Chapter Twenty-Two Dane
Eliott is going to be the end of me. I’m sure of it. You can practically put it on my tombstone at this point.
Here lies Dane Clarke. Cause of death: Eliott Rayne.
Because it’s been two weeks since I drove her to that wedding and, despite the turn our ‘platonic’ relationship has taken, we’ve not got anywhere close to replicating what happened in the back of my van.
Every time I close my eyes, I’m transported back to that moment. Even now, as I’m sitting on Cash and Bailey’s sofa waiting for the groom-to-be to finish shoving last-minute items into his suitcase, I’m still thinking about Eliott.
The way she sounded. The way she felt. The way she made me feel. Better than anything I’ve ever felt in my life.
It’s not like we haven’t tried to pick up where we left off.
When she finished the job and came back out to the van that evening, we both briefly entertained the idea of resuming things.
But then all the guests started piling out of the venue and we both agreed that it probably wasn’t the right time or place.
I dropped her home, and she invited me in, an invitation I was more than happy to accept. But then Sasha came bounding out of the front door and we both knew that any hope of privacy was dashed.
Our work schedules over the next two weeks just didn’t line up either.
‘ It’s wedding season ,’ Eliott told me wryly when, for the fifth night in a row, she had to spend the evening photographing another happy couple instead of curling up beside me in bed.
And now this is the first free weekend she’s had in weeks, but I’m about to head off on a four-day trip to Amsterdam for Cash’s stag do. It’s something I should be wildly excited about, but I can’t help the itch of frustration simmering beneath the surface.
I glance up as Finn walks into the room, tugging a suitcase that looks like it cost more than three of my monthly mortgage payments behind him. I can’t help but snort. I make good money with my business, but it’s definitely not Finn Hawthorne kind of money.
‘Can you send over the link for the train tickets again?’
‘Sure.’
I forward over the booking confirmation email for our train tickets from London to Amsterdam later this afternoon.
Cash, Finn, myself, and two of our other friends, Leo and James, make up the groomsmen, and we’re celebrating with four days in Amsterdam before we head on over to Italy for the wedding.
‘Thanks,’ Finn says as he drops into the seat opposite me and immediately begins tapping away on his phone.
It wasn’t a surprise when Cash told me he wanted to ask Finn to be one of his groomsmen.
They’ve got closer since Amber and Finn started dating and Cash and Bailey have been on more double dates with the two of them than I can keep up with.
They flew in last week so Amber could host Bailey’s hen party and wedding shower, and now it’s our turn for some fun.
‘All right,’ Finn says suddenly, looking up from his phone to grin mischievously at me. ‘I’ve upgraded us to first-class.’
I snort again. This is what I mean by Finn Hawthorne kind of money , but I’m not complaining.
‘Nice,’ Cash cheers as he strolls into the room, tugging his definitely overpacked suitcase behind him. ‘Thanks, man. You didn’t have to do that.’
Finn shrugs noncommittally. ‘It’s no big deal. Think of it as another part of our wedding gift to you guys.’
‘Woah,’ I shoot Finn a look of faux concern. ‘Are you trying to upstage the best man?’
‘Never,’ Finn laughs, and I can’t help but appreciate how easy he is to get along with. ‘You’re the one who planned this whole trip. I can’t take any credit for that.’
He’s got a point there. I’ve spent the last six months meticulously planning this trip for Cash, and I’m pretty proud of the itinerary I’ve put together.
We’ve got a canal cruise, a brewery tour, a pedalo treasure hunt, a list of coffee shops to check out over the four days, and that’s all on top of the sprawling Airbnb I managed to find at a decent discount for us to stay in.
Cash is going to love it and I feel my excitement starting to build again.
My phone vibrates and I know who it is without even having to look.
ELIOTT
Hey. Have you left yet?
Have a safe trip. Take lots of pics.
And I’ll see you in France :)
That’s right. Eliott’s joining Bailey and Amber on the train ride from London to Italy, and we’ll meet up with them in France to head to our final destination.
‘What’s so funny?’
I jerk forwards as Bailey and Amber suddenly appear behind me, both nosily trying to squint down at my phone screen. I shrug them off and shove my phone into my pocket. ‘Funny?’
‘Yeah.’ Bailey grins as she plops herself down onto the armrest of the sofa. ‘You were smiling.’
Amber sits on Finn’s lap and his hand immediately comes up to rest on her lower stomach. ‘Go on, Dane. Share the joke.’
