my bedroom troubles, but Wes has never once judged me for cycling through partners and has even offered to set me up with a friend of his once or twice.

I’ve always declined, too afraid that my inability to orgasm might start to get round our small circle of friends, but I’ve always appreciated the offer and lack of judgement.

Sasha and I point out the few people we’ve spotted so far, and Wes wishes me luck and kisses Sasha again before he has to return to the decks.

‘All right. Game plan,’ Sasha says as we move through the crowd again and head to the bar. ‘We’ll get some drinks and then start working the room. Give us an hour, and you’ll be dragging someone out of those doors and into your bed. How’s that sound?’

It sounds great, and in theory, it should be.