I scowl at the both of them, but their grins just widen like they know some huge secret and they don’t plan on sharing. I stand up abruptly before they have the chance to continue. ‘We should get going. If we miss our train, that’s the whole trip ruined.’
That kicks off another five minutes of Bailey and Cash and Amber and Finn saying their goodbyes to each other. It’s cute, I suppose. In that annoying way that couples who are so overwhelmingly in love with each other are.
Could I ever be like that with anyone? If you’d asked me six months ago, the answer would have been a definite no . But now? Now I’m not so sure.
I can almost picture myself kissing Eliott goodbye. Stroking her cheek and whispering something special in her ear, something just for her, before we pull apart.
That’s what they’re all doing now.
Finn says something to Amber that makes her smile, before she gives him a small nod and tries to pull away. He doesn’t let her, though. His hand, still on her stomach, lingers for a little while longer before he reluctantly lets it drop.
I reach for my phone and pull open my chat history with Eliott.
DANE
leaving now, will let you know when we get there
will take pics as long as you don’t mind them all being terrible
we can’t all be pros like you ;)
ELIOTT
Lol. I’ll take what I can get.
Have fun!
DANE
we will
I hesitate for a second and then my fingers are flying over the keyboard before I can put too much thought into it.
DANE
miss you
ELIOTT
Miss you too.
The brownie I halved with Cash earlier today is just about out of my system. My limbs no longer feel heavy and the urge to vegetate on this sofa for all eternity is noticeably less overwhelming.
I glance over to my right. Cash is still sunken in his seat, engaged in a conversation with Leo. His eyelids are definitely less heavy and I imagine the brownie is making its way out of his system, too.
Finn is over by the pool table, engaged in a game with James. The sound of their occasional laughter and friendly banter floats over towards me on the sofa and helps to pull me even further out of this brownie-induced slump.
No regrets, though.
‘How’re you feeling?’ I ask, my voice coming out as more of a drawl than I’m expecting.
Cash lolls his head over in my direction, a goofy grin tugging at his lips. ‘Not bad. You still want to try to make our reservation tonight?’
I groan as I remember that we’ve got a reservation at a semi-fancy restaurant in Amsterdam’s centre this evening. I wouldn’t say that I’m high anymore, but the idea of leaving this incredibly comfy spot on the sofa isn’t an appealing one.
Cash laughs. ‘Yeah, I feel you. You want to stay in tonight? Could order some pizza and play some games?’
I sink further into the sofa and match Cash’s grin with one of my own. ‘Sounds perfect.’
Two hours later and the five of us are scattered around the coffee table surrounded by empty, greasy pizza boxes and several open bottles of wine.
‘Okay, okay,’ James slurs. ‘I’ve got one. Never have I ever… had a one-night stand.’
Everyone, bar James, takes a long sip from their drink. He’s been with his wife since we were in school and was the first one in our friendship group to get married.
‘Boring,’ Leo laughs. He’s been with his fiancé for five years now, and they’re due to get married next winter.
It hits me with a jolt that out of the five of us, I’m the last hold-out.
James is married. Leo’s engaged. Cash will be married to my sister in just a few days. Even Finn. He and Amber might not be married yet, but from the way he looks at her and how he’s been checking in with her every couple of hours, it’s easy to tell that they’re not far behind.
‘You go then,’ James says, rolling his eyes.
‘Never have I ever…’ Leo trails off and wiggles his brows. ‘Never have I ever had sex in a public place.’
There’s a brief pause and then—
‘Define public ,’ Finn says slowly, reaching for his glass.
‘You can decide,’ Leo says with a shrug before downing his own drink.
Finn hesitates for a second, the tips of his ears going pink, and then takes a small sip. James follows suit and Cash…
Cash shoots me a guilty glance before he brings his glass up to his lips.
Oh God.
‘I’m gonna get some air,’ I say quickly.
The intricacies of Cash’s relationship with Bailey are high up on the list of things I absolutely don’t need to know anything about, so I take the opportunity to slip outside. Thankfully, no one protests my sudden absence.
We’re only about twenty minutes from the city, but you’d never believe it. Sprawling fields stretch in every direction and the only thing I can hear is the faint sound of laughter from the guys inside, mixed with the gentle breeze.
It’s peaceful.
Beautiful.
And I wish Eliott were here.
The thought comes to me without any hesitation, but it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. It feels right knowing that Eliott’s become the person I want to share moments like this with. She’s the only person I want around right now.
I don’t have to think twice about calling her, and her smiling face quickly fills my screen as I sink into a comfortable lawn chair.